Sunday, March 31, 2013

Christ is risen!

We have had a wonderful Easter.  I got more sleep last night than I think I've ever gotten on an Easter, which was really nice.  There was a good crowd in church this morning, and lots of kids for the children's sermon.  I asked for a brave volunteer, and then wrapped a towel around her neck and told her I was going to give her an egg shampoo, because egg is very good for your hair.  Of course the eggs had been blown out, but the kids and the congregation loved it.  We then talked about how the women were even more surprised to find the tomb empty that first Easter morning.  I talked about moving the knowledge of Easter from our heads to our hearts.  One of the women told me after worship that I was helping her move Easter from her head to her heart. 

Sister and Short Niece joined us for Easter dinner, and it has been a pleasant afternoon.  Daughter is stressing about the move tomorrow.  Interestingly, what she is most concerned about is the safety of the women who are staying at the current house.  That's a very sad commentary on the way things are going there.  There are 6 men lined up to help with the move-- so it won't take any time.   She has a twin bed, dresser, hutch, desk, chair, keyboard, and some boxes.  The church owns a trailer, which they will use for the move.

I hope everyone has had a blessed Easter. 

Saturday, March 30, 2013


I now have some purple crocus blooming.  The weather has been a little sunnier and warmer.  It's actually 55 right now.  Sister and Short Niece are coming for Easter dinner tomorrow, but I decided that time in my yard was a higher priority than cooking and cleaning today.  I picked up Daughter this morning, and we did the necessary grocery shopping (going to the specialty over grown farm market the day before Easter is definitely not a good idea). 

I wrote her a list of cleaning tasks, and I went outside and began spring clean-up.  I filled 3 available yard waste bins and left some stuff piled on the patio.  Yard waste pick up begins this week, so I will be able to empty them on Thursday, and have them ready for Friday.  The ground is still frozen, so I'm limited in what I can do, but it felt so good to be out there working today. 

Yesterday I set up a grow light in the basement and started tomato and pepper seeds.  I also purchased lumber to construct another raised garden bed.  I want to build at least 2 more this spring.  I have a list of projects I can begin working on in my yard.  Apparently they were burying cable in my yard this week.  There are lots of red flags marking underground electrical cables.  There is also a new green box back in the corner.  I'm frustrated, because they broke one of my compost bins and moved the other, dumping all the contents in the process.  I didn't tackle that today, as I want to make sure they're done before I try to repair the damage. 

When I came in from cleaning, daughter told me to rest for a few minutes-- she could tell I'd been working hard.  She's working in the kitchen right now.  It's wonderful to have her so cooperative.  Of course, I had to lock everything up before I could go outside, but it's okay.  It's nice to have the freedom to go play in the dirt while she cleans....

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Maundy Thursday

Daughter came home in a relatively good mood.  She hung up on me mid-afternoon because I wouldn't drop everything and go pick her up.  She got upset about something, and as always, her first impulse is to run away.  As always, I refused to come rescue her, telling her I had confidence in her.  By the time she got home whatever it was had been forgotten.  I was concerned, because she told me she was up until 2:00 this morning packing.  I was afraid she'd be grouchy, and I needed her cooperative for worship.

This evening we had our Maundy Thursday service.  I get bored, and like to change things around.  So this year, I wrote a drama for Maundy Thursday.  It's nice, because I have people who are eager to support my crazy ideas.  We had 8 people with parts tonight, and one of our members had written new lyrics for a hymn that went with the drama.  His wife was surprised-- she didn't know he was doing that until she read it in the bulletin.  Actually, until someone else pointed it out to her in the bulletin.  The pianist's husband was there tonight.  He took exception to some of the language in the communion service.  He went and told one of the men about it.  I came home and looked it up, and found the language in question comes straight from our worship book.  I was worried, because I'd written all the communion liturgy, and thought I might have made a mistake. 

Other than the complaints about language (from someone who comes from a very different tradition), the feedback on the service was very positive.  This congregation is very appreciative of the work I do, which is nice.  Have I mentioned lately how much I love my life. 

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Holy Week 2

Back when I was in seminary, there was one Easter I wasn't serving a church.  A friend and I went to a sunrise service, hoping to then spend the rest of the day studying.  Except when we got there, the sermon wasn't about the discovery of the empty tomb.  We went back to campus, disappointed and feeling strangely empty.  So we decided to go to another worship service.  Same thing.  It took us Easter services to hear a sermon on the discovery of the empty tomb and what Easter means.  I've always remembered that. 

I have now planned well over 30 Easter services (many years I've had to plan two-- sunrise and regular service).  I am careful to focus on the Easter story each year.  But I also feel the need to find a new perspective, a new twist on it each year.  I get bored if I don't.  As a result, I find myself spending a great deal of time on the Easter sermon.  Of course, I also have Maundy Thursday and Good Friday to prepare, too.  I managed to get most of Maundy Thursday done last week.  Good Friday is a community service, so I only have to worry about a very short meditation on one of the seven last words. 

So I agonize over the Easter sermon.  I have the hook, I know the direction, and I worry and tweak and rearrange.  I look forward to Easter all year, and it will be a wonderful day.  First, though, I have some more perfecting to do on the sermon. 

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Daughter's Birthday

Daughter was in a good mood when I picked her up for her doctor's appointment.  I had carefully gathered all the items she bought with the money she took, placed them in a large box, and wrapped them.  She opened it up in the car when we got to the doctor's office.  I was a little concerned about what her reaction would be.  She was surprised, and then she thanked me.  I searched for a card that expressed my love but wasn't full of untruths about our reality.  I found one that talked about daughters liking to call and chat.  It said she'd brought much happiness to my life and I like spending time with her.  She pronounced it "perfect."

Her appointment went well.  The medical assistant asked if she needed any refills.   I told her I'd asked the house, and they said she didn't, but they'd probably call tomorrow seeking refills.  She smiled.  I also pointed out she's moving in less than a week.

We went out to eat after her appointment.  She chose a Mexican place.  It's part of a small chain, and we've eaten at one when we've been on vacation.  We talked about the move.  I offered her some suggestions for dealing with the sadness. 

I took her back to her house, and she left happy.  She called a little while ago, obviously down.  It seems that both of the staff members at her house went on an outing with some of the women, forcing Daughter to go wait for their return at the men's house, which she hates.  She told me that one is supposed to stay back at the house, and she was frustrated that they weren't doing what they were supposed to do.  I said, "That's why you are moving."  I'm glad she'll be out of there soon. 


It's wonderful to be able to laugh.  We had lots of laughter at yesterday evening's board meeting.  One of our members was absent, as he is vacationing on a tropical island.  After he booked the trip (he had to cancel one scheduled for earlier this year due to family issues), he discovered that during Holy Week there are restrictions on some of the water sports he most enjoys.  He was not happy.  It became a running joke throughout the session meeting-- "email it to ___ to figure out.  He can't do anything else." 

This morning Administrative Assistant, Treasurer and I were all working in the same office.  The light hearted banter taking place as we went about our various tasks was fun.  It's Holy Week and newsletter week.  Daughter is stressing over her upcoming move.  We have lots of work to do, and we know that it will get done.  So we laugh.  We laugh and we lighten the load.  Have I mentioned recently how much I love my life? 

Monday, March 25, 2013

It Hit

This morning Daughter realized that saying hello to a new house requires saying good bye to her current house, and that she is going to miss some of the things/people connected with the current house.  She called me this morning, crying.  She doesn't want to move now.  I'm really surprised it took her this long to reach this point.  I've had some time to think about it, and will be better prepared for her next call about this.  Tonight they are celebrating her birthday at the house.  That will either distract her or increase the pain.  I'm tied up with a board meeting this evening, so I hope it distracts her. 

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Holy Week

Today marks the beginning of Holy Week.  This morning we had palms, glued broken tiles to a cross, and baptized a baby in worship.  When we get that much going on in worship, it's hard for me to relax and not attempt to micromanage everything.  Sometimes I just need to step back and trust God.  The service went well, and a number of people expressed appreciation.  I'm glad it's over. 

I'm already a little less patient as Holy Week approaches.   I received an email from the grandmother of the baby being baptized today.  She had a part in the service, and was requesting edits on it.  I decided to ignore her email.  The edits weren't appropriate, and I suspect my response to her might not have been, either.

Tomorrow night is the board meeting.  It is newsletter week.  I have meditations to prepare for worship on Thursday and Friday, in addition to the big event on Sunday.  I have a love/hate relationship with Holy Week.  I love this season, and all the special services.  I hate the extra work and the fatigue that accompanies it.  So I'm back at the church, trying to finish the worship service for Thursday before the special service we're having this evening. 

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Ambitious Plans

I picked up Daughter after lunch, telling her it would be an opportunity to earn some money to pay me back.  She came home and sat down and made a very ambitious list that basically involved deep cleaning the entire house, including exterior windows.  I told her I liked the list, and then circled the things I wanted her to do first.  If I hadn't, she'd have started with cleaning the exterior windows, gotten cold, discouraged, and quit.  I can hear her cleaning the bathroom.  She's running water in the bathtub, which means she's cleaning an area she often ignores.  She's also singing.  I like the sounds of that. 

I'm glad that she wants to make amends.  I will have cheap labor for quite some time.  I've also decided that for her birthday I will wrap up the various items she purchased with the money she stole from me and give them back to her.  Will she be happy?  No, but she took the money I would have used to purchase her gift.  I will take her out for a nice meal. 

Oh, and let me explain why I didn't have her arrested/press charges.  I doubt they would have jailed her for this.  Jail would not be good for her.  I have serious doubts about their ability to handle her medical issues.  There would have been multiple triggers for her PTSD.  I don't want to think about the impact it would have had on her mental health.  I still remember one of her psychiatrists saying to me, "Remember, she is very fragile."   What did he mean by that?  In the best of times her grasp on reality is tenuous.  It doesn't take much to push her into psychosis. 

Friday, March 22, 2013

The Move

Daughter was at the library and got on facebook.  She was reflecting on her upcoming move.  Here is what she wrote, complete with her unique spellings:

it is hard for me to relize that i am growing up. i am so scared out of my heart, soul and mind about moving again. it is a new change but, it is all good because it will be helping me get the real independence skills that i really need.

i have been thaught by a great friend, paster, and mother the best phrase that works for people in life.

It made my day.  I think it is an accurate reflection of her very mixed feelings about the entire situation. 

Thursday, March 21, 2013

The Sensor

The Sensor on our computers is working.  I am convinced that church office equipment has built in sensors that know when we are especially busy, and choose those times to cause trouble. 

Administrative Assistant and her computer were at war today.  It made my problems seem minor.  She was creating a flyer on a half sheet of paper.  I wrote the text and sent it to her with the usual instruction, "Fix it and make it look pretty."  She pulled in a graphic, adjusted spacing, and sent it to the printer.  It printed one side of the half sheet perfectly.  The other side only had the graphic.  She checked print preview,  and it was fine there.  She tried every trick the two of us could come up with, including opening a new document and cutting and pasting the side that would print twice.  She tried printing it on a different printer.  She tried printing the correct side twice on the same sheet.  It would still only show the graphic for the second side.  Eventually she surrendered, stating that she would just cut and paste the old fashioned way and use that to create copies. 

Fortunately, we're in pretty good shape going into Holy Week.  I will probably regret putting that in writing, but for right now I'm going to enjoy this feeling of confidence.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Spoiled Brat

Case Manager called a little while ago.  She'd seen Daughter yesterday, and had been very frustrated with her.  Her assessment:  Daughter is acting like a spoiled brat right now.  She's got a point.

She called me today insisting she needed the house to come pick her up immediately.  I informed her she could and would stay until the end of her day and suggested she go listen to some music.  She then sent me a text informing me she was never going back to that program.  I ignored it.  I'm sure in an hour she'd forgotten all about it.

Daughter is very volatile right now.  I know the stress contributes to it.  It doesn't excuse it.  She's apparently going around and inviting people to a birthday party she's not having.  It would be nice if I could figure out how much of this is in her control right now.....

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Angry Call

Daughter called me this evening, furious.  She had seen Case Manager, and Case Manager had asked her about the money she took from me.  She was very unhappy that I had told Case Manager about the theft.  I didn't have a lot of sympathy.  I told her it was her own doing.  She ended up hanging up on me.   It didn't bother me at all. 

I'm glad Case Manager confronted her about it.  She needs to understand that actions have consequences. 

The Ever Changing Appointment and Spring

I received a call this morning from Daughter's doctor's office.  Her doctor is home sick the rest of the week, so they needed to reschedule her appointment.  For those of you who are counting, this appointment has now been changed 3 times.  When I talked to them last week, there were no openings until April 30.  Today there was one at 3:30 on Tuesday.  That happens to be Daughter's birthday, so I'll take her out for a birthday dinner after the appointment. 

It means I don't have to drag her to the clergy planning breakfast with me on Thursday this week.  It means I don't have to have her here two nights during the week.  Of course, she's less than thrilled.  I'll be glad when we make it through this physical.

One of our men came over to check on a problem with our elevator.  On his way in, he cleared a path to the front door.  He came into the office and announced, "Today's the last time we'll have to shovel snow.  Spring starts tomorrow."  I hope he's right.  I did see a robin in the tree outside the office.  He looked a little cold as snow swirled around him.  It's been an interesting winter.  The majority of our snow came late, which made the winter seem very long. 

Monday, March 18, 2013


Daughter will be turning 26 next week.  Next week is Holy Week.  Apparently she has decided that Sister is more likely to throw a birthday party for her than I am.  I had a call from Sister a little while ago, asking about a series of text messages she'd received from Daughter outlining her wishes for her party, including karaoke.  Sister wondered if I'd told Daughter to talk to her.  I assured her I hadn't. 

As the move approaches, her behavior is becoming more bizarre.  April 1st seems like a long ways away right about now....

Sunday, March 17, 2013


Today was a busy Sunday.  Prayer class, worship, annual meeting, fellowship meal, and then at 3:00, nursing home worship.  Daughter wanted to stay for the nursing home worship.  I told her that was fine, but we'd be at the church, because I didn't want her in my house.  She said, "I thought we were over and done with that."  I told her I'd forgiven her, but I didn't trust her.  I pointed out that she doesn't like it when she finds out someone has been in her room at her house.  She was being stubborn and refusing to see the connection. 

I was tired by the time I dropped her off at her house this afternoon.  I was part way home when she called, demanding I turn around and come back to the house.


"Staff came in and stripped my bed!" 

"So remake it."

"I didn't strip it!"

"You don't like that someone was in your room while you were gone?  Did they steal $160 from you?"


I chuckled as I drove the rest of the way home....

Saturday, March 16, 2013

"She'll Be Saved!"

Daughter's visit seems to be going well.  We need to work on calculating food and insulin.  This afternoon she called me, very excited.  Relatives of one of her housemates had come to visit the new house, as they are getting ready to move their family member, too.  At first I was concerned, because this house mate can be difficult.  Daughter, though, was ecstatic, "Now she'll be saved!  They didn't know how to handle her and comfort her.  She had to come to me because I understood her." 

I'm sad to think she doesn't feel any of them are safe in the current house, and glad she will be out of there soon.  I think that house is much worst than I had imagined. 


Daughter called me yesterday evening.  She has a patch that is supposed to be changed once a week.  The house doesn't change it on schedule.  I complained some time back and asked them to please put the date on the patch when they change it.  They thought that was a good idea, and agreed to do it.  Yeah right.  The new home was concerned about the poor record keeping and uncertainty as to how long it had been since the patch was changed.  I told them that was why she was moving. 

As if that wasn't bad enough, they forgot to pack insulin for Daughter.  She called me sobbing, telling me she was stupid.  I informed her it was the responsibility of staff to assure she had the meds she needed.  The house was bringing her insulin, but she was upset, as her she had her supper in front of her and couldn't eat until she got insulin. 

I will be so glad when she is moved and settled into the new place.  I will be able to relax, knowing that her medications are being administered properly and double checked. 

Friday, March 15, 2013

Fall Out

I had difficulty sleeping last night.  Daughter continues to show a great deal of remorse.  I sent out a bunch of emails last night.  Case Manager is all over it.  She was not happy that program staff allowed her to spend over $100.  As she pointed out, none of their clients have that kind of money to spend. 

I will pick her up early Sunday morning from the new house and return her to the old house Sunday afternoon.  Her current house has agreed to take her to get her fasting blood work done Monday or Tuesday.  She will next be with me overnight on Wednesday.  I really don't want her here over night right now.  I don't like keeping everything locked up.  I don't like thinking about her going through my drawers.

On the other hand, in Sunday School we're talking about the parable of the prodigal son-- more properly called the parable of the forgiving father.  I forgive her, but trusting her and losing the feeling of having been violated is a bit harder....

Thursday, March 14, 2013


It's been a long week.  I realized early on that the calendar didn't work.  Monday was supposed to be my quiet reading day when the church office is officially closed.  I had at least 8 people come through for a variety of reasons.  Tuesday I was in the office in the morning, then an afternoon meeting and an overnight retreat.  After too little sleep, I was back in the office yesterday afternoon, and led the Lenten study yesterday evening.  I was in bed by 9:00 last night.

This afternoon I had a meeting 70 miles away.  I decided we would go out for supper tonight before choir, as I didn't want to cook.  When I got home, I went into my bedroom and opened the drawer where I hide my extra cash.  The money was gone. 

Apparently, Daughter was searching my room Saturday, and took the money on Sunday.  She says there was $160.  I thought there was more, but don't know.  Yesterday her program staff took her out shopping.  She spent over $100.  She returned about $43. 

She announced she was going back to the house, and I took her.  She said she knew I was mad at her, and I told her I was sad and hurt.  She felt remorse.  She promised to pay me back.  I told her she has to bring me everything she purchased on Sunday.  She said she wouldn't do her visit to the new house tomorrow.  I said she would.  I'm tired.  I don't want to be around her right now.  We still haven't figured out the pharmacy issues.  I still need to write a sermon.  I won't be getting my day off tomorrow. 

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Not Soon Enough

This move can't happen soon enough for me.  I scheduled Daughter for a physical.  The house changed it without consulting me.  Then they told me they'd changed it and they couldn't take her, I'd have to do it.  She has to have a physical before she moves on April 1.  They scheduled the physical for 9:45 next Thursday.  I have a clergy breakfast at 8:00 that morning, and we will be finalizing plans for the community Good Friday service at that breakfast.  The appointment is on one side of town, and her house and program are on the opposite side of town.  So yesterday I called to see if I could change the appointment.  The next available appointment for a physical was April 30. 

I finally figured out that if her house drops her off at the church after program on Wednesday, she can come to the even supper and class here at the church and go to the breakfast with me Thursday.  We'll leave from the breakfast to get her to her doctor's appointment.  I'd prefer not to have her at the breakfast, I'm not thrilled about having her Wednesday evening, but it's the only way I can figure to get the appointment in around all my other responsibilities.  Have I mentioned that this is a very busy time of year for me?

I informed Administrative Assistant that the calendar this week doesn't work.  I have entirely too may commitments.  I will be working Friday.  She stepped up and proofread and corrected the PowerPoint for tomorrow evening's class while I was at a meeting this afternoon.  Tonight is my overnight retreat with my colleagues.  It's non-negotiable.  I need that time of fellowship and worship as I head towards Easter, even if I have to work on Friday to do it....

Monday, March 11, 2013

The Saga Continues

So I got an update on the pharmacy issues today.  The pharmacy is no longer insisting that Daughter was covered by military insurance.  Now they're saying that an ownership change last year changed her formulary, resulting in her insulins no longer being covered.  I was able to pull up her prescription records online for the last two years, and discovered this was a complete fabrication.  In fact, by the end of the year insurance was completely paying for her insulins, making it unnecessary to bill Medicaid for the co-pays.  I have yet to receive and itemized bill, and their story keeps changing.  I am finding it very hard to trust anything they say at this point. 

Daughter went back to the house yesterday after a good visit with me.  It's pretty obvious now that her mood is down when she's at the house.  It improves significantly when she is with me.  Moving day is 3 weeks from today.  I'm looking forward to getting it done. 

Sunday, March 10, 2013


I hate the spring time change.  I never sleep well the night before, afraid that I will oversleep and be late for church.  I never have, but I always worry about the possibility.  Once again, I made it on time.  It took me a minute to figure out why it was so dark when I went into the sanctuary to plug in the coffee. 

A month and a half ago we made a major change to the worship area.  We have long counter and cabinets we call the commitment center.  We put sign up sheets there, as well as information for people to pick up.  The Commitment Center had been along the gathering area when you first enter the sanctuary.  The result was that people congregated there before worship, and it was rather uninviting to visitors, who were confronted with a mass of people that made it difficult to get through.  So, as an experiment, we moved the cabinets to another location. 

I was skeptical.  I thought that it was so much a part of the culture of the congregation that people would continue to gather in the same area.  I was wrong.  People moved around with their conversations.  An unanticipated result was that more people began using the Commitment Center, since it was easier to get to it. 

There was one long time member who was not too pleased with the change.  He thought the area looked bare and uninviting after we made the change.  However, he didn't oppose it, and made suggestions to improve things.  Today another member returned from an extended vacation.  So the long time member who didn't like the change, proudly gave her a tour of the changes.  I like that kind of opposition....

Saturday, March 9, 2013


Daughter helped me do some work in the basement today.  I had never put everything away after the craft show at the church in November.  So today, I did.  I also decided to finish several sewing projects.  I had several pairs of Daughter's jeans that were too big for her.  I had put elastic in the back, but when I tried to stitch them up, I broke the needle on my sewing machine.  I bought some heavy duty needles for denim, and lost them.  So when I got to the jeans in my cleaning, we went to the store and I bought heavy duty needles.  So today I finished the modification on Daughter's jeans.  I also hemmed two pairs of slacks that have been hanging in my closet for over a year. 

Daughter sorted beads for me.  She also swept, without being asked.  Not only did she sweep my craft area, she swept the stairs and the storage area.  I was impressed.  It is still an unfinished basement, but it's a little more inviting than it was.  I'm still planning to paint the concrete walls, and I'm pondering the possibility of painting the ceiling silver/gray so it blends with the duct work. 

While we were out, we stopped to get a pizza for lunch.  There was a woman sitting there who recognized me  She's a neighbor, and she wanted to talk.  She's an older woman, and has a 16 year old boy living with her.  He's a relative, and he's not doing well.  She doesn't know what to do.  I sat and talked to her for a few minutes while Daughter waited in the car.  It's such a sad story-- I suggested she call protective services and seek help for him.   As frustrated as I get with the system, this boy needs help, and she has no standing to get it at this point.  The school told her the only way was to get protective services involved.  She was worried the boy's mother would be mad at her.  I told her she needed to advocate or the boy at this point.  It was a sad story.  I'll be praying for them both. 

Long Weekend

Daughter had yesterday off program, which I had forgotten.  She wanted to be with me the entire weekend, and I agreed. Yesterday we cleaned house in the morning and then in the afternoon I took Daughter and her friend to see Oz.  It was a pleasant day.  I had everything ready for Sunday when I left the church Thursday, so I truly have 2 days off.  I like that. It makes for a very relaxing weekend. 

Friday, March 8, 2013


The pharmacy issue keeps working its way up the chain of command at the community agency.  The pharmacy continues to insist that Daughter's primary insurance was military insurance, and that the bill is accurate.  I continue to disagree.  Daughter knows nothing of this, of course, and I have made it very clear that she is not to be told anything about it. 

It would be nice if she didn't need so many meds.  She is very right when she says it's not fair that she has all these problems.  I share her wish that she were normal....

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

To Laugh or to Cry....

Daughter called this morning.  She sounded tired.  When I asked her how she was she acknowledged that she was tired.  She didn't sleep well last night... because staff came in and woke her up 4 times to make sure she was okay.  Sigh.

At least they were checking her through the night....

Tuesday, March 5, 2013


It's been 24 hours since Daughter called.  I'm not sure if that is good news or bad news.  I haven't had emails about anything new with her today, though the issues from yesterday regarding her drug bill and her visit at the new house continue to float around in cyberspace, without any resolution. 

Today was more productive with church work.  We're finalizing plans for Holy Week, and I'm feeling less overwhelmed here at the church.  My walking partner and I went on a short walk during the middle of the day, which was nice.  Now I'm off to purchase a garage door opener and find a brownie mix so I can bribe the property guys tomorrow....

Monday, March 4, 2013

Grrr #2

I just had a long email from Nurse.  She was at the workshop today and saw Daughter sleeping in an office. She thought there was a problem with her diabetes, but after talking to Daughter discovered she's stressed about the upcoming move.  Daughter told her the staff at the new house don't speak good English and she can't understand them.  She's concerned this is a big issue and we need to address it. 

I wrote a long response saying that when we as Daughter why she's stressed, she has to come up with reasons.  The reasons may or may not be real concerns, but when they are real, they are usually minor.  She doesn't do well with transitions.  This is a long, drawn out transition.  She needs reassurance, not us blowing up each concern she raises into a big problem.  She called me at lunch time today, seeking reassurance, and I was with a member and couldn't talk.  When she couldn't talk to me, the emotions overwhelmed her and she fell asleep. 

Stay calm.  Listen and reassure her.  Remind her of other transitions she's successfully navigated.  This could be a very long month....


After a year of trying to deal with the pharmacy on Daughter's prescription bills, I just got off the phone with the pharmacy manager.  There is an outstanding bill of over $2,000.  My insurance was covering her prescriptions with a high co-pay, but Medicaid wasn't covering her insulins.  She only needs those to live.  I'm very frustrated that they weren't communicating with me about these issues.  Every time I called they would tell me it was a mistake and they would fix it.  Daughter has $44 a month in spending money.  The rest of her SSI goes to her home to cover a portion of her care there.  The manager admits there were communication issues, but insists they are fixed now.  Interesting, since I didn't hear about the issues with the insulins until today.  I'm not convinced the issues are fixed.....

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Aching Heart

Daughter's second visit went went well.  She said it was very comfortable-- almost like being at home with me.  I saw this as a positive, but she wasn't so sure.  After she went to bed I realized what the issue was.  She is afraid I'm getting her a new family and abandoning her.  We talked about it on the way to church this morning, and she quickly acknowledged the fear.  I offered her reassurance, and we talked about how we felt at home at Grandma and Grandpa's and at our home. 

She didn't want to go back this afternoon.  She called the current house the "torture house."  She doesn't go to the new house again for two weeks, and then it is another two weeks after that before she moves.  This long, drawn out process is very hard on her.  She forgot her cell phone this morning, and she was being difficult, so I was not willing to turn around and come get it for her before taking her back. 

She called me this evening.  "I'm depressed, Mom."  She is so stressed right now.  My heart aches for her.  This is going to be a very long month. 

Saturday, March 2, 2013


Daughter is whining today.  I think it is probably indicative of her stress level, but it is definitely getting on my nerves.  I think that I will engage her as little as possible so I don't have to deal with her whines.  I was going to offer her the opportunity to earn some money, but it would involve engaging her, and listening to her whine. 

This is going to be a very long month as we wait for the move.  She also said she thinks that there is only one resident in the house, which has me wondering what happened to the other resident.  Since they are licensed for 6, it also means she will be dealing with a lot of change in the months ahead. 

Friday, March 1, 2013

Phone Calls

Daughter called late this afternoon, crying.  She was afraid about her overnight visit to the new house.  We talked about how she was scared last week, too, and how it had all worked out.  I suggested she take the weighed stuffed cat Administrative Assistant made her with her, and we talked about some other things she could do to help herself calm down. 

She called after she got picked up, and she was very happy.  They were going out to eat.  She called again from the restaurant with a question, still sounding good.  She just called to say good night.  She was ready for bed.  She sounded tired, but good.  I'll pick her up from the new house at 1:30 tomorrow.  Hopefully she will sleep well and have a good morning, too. 

She was worried earlier if it was okay to call me from the new house.  I asked if she had a cell phone.  She acknowledged she did.  I reminded her she had it so she could call me. 

Interesting Confirmation

Daughter is spending the night at the new house this evening.  We were talking about the new house yesterday, and she was talking about one of the residents.  Apparently, she is the daughter of a woman who is an administrator working out of Daughter's current house.  So she works for the group of homes where Daughter currently lives, but doesn't let her daughter live there. 

I'm glad Daughter is moving, and so is she.