The bus picks up Daughter a little after 8:00, so on mornings she's going to the workshop, she has to be up and moving by 7:00. I have decided I'm not going to wake her up, because the longer she's asleep, the longer I have alone in the mornings. So this morning she came strolling down the stairs about 8:30. "Is it too late to call the workshop and have the bus pick me up today?"
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I pointed out the time, and when I got off the phone reminded her that she couldn't go to the workshop because she wasn't keeping herself safe from Flasher. Last night I told her she needed to come up with a plan for the day so she could begin turning things around. She did, and the work she had given herself was reasonable. This morning I added bringing in the recycling bins and putting away the clean dishes to it.
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I went up to her bedroom, and discovered she had put her urine soaked night clothes on the carpet. I called her up and reminded her that I had told her she couldn't put any wet things on the carpet. I told her she was ruining the carpet, and this wasn't even our house, it belonged to the church. She took the items downstairs and added them to the washing machine.
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After she finished breakfast she came into my study and I held out the list. She informed me to forget it. She felt too guilty to do the list, she was just going to work on her room today. I told her it was her choice, but if she didn't take care of the list, there would be consequences. She told me again she wasn't going to do it. I told her that was fine. She tried again. I informed her I wasn't going to fight with her. She stormed upstairs and announced that she wasn't even going to clean her room, she was just going to it. Her room stinks, and the mattress is still wet, so it's not going to be very comfortable up there.
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She came back down and demanded the list. She tried again to pick a fight. Again I refused to take the bait. It could be a very long day. I am determined, though, that this is her problem and will remain her problem.
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As I prepared supper and worked in the kitchen last night, I listened to a wonderful sermon podcast on facing storms. It was exactly what I needed to hear. My devotional material this morning was also right on target. I am not in this alone. As hard as it is, this will remain Daughter's problem.
5 comments:
Good for you! You may want to rent a carpet cleaner (if you don't already have one) and add cleaning her bedroom carpet to your DD's list of chores.
Learning to respect other people's property is an important life skill, as is respect in general.
I hope things are better tomorrow.
When I refused to engage in the fight, Daughter began to turn things around. She has had a productive morning (for her). I've again explained to her that I have to work, and that I'm busy when she's at the workshop. She seems both calmer and happier this afternoon. I'm hoping the improvement will continue.
I'm happy to hear the day started good. I hope it continues. Way to go for sticking it out-sometimes (most times for me) it's hard not to bite when they are doing anything to get you to engage.
Linda--
I've been engaging far too often lately. It really is hard. You have more issues to deal with with your kids, and I admire your patience with them.
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