Tuesday, September 7, 2010

"You Know I'll Win"

We were having a surprisingly honest conversation this evening. Daughter was supposed to be hanging up the clean laundry. She came out with the pathetic look on her face and said, "We need to talk." I assured we would talk as soon as she finished the laundry. She vanished for a while, and when she came back out, I was on the phone. She went upstairs and came back down, asking to watch a particular TV show. I asked what had happened to her need to talk. She was evasive. I said, "You wanted to talk because you didn't want to do the laundry."
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I told her no on the TV show, but invited her to sit next to me and talk. She sat down and wrapped herself around my arm. We talked about all the activities she'd had at the gift shop today. She hadn't called me at all. I pointed out that when she's busy, she feels better. She offered a feeble protest.
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She asked me to tell her about the move to Tiny Village, because she couldn't remember. She was terrified in our home in inner city. She'd had so many nightmares and hallucinations about the abuse that she didn't feel save. Her therapist and I had decided that we needed to emphasize that she'd be safe when we moved, that her birth family wouldn't even know what state we were living in. She talked about her fears in terms of monsters, so we decided we would tell the monsters we were moving to a different state, and that way they wouldn't be able to follow us. She picked out the name of a distant state, and in the house when we discussed the move, that was where we said we were going. She thought it was a fun game, and really got into it.
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The move went fairly smoothly, and she was excited about the fresh start and leaving her fears and monsters behind. So I told her the story, and suggested that this move would also provide her a fresh start and be good. I have promised to get her a new cell phone when we go into change our numbers. She's past due for one, so I promised her one after we move to make the move more attractive. She said when she got her new cell phone, she'd have to put her friends numbers in it. I agreed, and suggested that she could call them and give them her new number. She said something about not being able to remember it. I pointed out that she has an excellent memory for numbers-- she quickly memorized all my numbers, making it impossible for me to escape from her. I said I didn't think I'd give her my new number.
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"What if I have an emergency?"
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"If you don't have my number, you won't have an emergency."
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We went back and forth on this a couple of times, and finally she said, "You know I'll win."
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I didn't admit it, but I know she will create the emergencies to get my attention as she tests to see how things will work in Capital. She'll test the new program, and she'll test me. I hope we pass.
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Oh, and that laundry she'd taken care of? I got suspicious when I went to the bathroom and found a laundry basket with my hung up clothes draped over the top. I lifted up the hangers, and sure enough, all her clothes were wadded up in the bottom of the basket. After much protesting, she hung them up with me watching.

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