Brain Dump

Lots going on. Lots running through my brain. So prepare for a dump.
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Cat has been off the last couple of weeks, and yesterday I picked him up and he was light enough and off enough that I called and got him into the vet this morning. He has advanced kidney disease. Neither Daughter nor I need another death to deal with right now. They are treating him with IV fluids over the weekend in the hope he will perk up. We may be able to bring him home on a special diet and keep him going for a while, but it's not good news. The special diet will be a challenge with Kitten around. I've always just had dry food and water available at all times. That will have to change.

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I talked to Case Manager several times this morning. She needed more concrete details for an investigation. We talked about how to approach Daughter on getting the truth. I shared my concern that Daughter doesn't know what's real right now. We talked about pulling Daughter out and setting up respite for the days Flasher is at the workshop. If we'll be moving soon, that will work. Maybe it can be temporary until Daughter is stable on the new drugs and can handle going back. Daughter's supervisor moved to a different program, so they have had 3 floating supervisors for her group. I told her I think Daughter needs consistency. She agreed. They're rethinking the floating system, but I asked that if they keep that, they move Daughter to a different group with a consistent supervisor. She thought that was a good idea and was going to deal with that today. We talked about the challenges involved with Daughter's struggles with reality and the long term implications of it. Not a pretty picture. CM was quite adamant that I cannot continue to live with this kind of stress.

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Sister told me this morning that I was like someone who has lived in a war zone for so long I'm no longer aware of it.

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Social Worker from the hospital called. Psychiatrist has discharged Daughter. I can pick her up this afternoon. SW mentioned again the need for an investigation. I told her about my conversation with CM about it. SW mentioned "paranoid" several times in relationship to Daughter. Apparently Psychiatrist had observed that. Now I'm paranoid, and feeling the need to look up paranoid schizophrenia and the symptoms.

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Daughter called, sounding down. She wanted to know about Cat. (I had decided it would be good to warn her last night that Cat was sick). I told her Cat is in the hospital and they are doing tests. Then she told me she got to come home, and her voice perked up. She said she'd slept well last night, and had come up with a plan and wanted to go back to the workshop 5 days a week. I asked her if she had a better idea of what was real now. She assured me she did. I asked her about the story about Flasher touching her. Without hesitation she said, "Oh, I made that up." I told her she needed to tell Psychiatrist that. She said it was too late, she'd already seen Psychiatrist.

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I called CM to tell her Daughter had acknowledged that wasn't real, so we didn't have to worry about an investigation. CM told me to make sure Psychiatrist was told about this. I will make sure Daughter tells someone at the hospital who can pass it on to Psychiatrist.

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I had been looking forward to a quiet weekend without Daughter around. So much for that dream. On the other hand, it will be wonderful to not have to keep running over to Big City to visit Daughter.

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Monday we'll know more about how Cat is responding to IV fluids and if he's able to eat. By the time I got him to the vet, he'd dropped from 9 lbs to 5.4 lbs. Monday afternoon Daughter sees Therapist. Tuesday afternoon we already had a meeting set up at the workshop to modify Daughter's service plan. I'm not going to send her back until we've had that meeting. That means I'm going to have to find things to keep her busy and structure her time over the next few days, or we'll both go crazy.

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Since Daughter is coming home, I need to lock things up again-- the medication, knives, etc. It was just this morning that I realized I could leave them unlocked for now.

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Now that I've dumped all of this, I need go go write a Wednesday evening worship service before I leave to get Daughter....