Wednesday, March 31, 2010
- Holy Week is always a good time to push Mom. As she is trying to plan sermons and worship services, tell her you want to have fun with her.
- Anytime she asks you to do a chore, fall asleep.
- When she is on the phone, sneak away with the remote control for the satellite. Tell her you're cleaning your room while you're watching TV in the den.
- Always wait until after all the laundry is done to find all your dirty clothes and put them in the hamper.
- Tell Mom that Kitten is always using the litter box and that you are cleaning it everyday. When she takes an electrician into the litter box room, allow her to discover that you've been lying and that Kitten isn't using the litter box and you haven't been cleaning up after her.
- Tell Mom you took care of the blankets she had to wash because you wet the bed and then stuff them beside the dryer on top of the vent.
- Always use the last piece of toilet paper. Never hang a new roll.
- Eat the marshmallows she bought and hid to make resurrection buns for the Sunday morning children's sermon so that she can spend an hour making an extra trip to town to buy more.
- Take advantage of anytime she can't see you to sneak more food, and then assure her you haven't eaten anything and you don't understand why your blood sugar is so high.
- Always leave the light on when you go down to the basement to get something. This works so well, never turn off a light.
- When she is in a hurry, always take your time. She needs to slow down, so give her that opportunity every chance you get. It is especially helpful to stand outside the car with the door open asking questions when you're late for an appointment.
- When she discovers the clothes you have hidden on the closet floor on one side of your closet, deal with those, but make sure you dump other things on the floor on the other side of your closet.
- Insist that you don't want to help with this month's senior luncheon and that you need to be at the workshop.
- When you know she is going to be busy with the senior luncheon call her (repeatedly) sobbing and insisting she has to come get you right now.
- Let her know that she is making your life a living h***.
Fortunately, she has been at the workshop all day today and will be at the workshop all day tomorrow. Even better, she will be at the workshop 4 days next week. She will be at the workshop 4 days next week no matter what happens.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
- Protect your boundaries. Our children's emotions belong to them. We are not responsible for them, and we don't need to share them.
- Stay off the roller coaster. Just because our kids are taking a wild ride doesn't mean we have to accompany them. We can love them from the station, and be waiting for them when they get back to the station.
- Give them responsibility for their decisions and actions. We are not responsible for rescuing them.
- Pick one message and repeat it until it sinks in. With Daughter, my message has been, "I will keep you safe while you are learning to keep yourself safe." As she's gotten older, I've emphasized more her need to keep herself safe. I think now the message has transformed into, "You have a voice and can use it to keep yourself safe."
- Certain things can send us into Mama Bear mode-- no matter how old our children might be. We can't stay in that mode indefinitely without it having an impact our own health and well being.
- We have to take care of ourselves (and especially our marriages) if we want to be there for our children.
- We will always be their parents, and we will always worry. We do need to let them grow up and stand on their own two feet.
We had a good breakfast and conversation this morning. It was the beginning of a conversation. I hope it was as helpful for her as it was for me-- when I am teaching and supporting others, I am also reminding myself. I need those reminders on a regular basis.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
"What did he say?"
"He called me the n word and said you were white trash."
"Yes, I told him you didn't smell like trash so you weren't white trash."
I am grateful for reason to smile. Are you all glad to know I don't smell like trash?
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
- She hasn't been sleeping well. She was up at 5:00 this morning.
- She doesn't seem to have a good grasp of reality.
- She has been trying to hurt herself in a variety of ways.
- She keeps going back to Flasher, even though she admits he is dangerous. Today she said he'd been "touching" her in "private" places. It's the first I'd heard of that. Who knows if it's real.
- It's unclear how much of this is medication related and how much of this is related to the toxic environment at the workshop. As Psychiatrist pointed out, she's claiming she's been molested, which would be a very powerful trigger for her PTSD. I said I thought Flasher was a symptom, and not the cause.
- She said she's not able to break up with Flasher. When I pointed out she did Friday, she said the only reason she could do it then was because I was in the room with her.
- She was presenting as very depressed, with her head down almost to her knees. It was hard for Psychiatrist to get her to say anything.
- She has been wetting the bed.
She wet the bed again last night. The three nights she was dry began with her breakup with Flasher. She agreed to be his girlfriend again yesterday, and wet the bed last night. She is putting herself in what she knows are dangerous situations.
When she left this morning, I told her to turn the ringer on on her cell phone, and I would call her when I got to the workshop so I wouldn't have to park the car and go in. She called while I was on my way, and I told her I'd be there in three minutes, so to be waiting for me. When I got there, she wasn't waiting for me. So I called her. I called her multiple times. She wasn't answering. When she finally answered, she told me I'd have to come in, because she couldn't go to the lobby until I came because there wasn't anyone there to watch her. I was not happy as I parked the car and went in, and then had to ring the bell several times before someone showed up to call her to the front. She had been busy talking to her friends, so she hadn't bothered answering my calls or telling me why she wasn't out there waiting for me. She said, "Are you made at me?"
I put extra effort into explaining her diabetic needs when I admitted her, hoping to avoid the problems we've had with that in the past. She called me a little before 7:00 tonight in tears. She wasn't safe there. They gave her a regular, high carb meal for supper without checking her blood sugar or giving her insulin. She wasn't happy. She also said they needed me to bring her birth control pill in right away. She told them I wouldn't be back until Thursday, and the nurse asked about someone else dropping it off. I called and spoke with the nurse. There had been a delay in getting her orders, but they were now in place. I pointed out that I live a distance from the hospital, that she is only on the pill to control her periods, and that they wouldn't be able to use the pills anyway, as I'd taken them out of their original packaging and put them in the pill boxes I set up for a month at a time. I warned her didn't have a clear grasp of reality right now. Apparently she was telling Nurse that Flasher had been slapping her. I doubt that story. But that doesn't mean that he isn't a danger to her.
I'm considering pulling her out of the workshop at least on Mondays. Then she'd only be at the workshop with him on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. I hope we'll be out of here soon. I hope the next place will have a healthier atmosphere in their workshop. Fortunately, God knows what we need even better than we do.
Monday, March 8, 2010
"That's three nights in a row I haven't wet the bed."
"That shows what happens when I'm not as stressed and angry."
Sunday, March 7, 2010