I bought some special snacks for in the motel this weekend. I went into the kitchen, and the box was missing. Gone was the calm, cool, collected mom who never yells. I stormed upstairs and demanded the box back. I asked how many packages she'd eaten. She didn't know. I demanded the wrappers. 4 were hidden under her pillow. 80 grams of carb. More than she should have in a meal, let alone a bedtime snack she's not covering with insulin. I dragged her downstairs and gave her some insulin. I yelled about the thanks I get for buying her a treat. I told her to make her bed properly (she's back to wetting the bed every night). Her response wasn't very polite.
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I came into the study, still fuming, and packed 3 boxes. Two boxes of books, and one big box of art and trinkets that required bubble wrapping each item. I think I used up the adrenalin. It's time to go to bed. I've been sleeping with the windows open the last few nights, but when we came home this evening the air was thick with the fresh country scent of manure freshly spread on some farmer's field, so I may have to stick with the AC tonight.
7 comments:
Does she actually think she's going to get over on you again, or is she doing it to garner your full and complete attention?
I know she has some cognitive deficits, but at some point it seems like she would realize you're going to notice a whole box of treats gone.
Can you put anything that she's not supposed to get into a lockable box, like a trunk? It's not a permanent solution, of course, but it would cut it down.
Maybe you should have her sleep in the bathtub, since she refuses to stay dry. :(
I don't know what she's thinking. Sometimes I think she's testing to see if I'm paying attention and will keep her safe from herself.
Locking things up: I have the weekly pills in a lock box. The insulin is in a different lock box in the refrigerator. Medication and my stash of chocolate are locked up in a file cabinet. There are alarms on all the pantry doors. The knives (and the keys to the lock boxes and the file cabinet) are in a lock box with a combination lock. The snacks were in a bag on a kitchen chair. I really didn't think she'd be so bold as to take the box out of there-- it was pretty blatant.
When we move, there will be a lock on the pantry and on the refrigerator.
There have been parents charged with abuse for making their kids sleep in the bathtub. I understand the frustration that drives them to that solution. I really do.
I'm sorry you had a rough night. Your DD is quite clever about getting to forbidden items. You could turn your home into Fort Knox and she's still find a way to get past the security measures. Meanwhile, it's your home, not a maximum security prison.
I hope you can get better services for your DD at your new home. It would be wonderful if you had a trustworthy respite provider. one who understood your DD's medical condition and knew how to monitor her insulin. It would be even more wonderful if you could get her a PCA and it would be miraculous if there were a group home where she could feel as if she had the freedoms a young woman her age wants along with the supervision that she needs.
I've been paying for you both all along and I'll continue to do so.
PRAYING! I've been praying, not paying, although who knows? You might prefer the latter.
Miz Kizzle,
I have often thought that all I'm teaching her by tightening up is how to be sneakier. Not exactly what I had in mind. Thank you for the prayers. The move is hard for both of us, and unfortunately the whole process is very slow....
:( My oldest has ODD, and it's just maddeningly frustrating on some days. I'm not sure what the solution is, but locking everything up just isn't possible. I took a look around my house, and there's a million things to get into that could harm someone really looking to hurt themselves.
I'm sorry.
Kristin,
For the most part I recognize that I lock things up for my sake. I am less stressed if I know that some things are locked up and she can't get at them. For years I resisted locking anything up, but Therapist and I finally realized that locking things up was more for me than for Daughter. She likes the fact things are locked up. It helps her feel safe. She knows I'm serious about keeping her safe-- even from herself.
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