"Congratulations, You Hurt Me."

Daughter called while I was in the nursing home visiting some folks. I'd left my cell phone in the car, so when I saw that she'd called me, I called her back (I'd missed the call by just a couple of minutes). She didn't answer, but she then called me back. "Why didn't you answer when I called?" She was obviously angry. I apologized and explained I forgot to take my phone with me when I went into the nursing home. She then goes into this long story about how she didn't feel good and she checked her blood sugar and it was 96 (normal) and did I really want her to ride the bus home. I told her she'd be fine on the bus, and asked if she had her supplies for a low. She forgot them at the gift shop and now she was at the workshop waiting for the next bus and they didn't have any of her crackers there. I had flash backs to a Friday evening in the ER. Since I was in Town, I decided to just go get her. I had one of the saints with me, so I don't think she was real pleased when she saw him and had to sit in the back seat.

.

We got home and talked about the possibility of going out to eat and to the concert in the park this evening. Then the realtor called. We were talking about the details of our house hunting trip this Sunday and Monday. Daughter began getting obnoxious, pointing at the time and clapping her fingers and stomping her feet in impatience. I finally got off the phone, and she announced she wanted to go to Town to eat and then pick up her prescriptions and come home (we'd tried to pick them up after I got her from the workshop, but the final 4 had just been called in). She informed me she had a headache and was not going to the concert. I said I wasn't keen on going to town just to eat. She demanded a movie. I said no. I finally decided we'd go ahead and go to town for supper and to pick up the prescriptions, but I decided against the pizza buffet. She was not happy with my choice.

.

When we got to the restaurant, I pointed to a sandwich I thought she'd like. It was relatively new on the menu, but I'd had it and enjoyed it. She wanted the most expensive item on the menu. I said no. She continued to pick arguments. We finally agreed on a meal she could have that wasn't too heavy on carbs. I tried to engage her in conversation, but her responses were all surly. I told her when she was ready to talk to me without whining or growling to let me know, and pulled out my smart phone to read the news. She quickly apologized.

.

As we finished our meal, she volunteered to walk to the pharmacy and start signing for the prescriptions. I agreed, and paid and waited for her. When we got home, she wanted to go for a walk. I told her she had to clean the litter boxes and empty the dishwasher first. She bargained to do the dishwasher after her walk, and I agreed. She went for walk, put away the clean dishes, and asked to turn on the TV.

.

"Is your room clean?"

.

"Yes it is."

.

"Will it pass my inspection?"

.

"It should."

.

"What about the bed?"

.

"It's been a long time since we've changed the sheets."

.

"They were clean yesterday."

.

"Are you sure?"

.

"Yes, I washed them because you wet the bed."

.

She started hemming and hawing about how they were damp because she sweat so much. I told her to go upstairs and check them. If they were wet because she was sweating, they should be dry by now. If she'd wet the bed, to bring them down and put them in the washing machine. She came down carrying a laundry basket. This morning she proudly reported she was dry and demanded .50 so she could buy something to drink at the gift shop. She told me she lied because she wanted something to drink today. After she put the laundry in the washing machine (it was almost bedtime, so there was no way to get them done for her to go to bed at a decent hour) she came back and asked if she could watch TV. I told her no.

.

That set her off, "Just because I told one little lie? Get over it! That's so unfair!" That was the beginning. I will leave out the more colorful language. I never raised my voice or said anything in anger I calmly pointed out the number of opportunities she'd had to tell the truth and had chosen to lie to me about her bed. I asked her to stop yelling at me. She grabbed her phone and prepared to take off. I demanded that she give me the phone. She told me I didn't deserve to have her, because I didn't know how to keep her safe. She accused me of all kinds of lovely things. She threatened to take a baseball bat to the car. I finally told her to go to her room, because I had a right to be safe from verbal abuse. She informed me verbal abuse didn't count, it wasn't real.

.

Finally, she stormed upstairs, grabbed a collage of family photos she had made for my birthday a couple of years ago. She came downstairs and threw it across my study floor, shattering the glass. I asked what she'd broken, "Something you don't deserve." Of course she followed it by calling me a choice name. She stormed back upstairs. I followed, but by the time I got there, I was crying. I told her to stay in her room. I couldn't take any more. She opened the door as I was heading back downstairs. I said, "Congratulations, you hurt me."

.

She came downstairs in pj's a minute ago and looked in to see what I was doing. I continued typing and didn't look up. She didn't speak, but returned upstairs. I'm going to have to get her her night time pills and insulin. I'll have to figure out a bedtime snack for her. Her linens are still in the washing machine. Right now, I don't want her anywhere near me.

.

Here's the scary part for me: If she takes off here in Tiny Village, I'm going to get concerned phone calls. We're going to be moving to Capital. What's going to happen when she pulls this kind of stuff there? How am I going to keep her safe? I have had difficulty sleeping the past 2 nights. Two more of the houses I liked are no longer available. It's still more than 3 weeks before I can begin to talk openly about the fact that I'm going to be moving. Hopefully I will sleep tonight, and will rediscover my joy and excitement by morning. Tonight, though, I'm just tired.