How to Make Mom Crazy

Daughter truly is resourceful and talented when it comes to pushing my buttons. I think it's high time that I recognize and honor her ability here on my blog. So, in honor of her ability to make me yell, I offer you this list:

• Holy Week is always a good time to push Mom. As she is trying to plan sermons and worship services, tell her you want to have fun with her.
• Anytime she asks you to do a chore, fall asleep.
• When she is on the phone, sneak away with the remote control for the satellite. Tell her you're cleaning your room while you're watching TV in the den.
• Always wait until after all the laundry is done to find all your dirty clothes and put them in the hamper.
• Tell Mom that Kitten is always using the litter box and that you are cleaning it everyday. When she takes an electrician into the litter box room, allow her to discover that you've been lying and that Kitten isn't using the litter box and you haven't been cleaning up after her.
• Tell Mom you took care of the blankets she had to wash because you wet the bed and then stuff them beside the dryer on top of the vent.
• Always use the last piece of toilet paper. Never hang a new roll.
• Eat the marshmallows she bought and hid to make resurrection buns for the Sunday morning children's sermon so that she can spend an hour making an extra trip to town to buy more.
• Take advantage of anytime she can't see you to sneak more food, and then assure her you haven't eaten anything and you don't understand why your blood sugar is so high.
• Always leave the light on when you go down to the basement to get something. This works so well, never turn off a light.
• When she is in a hurry, always take your time. She needs to slow down, so give her that opportunity every chance you get. It is especially helpful to stand outside the car with the door open asking questions when you're late for an appointment.
• When she discovers the clothes you have hidden on the closet floor on one side of your closet, deal with those, but make sure you dump other things on the floor on the other side of your closet.
• Insist that you don't want to help with this month's senior luncheon and that you need to be at the workshop.
• When you know she is going to be busy with the senior luncheon call her (repeatedly) sobbing and insisting she has to come get you right now.
• Let her know that she is making your life a living h***.

Fortunately, she has been at the workshop all day today and will be at the workshop all day tomorrow. Even better, she will be at the workshop 4 days next week. She will be at the workshop 4 days next week no matter what happens.