So after a good day yesterday, Daughter is having a terrible day today. I invited the three women who are coming to experience worship here tomorrow to join us for brunch following worship. Daughter had promised to help me with the preparations. I let her sleep in this morning, and when she came down she was relatively chipper. I figured out a different breakfast that she wanted. I had begun working on making quiche. She wanted to know if she could help in the kitchen, and I told her she could. She asked about music, and I told her that was a good idea, so she vanished to start some music to energize us for the work.
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Then she vanished into the bathroom, where she complained of some intestinal misery. When she came out, I told her she needed to go wash her hands, and to fill the soap container in the bathroom. I knew it was empty because I'd had to wash my hands in the kitchen after using the back porch bathroom. She insisted she had washed them with soap. I assured her I knew she couldn't have. She finally went out and added a little soap to the dispenser. I asked her to fill it up completely. That set her off.
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She stopped the music and stormed off, announcing she was done. I told her that was fine, but she wasn't to get on the computer. I expected her to come back relatively quickly, as she often does. Nope. I went investigating. She was on the computer. I confiscated the computer. She went upstairs and packed and announced she was leaving. This has become complicated by the fact that she now has a boyfriend with a car, and because the last time she left she actually walked 1 1/2 miles out of Tiny Village and I had to go get her. I informed her she wasn't leaving. She didn't have to help, but I didn't have time to go chasing her down, and I didn't need the stress of worrying about her. She informed me she is 23 years old and it's none of my business where she goes or what she does.
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She has spent the rest of the day pouting. She has informed me she will kick the women out if they try to come here tomorrow. I have spent the day listening to podcasts and cooking. I've made quiche lorraine, spinach quiche, tortellini salad, tuna salad, broccoli salad, and whole wheat muffins. I'm on my third load of laundry. Now I have to go get the dining room ready. Converting the table from a conference table to a dining table will involve removing some leaves, which will be a challenge without Daughter. I've given up on the thought that she will be able to turn it around. My mistake was in thinking that eventually she would pull it together and help me.
4 comments:
She thinking about sabotage because she's scared about moving. Have you considered respite for her tomorrow?...meaning she goes somewhere while you have brunch with the church ladies? Wish you were closer...you could bring her here.
I know-- we've talked about it. Right now she's refusing to talk. Two reasons for not arranging respite:
1. It's too late to set it up.
2. She'd be so anxious she'd be calling me every 5 minutes with made up crises.
It would be nice if you were closer-- and not just for respite!
Have you talked to your DD about why she;s not able to have the same freedoms as other young women her age?
Also, I wonder if it would help if you talked to the local law enforcement people about her tendency to run away and her mental/emotional challenges? That way, if she was ever involved in an "incident" involving the police they'd know why she was reacting in an unusual way and not suspect her of being on drugs.
We've talked about what she needs to do to have more freedom. I've given her a chart so she has a visual reminder. Most of the time she understands, but when she gets into these moods, she forgets all of that and I'm holding her back.
Good idea about talking to law enforcement. I've been living in anticipation of a move for so long that I haven't done the things I need to do if we're going to be here long term. I'll talk to Therapist about it tomorrow.
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