Light Bulb Moments

I took Daughter to see Psychiatrist this afternoon. Daughter told Psychiatrist that she needed to get back to the workshop full time because, "Mom doesn't like having me home."

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I was shocked and dismayed. "It's not that I don't like having you home. It's very difficult for me to work when you are at home."

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Psychiatrist then asked Daughter if she was needy and clingy when she was at home. Daughter acknowledged that this was the case.

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Psychiatrist told me she doesn't see this as a medication issue, but a developmental issue. She explained what she thought was going on to me while Daughter sat there shut down. When we got to the car, Daughter told me she didn't understand what Psychiatrist was talking about and it had bothered her. So I explained. I told her that Psychiatrist thought that part of Daughter wanted to move out and stand as an adult and live in a group home or supported living. There is also part of her that wants to stay with me and have me take care of her and keep her safe. Daughter immediately said, "Well she's right."

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I went on to explain that we had talked about how she needed to move into a group home, but we would wait until after we had moved and then after we'd been there about a year so she was comfortable with the area. I said, "Let's put it this way, you are going to turn 23 tomorrow. The whole time you are 23 you will be living with me. She clarified this a bit, and said, "That sounds real good." I could hear the relief in her voice.

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This morning when she came downstairs I had her breakfast and lunch ready and waiting for her so she could eat in the living room and I could supervise her while I was doing my exercises. I followed her into the kitchen to take care of her dirty dishes and put her linens in the washing machine. I was silent, but she was talking about how she was too old to be wetting the bed and it was embarrassing and she couldn't have friends over because of it.

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Do I think we're through this crisis? I am cautiously optimistic. I think at the very least she is thinking more clearly a little more connected with reality. I'm hoping she can return to the workshop full time next week.