Abide

We're having communion tomorrow morning, and I have decided to abandon the lectionary for many of my remaining Sundays to share the things I think the congregation needs to hear to prepare them for the search for a new pastor. Tomorrow my sermon is called, "Abide," and is based on John 15:1-17. A portion of the passage reads:

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“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vine grower. 2 He removes every branch in me that bears no fruit. Every branch that bears fruit he prunes to make it bear more fruit. 3 You have already been cleansed by the word that I have spoken to you. 4 Abide in me as I abide in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it, neither can you unless you abide in me. 5 I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing."

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We don't use abide very often in our normal conversation, and I wasn't sure we truly understand what it means. I dusted off my dusty Greek references to do some research this year. Among the meanings are remain and wait. What jumped out at me was verse 4: "Abide in me as I abide in you." I found myself reflecting on the last 4 years as I've been waiting for a new call, trusting God knew what was best, but still frustrated at times. But what amazed me was the thought that God had waited on me and remained with me through even more frustrating times.

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Then I find myself thinking about Daughter with regards to this passage. Obviously, I am very frustrated with her right now. She wanted to talk this afternoon. She told me what I already knew. She was upset that I had someone in the car with me when I went to get her, and the conversation with the realtor bothered her. She's afraid of the move. I told her I understood that, and she needed to find other ways to deal with her feelings about this. I told her that no matter what the circumstances or feelings, she was in control of how she responded and her actions. I explained again that I had a right to live in safety, and while I would always love her, if she continued to be abusive to me, she would have to live somewhere else. I told her she'd still be my daughter, but she wouldn't be able to live here. I told her if I treated her the way she treated me, she would be removed from here for her safety and I would have charges filed against me. She sat silent for a long time. Finally she said, "I'm remembering. This isn't the first time I've verbally abused you. I should be gone now." I acknowledged it wasn't the first time, and told her I wasn't going to get rid of her or kick her out right now.

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I went to the laundry room and discovered that she had found a new place to hide clean clothes she didn't want to deal with. I told her to go get them and come sit beside me in the study and take care of them. She didn't like this, and muttered something about, "Don't make me explode." I ignored it, but have to admit I was concerned, wondering how far I dared to push her. She went and got the clothes, and came and sat on my floor. She moved them around for a few minutes, and then withdrew to her bedroom again to sleep.

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I'm very concerned about our house hunting expedition tomorrow. I'm not at all confident of her ability to handle it at this point. God abides with us. I need to abide with God. God will get me through.