Saying No

Wednesday night, when Daughter was at basketball skills practice, one of her former boyfriends wanted to start up again. This particular one is currently in trouble with the law for sexting his current girl friend's cousin, who is way under 18. She told him no, and reminded him he was with someone else. She called me yesterday at lunch time and was upset because Sexting was mad at her for reporting their conversation to his current (now former) girl friend. The story had expanded, and he had told her he was going to do anything he could to get her pregnant. I told her she had been right to tell him no and shifted her focus to her birthday celebration last night.

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This morning, as she was getting ready for her state tournament today, she told me she needed to tell me about something that had happened last night. Flasher had called her (using Nice Guy's cell phone) after she had gone to bed. He wanted to know how long he had to stay away from her and when they could get back together. She says she told him no, too. She also reported that another of her friends at the workshop is pregnant.

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I'm inclined to believe her. I'm pleased that she's been saying no. I'm concerned about the culture at the workshop and the current focus on couples, sex and pregnancy. The fact (if it is a fact) that she has turned down two overtures is an indication that she is getting stronger. She may be able to spend more time at the workshop. The pressure she is getting, though, is concerning. Will they wear her down? Even if she is setting good boundaries, it doesn't mean her friends will respect them. Many of them have issues beyond their developmental handicaps. They have a difficult time accepting and respecting boundaries. I will continue to do everything I can to strengthen Daughter, and hopefully she will continue to have the strength to say no.