More Goodbyes

I had breakfast with a woman this morning, came home briefly, and then went to the gift shop for a farewell party for Daughter. Best Friend Mommy was there with her Daughter We had hamburgers and salad, watched a photo DVD Super Supervisor had made for Daughter (that made everybody cry), and then ate warm apple crisp (Daughter made the topping) with Case Manager and the Adult Services Directors. Daughter did well, comforting her friends. I had decided not to have her spend an hour on the bus after her goodbyes, so I brought her home. We hadn't gone very far before she began sobbing. I told her I was proud of how well she'd handled herself, and acknowledged how hard this was. She said simply, "It hurts."

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This evening my next door neighbor came over. She is enrolled in two classes this year, and is finding out what she needs to do to finish her undergraduate degree. I've encouraged her to aim to start a master's program in library and information science next fall. I even suggested she look at the university in Capital. Whenever I've talked to her the last few weeks, she's sounded terrible. I know my move is hard on her. I was running out of meal slots, so I gave her money and told her to pick up a pizza and come over for supper and to hang out tonight. She did. She talked, and talked, and talked. Finally she said, "What am I going to do without you?" It was the first time she'd admitted how much my impending move was bothering her. I've suspected that was behind her depression, but had been reluctant to suggest it. I reminded her she'd still be able to reach me.
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Talk about fear of abandonment, she insisted I was going to move away and change my phone number and email address and she'd never be able to find me. I took out a business card, and on the back I wrote out the church's website, address, and phone number. I gave her my new home address. I reminded her we wouldn't be that far away. I told her I wanted an invitation to her graduation when she gets her master's degree, and a preview copy of her first book.

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Tonight I was reminding her of her gifts and passions and what she has to contribute to society. I encouraged her not to sell herself short, and to get the credentials so that she can earn money doing what she loves and escape from Tiny Village. After several hours, she was finally ready to leave-- with many thanks and a stiff hug (she is autistic). I will miss her. I hope that I have given her the confidence and the push she needs to follow her dreams. I suspect that after I move she will call frequently for a while-- just to check and make sure I really am still available to her. Once she realizes I meant what I said, the calls will taper off. I hope I do receive that graduation invitation in a couple of years. I will figure out a way to be there.

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