Thursday, August 5, 2010

The Deep Hole

Daughter is back in the deep hole. She spent most of the time she was home yesterday sleeping. Nice Guy had called and wanted to pick her up to go swim and play basketball at the Y with some of his friends. The last time Daughter was in a car with NG, he wouldn't let her use her cell phone and wanted to go to the court house to get married. So I wouldn't let her go. I told her I'd take her to the concert in the park Friday, and she could hang out with him there, but she wasn't going to get in a car with him. She was furious, of course.


I also pointed out she owes me $20. She took the plastic I had wrapped around her mattress of and threw it away. Since I spent $20 on it, she gets to pay me back. It's hard to earn money when all you do is sleep. The gift shop is closed today for a staff inservice, so it could be a very long day. She apologized this morning, but has not expressed any desire to be productive. Secretary and I will be in the office this morning, and she can't be home alone, so she'll probably sit there and pout. This afternoon I have some more nursing home visits to make, and I'm sure she'll be frustrated with that, as well.


I informed her this morning that until she begins to work off that $20, she shouldn't expect me to do her any favors. Last night when I finally insisted that she come downstairs and get her insulin, pills, and bedtime snack, I pointed out that she could refuse to do anything around the house, but I still had to work and take care of her. I wasn't real happy when I went into the kitchen and discovered she hadn't even taken care of her supper dishes.


I know and understand that she's scared about the move. We've been talking about it and she knows things she can do to help make it easier. She has big plans for a scrap book about the move. Her stress, though, does not give her the right to refuse to do any work. It will be interesting to see if she's able to turn it around to day. I suspect it will be a challenge for her given the disruption in her routine, but we'll see. She wants me to make her an appointment with the dentist, but has refused to brush her teeth since Sunday. I told her I didn't see why I should make the time to get her to the dentist when she refuses to do the minimum amount of oral hygiene. That resulted in some not so nice language coming my way. It could be a very long day.


Anonymous said...

That really stinks. Do social stories work with your DD? She's talking about making a scrapbook so maybe visuals outline what she needs to do every day to help with the move would make an impact on her.
I'm very surprised that she is willing to hang out with NG. He could be charged with attempted kidnapping for what he did to her and she's not angry with him? Do you have a good rapport with his parents? Maybe they should know about the way he's treating DD.
Could they just show up at town hall and get married instantly. Wouldn't they need proof of I.D., blood work, etc? I'm just amazed that these young guys are so obsessed with getting married. Would it give them additional assistance payments or something?

Reverend Mom said...

I do need to post a schedule for her, but right now she's so ODD, I'm not sure it would do anything but give her one more thing to rebel against.

NG's mom and case manager are concerned about his behavior lately. Apparently he took himself off of his meds. He had an appointment with psychiatrist last week, but I'm not sure what happened.

I don't know what they'd need to do to get married. They don't know. They aren't thinking things through. My understanding is that their SSI would be reduced if they got married, but they aren't rational, so they wouldn't care. We need to move.

Miz Kizzle said...

It's never a good idea to suddenly stop taking meds. That explains a few things about NG's behavior. We had a guy who went to our church who claimed to be bipolar. I suspect he had even greater issues but whenever he decided he was "too smart" to take his meds he'd get into trouble. Shoplifting, gambling, spending money he didn't have, and so on. Suddenly deciding to get married was something else he did a few times. One of his fiancees was a homeless crack addict with a baby. My hubby and I helped clean up his house after she left and the mess was absolutely stomach-wrenching. During the cleanup, when I was on my hands and knees scrubbing filth off his kitchen floor, he stood over me and lectured about how HE could have been a lawyer like my hubby and me but he was "too smart."
Maybe he had a point there because he didn't lift a finger while five members of the congregation cleaned his house prior to him putting it on the market. He's now in some sort of assisted living situation after being arrested for threatening a police officer. Very sad. But that's untreated mental illness for you.