Compromise

Daughter told Therapist she wants to go back to the workshop. Therapist and I discussed it, and I suggested we tell her that if she is dry for 7 nights in a row, we'll begin discussing it. I see the bed wetting as her attempt to keep herself safe, and I don't think she's ready to return to the workshop if she's not feeling safe.
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We brought Daughter in, and we had the following conversation:
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"What's my number 1 priority?"
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"My safety."
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"I don't want you going back to the workshop until you are feeling safe. When you wet the bed, it tells me you don't feel safe. After you have been dry for 7 nights in a row, we'll begin to talk about what needs to happen for you to go back to the workshop."
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"Can we compromise?"
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"What's the compromise?"
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She began counting on her fingers, and then offered, "Let's make it 21 days. That will be three weeks. You have to check my bed, depends, and pj's every day to make sure I'm really dry."
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She has an interesting definition of compromise. Therapist and I discussed it. She's definitely telling us she doesn't feel safe and isn't ready to return to the workshop. She has been diligently working on her chores since she came home and is in a much better mood. Tomorrow she's going to make and decorate signs to post around the house reminding herself that her goal is to go back to the workshop. It will be interesting to see if this actually motivates her. I'm not going to hold my breath waiting. I will enjoy her cooperative attitude for as long as it lasts.