Holy Week

I saw a cartoon today, posted by a colleague on facebook. The first panel, titled "Easter morning," has a minister standing in front of the congregation proclaiming, "The Lord is risen!" In the second panel, titled "Easter afternoon," the pastor is sitting in an easy chair looking dazed. The spouse proclaims, "The clergy is dead."
.
This year didn't leave me that drained, though I am tired today. It was a very good week. Worship was intense, and very well received. Because I was organized and got things prepared early, I didn't have to do any preparation Saturday. I spent the day working in the yard and on my raised garden beds and even took Daughter to a movie Saturday evening.
.
It feels like I've settled in and things are clicking at the church. A number of people have thanked me for our worship during Lent and Holy Week. A woman who asked to be removed from membership (she doesn't like women clergy) was in worship Maundy Thursday. Someone said that the skeptics who voted against my call should come see the church now. We had a number of visitors yesterday, and I anticipate some of them returning. We have one family who was there for their third Sunday in a row. I said, "You're becoming part of the family!" The response was, "I hope so!" The number of children in worship continues to grow. People are counting on more children.
.
Several people referred to themes from yesterday's sermon today. We had a meeting tonight and were talking about plans for the April 29th worship service, when I will be on retreat. The focus will be on mission and promoting some of our mission work. I said they could leave out the prayer of confession for that week. Several people said they wanted it to stay in. When I arrived, there wasn't a prayer of confession in worship, and there was some reluctance about adding one. Now, they don't want to skip it for one Sunday.
.
Someone said something semi-negative at a meeting tonight, and someone reminded them that I would call it "an opportunity." They stopped grumbling. There is an energy in the congregation now, and a willingness to take risks and try new things. When I arrived, the congregation was still recovering from a pastor who had not been a good match for their needs. They'd lost over half of their membership in less than 10 years.
.
I feel so comfortable here, and truly consider myself blessed to be here. I have reached a point where I have to acknowledge I can't finished my raised garden beds alone. I have a number of willing volunteers coming to help me with the final install tomorrow afternoon. I feel like this is the ministry God has been preparing me for all my career. I know there will be challenges ahead, and I know that with God's guidance we will make it through them and continue to grow in ministry. God is good.
.
Tomorrow I hope to find time to reflect on my weekend with Daughter.

It's Good

Worship went very well this weekend. Daughter did extremely well during her tie at home. I'm tired today, but that's too be expected. The week after Easter most clergy are exhausted, and many take time off.
.
It feels like we turned some important corners this weekend. I will reflect on them here, but it will have to wait. I have two meetings this evening. This is a week of meetings, with at least one every day but Friday (including an all day meeting Saturday). At least I'm beginning to see the direction of this Sunday's sermon. I liked having everything done early last week, and am determined to do that on a weekly basis.
.
I'll have lots more to post, hopefully this evening.

Holy Week and the Garden

We've been working ahead in the office, so even with extra worship services for Maundy Thursday and Good Friday, we're fairly relaxed. The property guys got the blade installed on my saw today. They struggled with it, and it took two of them to do it, so I felt better about my inability to figure it out.
.
I came home and did some more work on my raised garden beds. I cut the wood for the second bed, and then I painted. The wood I cut last night got a second coat, and the wood I cut today got a first coat. I also did some cleaning in the garage so I had a better set-up to work. It's pretty amazing to me that I have the time to do this stuff during Holy Week. It feels good to be so far ahead. Administrative Assistant was actually working on the bulletin for the 15th today, which is probably good. That week I have a day and a half out of the office and a bunch of meetings.
.
Daughter claims she's depressed. She called sobbing tonight. She wanted me to come beat up the staff. They had asked her to use an alcohol swab to clean her skin before she injected her insulin. I finally got her calmed down and reminded her she'd be with me the next 3 nights. My hope is that she'll miss her friends while she's here and want to go back. Maybe that will help her settle in.

Adventures in Construction

Yesterday I decided to go to the home improvement store and buy supplies to make raised garden beds. I had set aside the Christmas money from the church for this and had begun planning them last summer. I had found instructions for building them complete with a supply list on line. One of the home improvement stores had the wood I needed on sale, so off I went. When I arrived at the lumber area, discovered the board I needed were up the steps in a loft area above the other wood. I went up and pulled out 12 8' 1" x 6" boards. I picked up 2 and headed for the steps. The steps were open metal grates. I don't do well on steps. I hate steps I can see through. I pondered the 2 boards in my hand. I went and put them back and went in search of an employee. I confessed to the two guys I found that I was a wimp and wasn't comfortable carrying the wood down the steps. They readily retrieved them for me. The one young man informed me, "I don't think you're a wimp, I think you're smart." I liked him.
.
I had to put the back seats down, but I managed (with more help) to get everything into my car. By the time I got home I had numerous splinters in my hands, so I put on my leather garden gloves to take the wood out of the car.
.
I had purchased a tool kit some time back that came with a cordless drill, work light, circular saw, and two rechargeable batteries. I had never had reason to use the saw, so I brought it and the blade for it into the house to figure out how to put the blade on. I looked in the manual and on-line. I discovered that I wasn't the only one who had trouble with the attached allen wrench moving the entire mechanism, not just the bolt. I also found that there isn't a lock on this saw. The manufacturer recommends putting the blade on scrap wood to hold it still when installing and removing it. They don't say what to do when you can't get the blade on.
.
Tonight on the way home I stopped at the super store. I bought an old fashioned saw. I came home and cut one of the 3 4 x 4's into 5 pieces, and cut two of the boards in half. Then I painted the outside of everything I'd cut. I still have paint left from the privacy fence I painted last summer. Tomorrow the property guys are gathering at the church. I think I'll ask them to figure out my saw for me. They like a good challenge.
.
Holy Week is going relatively well. Maundy Thursday is done, including the sermon. Bulletins are done for Good Friday and Easter Sunday. I have an outline for Sunday's sermon. Good Friday still needs a bit of work, but it should be relatively easy. Today Administrative Assistant and I worked on the brochure for the day camp we're hosting this summer. The coordinator wants to put the brochure in the Easter bulletin. We rewrote most of what she'd given us, and I think she'll like what we've done with it. I hope so, anyway.
.
I continue to hear positive comments about Sunday. One woman pointed out yesterday how subdued everyone was after worship. I saw a number of people in tears. One man commented to a woman that he'd always known the story of the Passion, but never in that way. I thought the same thing. We always look at the Passion story from the perspective of the resurrection. Looking at it from the perspective of that time without the confidence of the resurrection made the whole thing much more powerful. I've written lots of drama for worship-- but always from the perspective of today. This really did help me experience it in an entirely new way.
.
Daughter informed me last night she was depressed and needed to come home. I told her she was home. She didn't appreciate that answer. This evening she's happier, an is in a better mood. I told her about what I did tonight, and she wanted to know if I still had all my fingers. We had the usual discussion about men's work vs. women's work. Sometimes I think living in the time warp of Tiny Village for 14 years did permanent damage to her.
.
Now I'm off to figure out the noon prayer service for tomorrow. AA and I were congratulating ourselves for being in good shape, and then I realized I hadn't done the prayer service yet. Oops.

Palm Sunday

Today was Palm Sunday, and in worship we did the You Are There program that so many people have invested so many hours in. Attendance was good-- up 15% from last week, and up 30% from last year's average attendance. The congregation expressed great appreciation for the program, and a number were in tears from the power of the story. We are very blessed to have such talented and dedicated people in the congregation.
.
Sister and Short Niece came for worship. We went out to eat after the service, and they took Daughter home while I went back to the church for a meeting. Short Niece went down for Sunday School, and she came up and told her mom she wants to come here every Sunday. Sister pointed out it is a long drive for every Sunday.
.
The service went very smoothly this morning. I am relieved that it is over. One of the members came up to me following the service, "Someone told me you wrote that."
.
I acknowledged I had. He said, "I was sitting there thinking this is pretty good for canned program, but if you wrote it, wow, it's really good!" I thanked him. I love doing this kind of thing. I loved telling the story from the perspective of the moment. I have done lots of first person things, but it has always been from the perspective of today. To write about what the disciples and the women were thinking and feeling at the time it was happening, prior to the resurrection, was different. It seems that some of the power I was experiencing as I wrote the story was received by those who attended. I'm glad. Very glad.
.
I also realized that some of our newer members don't come from a church background. It is very possible that this was the first time they heard the whole Passion story at once. I find new meaning in it every year. I hope they experienced some of that meaning. I'm exhausted, so excuse misspelled and misused words. I've caught several mistakes as I've been writing, but I'm sure I missed some, too.

Progress

Daughter's phone calls yesterday evening were really good news.
.
In the first one she was happy because she was with one of her favorite staff members. This staff member was someone Daughter has complained about repeatedly and said should be fired and wasn't competent.
.
In the second one she was content because she'd had a fun evening just "hanging with my girls." She's often complained that the other residents are too loud and she can't handle it.
.
My suspicion (hope) is that she's getting her medication is consistently, and is more stable. If that is, indeed, the case, I think she'll be able to stay right where she is. That is very good news.

The New Option

I visited the new place today. There are two women who live there. The care coordinator is experienced and knowledgeable. The owner started the home for a relative-- her grandmother who has Alzheimer's. The other resident is in her 50's.
.
I like the staff. I like the idea of a small house. I don't think it would work for Daughter. Sigh.

Starting Again

I'm going to look at a new home for Daughter. It's a smaller home, and I'm hoping it will be a better place for her. This week has been challenging for her.
.
Monday night one of the residents freaked out and attacked another resident, scratching her enough that they took her to urgent care. Daughter was obviously distressed by that.
.
Tuesday night they gave all the residents cookies with supper. They even gave the other diabetic in the house a sugar free cookie. They told Daughter she couldn't have one because it wasn't on her diet.
.
I had a board meeting Monday night, which was excellent. We've been working on newsletter, Holy Week bulletins, and tweaking stuff for this Sunday's big event. Last night Administrative Assistant had trouble sleeping because she was thinking of everything that needed to be done. I had nightmares about Good Friday. We're hosting the community Good Friday service this year, which means coordinating with five other pastors from very different traditions. I led the last Bible study for Lent tonight. I have finished all my information for all the bulletins through Easter. I proof read the newsletter this evening before the Bible study. AA has all the information, all she needs to do is plug it in to the Good Friday and Easter Sunday bulletins.
.
I suggested that next year we move Easter so it's not around newsletter time. AA looked it up. Holy Week will also be newsletter week next year. Of course, that might make it easier. We work ahead, so Holy Week will actually be easier for us than this week.

Passive Aggressive

One of our volunteers created a photo montage for next week's You Are There service. She began with a title slide. I didn't like the title, and I wanted it to start right in with the pictures, so I asked her to remove it. She wasn't happy, but agreed. Today we used the finished product to promote next Sunday's service. Not only was there a title slide, there was a misspelled word. I told Administrative Assistant she needed to talk me down and convince me it didn't matter. Unfortunately, she was just as frustrated with it as I was. We both tend to be perfectionists.
.
We had a rehearsal following worship. I'd promised Daughter a birthday dinner at her favorite fancy Italian place. I told her that if she complained during the rehearsal, we'd go to the Italian fast food place. She was super cooperative. She interpreted my order not to complain as an order not to talk. One of the men kept trying to get her to talk, but she resisted. We had a pleasant meal at the restaurant. She loves the keyboard I bought her for her birthday. I took her home and helped her set it up in her room. She was happy when I left her, and I haven't heard from her since.
.
I mowed the lawn when I got home-- first time I've had to mow in March.

It Gets Worst

At bedtime Daughter gets her long-acting insulin and a snack. Last night they didn't give her either. Daughter says she told them several times she needed the insulin, and they ignored her. I just want to cry. I will write another email. I will contact the case manager. I want to see the state licensing report. If Daughter didn't understand her meds and speak up, I think they'd kill her. They still might.

.

She's home with me tonight. We had fun bowling with the church. She panicked after the bowling, thinking she'd left her monitor at the bowling alley. While she was in searching for it, I found it in her bowling bag. She has a very low tolerance for frustration today.

.

This morning they were planning to bring the women to a rec center near our home. Daughter was very excited, and I was going to pick her up there. For some reason they changed their plans. I don't think it is fair to tell the women they are going some place and then change the plans. I'm sure Daughter wasn't the only one who was upset by it.

.

I'm discouraged tonight.

Listening Skills

Daughter says staff at her home doesn't listen. I decided to take her for pizza tonight with Sister Best Friend and her husband. Not because Daughter deserved it, but because I wanted to be with her some extra time this weekend in honor of her birthday. When I stopped by the house to get her, I said I needed her supper an 7:00 pills. They tried to hand me the big washtub of pills. I informed them we were going to a restaurant, and I wasn't taking that with me. I just wanted the pills for supper and 7:00. So they offered me a rubber band to wrap around the cards of pills. I said I wasn't going to carry all her pills into a restaurant and began to punch the needed pills out and onto the table. I said I wanted a little baggie to put them in. They offered me a grocery bag. I asked whether one of her pills was given at 7:00 or 8:00. She said 8:00, but they usually gave the 7:00 and 8:00 pills together. I said that was fine, I'd take the 8:00 pills and give them to her.
.
I dropped Daughter off back at the house at about 7:15. She called shortly after I left, asking if I remembered whether I'd given her one of the pills she takes at 8:00. I named the pill, and she said that was the one. I assured her I'd given it to her. A little later staff calls, wondering if I'd taken the 8:00 pills and given them to her. I think Daughter may have a point about their listening abilities.

Birthday Slump

Daughter turns 25 on Monday. She's into her birthday slump. Se was mad because she didn't want taco salad for supper. She wanted me to take her out for ice cream instead. I had forgotten to get cat food when I stopped by the store to get things for the taco salad, so we stopped on the way to choir to get the cat food.
.
I was trying to get home quickly after choir to watch a basketball game when Daughter announced they are going on a special outing tomorrow and she can't take anything that needs to be heated up for lunch. Normally I pull a meal I've made out of the freezer for her. I didn't have things at home to make a sandwich. I don't eat many sandwiches. I decided to stop and get a foot long sub. There's a store in our grocery store. I left Daughter in the car while I ran in. I got the toppings I like rather than the ones she likes. When I came back out she was furious because she'd have to pick off green peppers and I didn't get mayo on it. I suggested she should be grateful for the sandwich. She demanded I take her home immediately. I turned on the game and ignored her. Eventually, she apologized.
.
I had pondered having her here all weekend. Not going to happen now. I'll have her here Saturday night so we can go bowling with the church, but Friday night will be for me. I bought her the keyboard she's been wanting for her birthday. We'll celebrate it on Sunday, since I have a board meeting on Monday.

Retreat

Last night I had an overnight retreat with my peer group. We gathered at 7:00 p.m. last night, and I was back in the office by 1:30 today. It was a short time that was full of wonderful gifts. I became very much aware of the fact that I need to find balance in my life. We had almost an hour today for private reflection. I have joked about that if something isn't in the 2 miles between my church and the house, I haven't been there. Today I realized that rather than a joke, it should be a lament.
.
I am missing out on so much. There are things to see and do that I never experience in this area because I'm so focused on ministry. As I began to think about the need to change, my thought was, "so I can be a better pastor." If the goal of my time away from the church is to strengthen my work at the church, is it really time away?
.
I argue with myself-- Christ doesn't talk about the importance of finding balance in our lives. He tells us to lose our lives. What I realized during my brief retreat is that I need to spend some time reflecting on priorities. I need to spend some more time reflecting on my life and ministry and discerning what it is God wants me to do. I'm going to be on a retreat at the end of April, and I know now what the focus of that retreat will be. I'm already beginning to pull out some of the resources I'll want to take with me.
.
For now, I'm going to make sure I get time outside taking advantage of this beautiful weather we continue to have. I'm going to spend time celebrating God's good creation. I'm going to give thanks for my peer group, and the way they challenge me to become a better me.

Joy and Drama

First, the joy. When I came here, I kept hearing about Beloved Founding Pastor. BFP still cast a long shadow, and his shadow was part of the reason my predecessor failed. I spent some time trying to figure out how we could celebrate his ministry and move beyond it, but hadn't come up with anything. Then I got busy with other things and forgot about it. Yesterday one of the leaders was in my study. We were discussing another leader who had gone from opposing any change to asking for more. As we were talking, I realized I hadn't heard BFP mentioned in months. I said as much to this leader, who didn't even know who I was talking about at first. I'm not worried about figuring out how to celebrate his ministry so we can move beyond it anymore.
.
Some months back a member had informed me he was making a new lectern for me in memory of his mother-in-law. A week or so later another member mentioned he was making one. When we told him of the first member's plans, he was disappointed. I suggested we could use his downstairs. Last week Administrative Assistant and I were talking about how it would be nice to have a stand for the guest book at memorial services. Then the man who had been disappointed mentioned his project. I suggested it could become a guest book register. He was delighted. Last night I sat in a meeting and we were discussing how to better track visitors. Someone suggested we get a guest book. I said we had a stand for guest books being made.
.
I have had several conversations with Disgruntled Member who was quite concerned about the direction of the church and its health. DM was telling me we needed a new vision. I agreed, but suggested that it would take some time to build a relationship of trust that would enable me to lead an effective visioning process, especially since the congregation had two recent failed attempts to develop one. I explained that we were setting priorities for the year until we could write a vision statement. He was not satisfied. Yesterday DM had coffee with Treasurer. Today Treasurer reported that DM was very pleased with the annual meeting Sunday. He thought it was very informative. Treasurer was delighted to report, "and there weren't any buts."
.
I'm grateful for all the joy, because it diverts me from the drama. Daughter is very manic according to Program Manager. I told PM it was her turn to complain about the med issues, so she did. Yesterday Daughter "forgot" her meter, and the house staff had to bring her back to her program to get it. I told PM I thought that since staff was inconveniencing Daughter by forgetting her meds, Daughter is inconveniencing them by forgetting things. I get the reports, but I'm not engaging. I'm encouraging and reassuring Daughter, but not rescuing her. I'm grateful the drama is taking place away from me. Very grateful.

Sermons

Every Sunday I get up and preach, wondering whether my message is making a difference. It can be discouraging at time, because it's hard to gauge how the message is being received. Today I received a gift. A woman came into my study and told me that yesterday's message had led to her hearing the voice of God calling her in a new direction in her life. It's going to be challenging for her and her family. God's call always stretches us. As she told me about it, wondering if it was real and telling me how she'd questioned it, I became convinced that it was real. It's exciting and scary and will stretch her. I'm looking forward to watching her follow the call.
.
The really exciting part is that she felt a call that will not only impact her and her family, it will touch the lives of many people who desperately need the ministry she will offer. It's nice to know that God does indeed use my efforts to make a difference.

Quite a Day!

My friends from Tiny Village were in worship this morning. It was great to see them, and I enjoyed showing them around and introducing them to people. Following worship we had our annual meeting. We totally changed the format this year. Instead of receiving a written report, we had leaders stand up and talk about the accomplishments of the past year and highlight the goals for the coming year. We made use of the PowerPoint, too. Several people told me how much they looked the new format following the meeting.
.
We then had a fellowship meal and drew names for the quilt raffle. It was hilarious. One of the women announced that they were having someone new draw this time, as the person who had been doing the drawing drew her own name. So the new drawer announced that her name was not in the basket-- and promptly drew her husband's name. That was good for a laugh. I won the second quilt, a bright, beautiful butterfly quilt that will go well in Daughter's bright bedroom here. I hadn't purchased any linens to go with her bright paint selections. Now I'll need to get some fabric and make some curtains for her room.
.
After the fellowship meal and raffle drawing, we began work on our Palm Sunday plans. I was blown away by the quality of the acting. We had backdrops and props, and I was amazed at how good everything looked and sounded. When people finished taping their parts, they stayed to cheer on the others. Worship began at 10:00, and it was after 2:30 before we were done. The comment as we were leaving? "That was fun!"
.
They were very patient as I rewrote some of their parts. I'd hear things when they read them that I hadn't noticed before. It was really hard to get the verb tenses right. I hope we caught them all. People were good natured as we had them switch costumes after we realized that what they were wearing was too close to the colors in the backdrop. We had that happen twice.
.
Fortunately, I'd recruited someone to cover the nursing home service so we made the 95 mile drive to Brother's house, arriving about 5:00. Brother made fajitas on the grill, which were wonderful. Baby Nephew was as charming as ever. He was the first one year old I've met who didn't like his birthday cake. He thought the frosting was okay, but wouldn't have anything to do with the chocolate cake, spitting it out when he was fed some. No cute pictures of him digging into his first birthday cake. He still is reluctant to walk on his own. At one point he was pushing a card table chair around the living room. He is talking some, and loves balls. I obliged by giving him one, because that's what aunts do.
.
Daughter did well today. She was patient through all the Palm Sunday work, telling me later that it was "phenomenal." She's spending the night here tonight, and I will drop her off at her program tomorrow morning. Next weekend I'll have her home Saturday. Her birthday is on Monday, and so we'll celebrate it this weekend.
.
I'm tired tonight. I won't be in a hurry to get into the church tomorrow. I think I can go in a little late....

Record Highs

We've had an amazing week with the weather. This is the 4th day in a row where the high has been a record. I've gotten out to work in the yard several days. Today I began with a walk through the woods with a friend and her dog. It was beautiful, with new growth sprouting up between the weeds. The green under the brown trees was quite a contrast.
.
I went to one of the super hardware stores this afternoon and visited their garden center. The garden center was busy, and they definitely weren't ready for the season to begin. I ended up going to two more to get what I wanted. I then came home and did quite a bit of work in the yard. There's still more to be done, of course, but I made good progress today. I've done a bunch of weeding but could have spent several more hours out there weeding. I bought a book, and am going to begin to plan out my vegetable gardens. I also bought some seeds and the equipment I need to start them indoors.
.
Each time I checked out there was the clerk predicted that we'd have snow. The forecast calls for several more record highs before the temperature drops back into the 30's and 40's next weekend. I now have two daffodils blooming in addition to some crocus. I may end up having to mow my lawn in March. That would be a first.
.
For now, I'm enjoying having the windows open and hearing the birds and the neighborhood children. I've been trying to focus on things other than Daughter today, but in the latest news, Daughter got up early this morning so she'd be ready to go get her blood drawn at 7:30. She called me sometime after 9:00, frustrated. They hadn't taken her yet. She was waiting. When she finally got there, she didn't need blood work, just a urine specimen. So they made her fast for no reason.
.
I've decided I'm going to have her spend the night here tomorrow night. It will save me having to take her home after the birthday party. I'll take her to her program on Monday. I'm still pondering what I'm going to try to address the ongoing issues.
.

Losing Control

Daughter called a little while ago. She clogged the toilet again. I told them she needs her miralax every night. They aren't giving it to her. She has blood work ordered for tomorrow. I have no idea why. She wasn't supposed to need blood work again until April. This will be the second extra blood draw.
.
I have worked hard to manage Daughter's health. I have had to struggle with the reality that I couldn't always protect her from herself or prevent her from eating things she shouldn't. I did know why she was having blood work, and was able to coordinate the orders from her various doctors. I suspect this is because Nurse has decided she must have thyroid issues. When she raised this concern, I informed her that Daughter had had her thyroid checked many times, and has even had an ultrasound of it. The results are always normal. I was ignored. Rather than worry about her thyroid, I'd like to see them make sure she get her medication as prescribed.
.
Oh, and staff has told her it's her job to keep one of the other women from going into the kitchen and eating in the morning, since she needs to have fasting blood work, too. She's upset about that, rightfully pointing out that that is staff's job, not hers. Of course, considering the way they have been doing their job, I suspect Daughter will do a better job of keeping the woman out of the kitchen.
.
I'm feeling depressed by all of this, which doesn't make sense. I've been walking daily this week, enjoying the record highs we've been experiencing. I've also been out working in the yard. The exercise and sunshine should be lifting my mood. I guess that the stress is taking a toll. I'm behind where I want to be on my worship preparations, and the ongoing issues at Daughter's house are taking a toll.
.
I'll get out and walk again tomorrow morning, and if the weather cooperates, I'll spend some more time working in the yard. I'll find other things on which I can focus. Sunday will be a good day, though busy. I actually managed to find someone to handle the nursing home worship service for me on Sunday. I'll only have to deal with worship, rehearsal/taping for Palm Sunday, and then the 90 minute drive to celebrate Baby Nephew's 1st birthday. Hopefully Daughter will be having a good day. I know she's looking forward to the birthday party.

Still

They're still making mistakes with Daughter's meds. We had a pleasant evening yesterday, but today she blew out at her program. I'm beginning to think I may have to bring her home. This is just so frustrating. She has so much potential, but without her meds on board, she can barely function, let alone reach for her goals. I'm not sure what the next steps are, but I'm going to have to figure it out soon.

A Blast from the Past

Today I received a call from #2 Daughter-in-law of my favorite nursing home couple in Tiny Village. Man had died last year, and the Woman had moved up here to be near #1 Son. She was in the hospital. I went to see her. She was so grateful to see me. The move here has not been a good one for her. I knew it wouldn't be, and the first time #1 Son had pushed it, #2 Son had asked me to speak to all of them about the pros and cons. I did, and they didn't move them. Woman indicated to me that she feels she is dying, and is ready. #1 Son is out of town, so I spent some time talking to #2 Son. I suggested they might want to begin looking into hospice. She has heart issues that are not going to be easily solved. She's almost 90, and she is ready for death. She asked me to come see her again. I will drop by the hospital again tomorrow afternoon.
.
#2 Son and his wife just might show up here for worship on Sunday. They lived far away, but I got to know them when they came to Tiny Village to visit family. Both of them grew up in that church. #2 Daughter-in-law's mother was diagnosed with cancer early in my ministry there. She chose not to undergo treatment, and lived for about a year. During that year her daughters took turns coming to spend time with her. I spent quite a bit of time with them then. Walking with families through life and death creates a deep bond. It was nice to see them again. I'm grateful they called, and that I was able to make the trip to the hospital. It was perfect timing, because I had to be back for the noon prayer service, which limited the time I had available and made it easy for me to leave. Woman is obviously weak, and couldn't talk much. She's still a wonderful woman with a deep faith. It was great to reconnect with her.

Spring

It has been a beautiful day today. I began the day by walking just over 2 miles with one of the saints and her 2 dogs. It was still dark when we began our walk at 7:00. After supper I went outside and did some work in the yard. I picked up sticks, pulled up weeds, and planted some of the bulbs that were sprouting in the garage that I never got planted last fall. My purple crocus are blooming.
.
I have a memorial service on Thursday. The woman's death was expected and yet unexpected. It was expected because she was old and had been getting frailer. It was unexpected because she had been into the church office Friday morning to fold bulletins and had sent Saturday with her Daughter. She was found dead in her home Sunday evening.
.
I met with her children today. We knew she was a private person, but it turns out that she was very private even with her children. She wouldn't tell them about her health, and wouldn't allow them to help. We had an interesting conversation, but they weren't able to give much information. That's okay. I'll still be able to pull something together.
.
Daughter is calling less frequently now, which I think is a very good thing.

Spring Fever

It was a beautiful day yesterday, so when I dropped Daughter off at her house, I suggested she spend some time outside. She reported later that she did just that-- spending all afternoon outside. She said she was "playing basketball and flirting." I guess I should be grateful it's taken this long for her to show an interest in the 12 men living next door. I'm wondering now if it was a good idea to encourage her to go outside....

Spring Ahead and Ministry

Every year, the switch to daylight savings time kicks me in the rear. I aim to leave at 7:00 on Sunday mornings to pick up Daughter. Worship isn't until 10:00, but I like to have some time at the church to tweak the sermon and finalize the PowerPoint before people begin arriving. Once people start coming, I am inundated with people who want a piece of me. This morning we had 3 baptisms (a 6 month old and a couple who are both over 80) and received 7 new members. That was generating questions, and then one of the saints wanted to talk to me about Palm/Passion Sunday. I told her it needed to wait until after worship-- one more thing and my brain would explode!
.
After worship, I met with the people who are involved in Palm/Passion Sunday. We are doing Stops on the Way to the Cross, focusing in on various events of Holy Week. A couple of weeks ago, I remembered the old series, "You Are There." It was a news show format reporting on events from history. I got the idea of approaching the service that way. We have about 8 people who are going to reporters and/or interviewed for the service. Some of the pieces will be on video, projected on our big screens. It will be like I am interviewing them live from a remote location. I'll have an anchor desk to use for the reporting, and will move away to lead the prayer and various other aspects of the service.
.
I was concerned that the message not be lost in the gimmicks. As I wrote the service, I found a whole new perspective. I've done first person things many times in the past, but always from the perspective of today. Writing it, I became aware I was viewing the story from a whole new perspective. I discovered new insights into familiar story. There was an immediacy there hadn't been before. I found myself viewing the familiar events in a new way with a deeper understanding and appreciation. We're going to have gimmicks, but I think when all is said and done it will be a wonderfully meaning worship service.
.
We met with our volunteers today, and will begin rehearsing and taping next Sunday. Everyone was on board with it. I had a really hard time getting the verb tenses right, and one of the men was suggesting changes to his part. I told him to go for it. I'm looking forward to it.
.
Between writing that script and figuring out the baptism and new members for today, last week was very word intensive. This week isn't looking much better. I have to figure out annual meeting (which we're doing differently this year), Maundy Thursday, and Good Friday. I'm hosting my colleagues for lunch on Tuesday, so I want to make some soup and cookies. I'd best adjust to daylight savings time quickly!

Reclaiming My Inner Klutz

This morning's walk was interrupted when I tripped over a tree root and fell. I saved my face, but hit my knee pretty hard. I'm sore and stiff, but don't have any major injuries. I'm grateful I have strong bones. It's amazing I've never broken anything all the times I've fallen.
.
After resting a minute, I was able to get up and walk back to the car. The walk wasn't as long as we'd planned, obviously. I haven't told Daughter, and hopefully I won't limp tomorrow. She is terrified that I'm going to fall and be seriously hurt.
.
I'm glad she isn't living here right now. I have more aches and pains these days, and she'd be hovering, wondering if I was okay. She picks up on everything.

A Day Off

Today, for the first time in several weeks, I took my day off. I met with my spiritual director, did some shopping, and did several things that had been hanging over my head. It has been a good day.
.
Program Manager thinks Daughter is very manic. Nurse is concerned and frustrated since they still aren't getting the meds right. It is a problem. Here's the thing, though, I'm no longer getting as stressed about it.
.
Daughter and I had a pleasant evening here yesterday. I didn't take her to choir, so we sat and watched TV together. It was nice.

Slowed Down

It's been a busy week. Today intestinal issues slowed me down. I didn't go to the meeting 70 miles away this afternoon, and I'm not taking Daughter to choir tonight. Initially, I thought it was stress related. But the issues are moving up, and I skipped supper tonight. Administrative Assistant told me I wasn't myself-- just seemed sluggish today. Felt sluggish, too.
.
Daughter came home in a mood. I checked her pills, and she didn't get her evening pills on the 3rd and 4th. Pretty basic stuff. I'll send off another email. Sigh.

"Come Get Me Now!"

"Come get me now!" Daughter shouted at me when I answered her call yesterday evening.
.
"Why? What's wrong?"
.
"R is sick and she can't stop coughing and she's throwing up."
.
I explained that was one of the challenges with living as a group. I suggested she wash her hands frequently if she was concerned about getting sick, and turn on her music if she didn't want to hear.
.
I don't think that was the response she wanted.

"I Went Down LIke the Titanic"

Daughter called me yesterday evening. To say she wasn't happy with the new diabetes plan would be an understatement. She was furious. She wasn't going to do it. We were expecting too much. She had some colorful language thrown in there. I asked if she'd shared her feelings with House Manager (who told her about the plan) and she hadn't. I suggested that might be a good idea.
.
It took a while, but I convinced her this would be a good plan, and promised to talk to House Manager about someone working on it with her. She was calmer when she called back later in the evening.
.
This morning she described our conversation to House Manager, telling her, "I went down like the Titanic." She does have a wonderful imagination.
.
Super busy time at the church working on worship plans. We have some exciting things planned. Of course, exciting entails lots of extra work. I hope it will be worth it when we're done.

Monday Treat

On Monday I'm in the office alone, at least in theory. Usually I have a number of people drop by, either to do something or just to chat. Most Monday afternoons Financial Secretary comes by with her 2 1/2 year old son. She goes to the bank to complete the deposit, and then comes here to put the final accounting into the computer. Her son, B, is a tease. The carpet in my office is different from the carpet in the hall, and B would come and stand on the edge, looking at my carpet as though it were dangerous. He did this for several weeks, and the first time he came in he walked very carefully, as though he were in snow or sand.
.
I understand he looks in the parking lot for my car, and is disappointed if it's not here when they arrive. I have a candy jar that has sugar free candy and a few suckers for my younger visitors. He looks forward to getting a sucker from me. Today he came running in, sucking on the sucker he'd gotten at the bank. He ran around my desk and planted himself in front of me. Then he opened his mouth for me to take out the sucker. I obliged. He ran around my to the other side of my desk to receive his new sucker, which I dutifully handed him. When he had trouble unwrapping it, he came back around my desk for me to help him remove the paper.
.
He is so cute. He comes in for his sucker, but I'm the one who gets a treat on Monday.

A New Plan

I met with House Manager today. We created a chart that Daughter will fill out for each day. It lists the food, amount, and carbs, totals the carbs and calculates insulin. We are doing it to empower Daughter, but we recognize we will also be teaching staff and holding them accountable. The competent staff member is going to work some afternoons to figure out what's going on there and begin to deal with some issues.

Daughter was in a great mood today. Hopefully we've turned the corner on some of these issues. Hopefully....

Relief

The challenges with Daughter's home was really taking a toll on me. Now that she's doing better, I have energy to do things, like finishing a home improvement project, cleaning the kitchen and family room, doing laundry, paying bills, etc.
.
It feels good to be getting things done. It's wonderful to hear Daughter happy. I ordered her a keyboard for her birthday later this month. She has wanted one forever, but we have a piano and I told her she could play the real piano. She didn't like that. Now that she's moved out, she wants one. She took her piano books, but she says the piano at the house is out of tune and some of the keys don't work. She'll be happy. It makes my life easy. I've taken care of her birthday.
.
Baby Nephew is turning 1 this month. They've scheduled his birthday party. With Short Niece visiting her Dad every other weekend and my schedule, it was a challenge. It's going to begin at 4:00 on a Sunday afternoon. That particular Sunday I have worship, congregational meeting, fellowship meal, and then nursing home worship. I'll be late to the party. I think I'll need a good night's sleep the night before....

Sunday Snapshots

We got a little bit of snow last night, just enough to ice the roads and make them treacherous when I headed out to pick up Daughter at 7:00 this morning. She was not happy that I was late, and when I told her that I had almost decided against coming to get her, she was outraged. She has to be in church.
.
During the children's time, I was talking about how you prepare for a journey. One of the kids announced that they take tigers. The congregation loved it. This little boy has sensory integration issues, and he's had a hard time. He has made tremendous progress with therapy, and now comes up alone, sits still and pays attention through the children's time, and will look at me and answer questions. I was delighted by his answer, and referred to it during the adult sermon.
.
One of our elderly members wasn't there today. Another woman was concerned, because she missed an event Thursday evening, too. She called her and learned she was sick. She was taking her soup and juice and going to try to convince her to let her take her to urgent care. The sick woman wanted to wait to see her own doctor tomorrow. We will transport the sick woman to the doctor's office, and we also looked up her daughters' phone numbers (they live about 75 miles away) so we can call them if necessary.
.
Daughter reports that with a staff member observing she measured out her own breakfast and figured out her own meds this morning. She was quite proud.
.
We had a visitor in worship this morning. She told me my sermon was just what she needed as she gets ready to start a new job.
.
I took Daughter to a couple of different stores before I took her back. Because I'd procrastinated, everything was cheaper than it was when I decided I wanted to go these place to get these items.
.
Next Sunday we will receive new members. I will be baptizing a couple who have been married for 62 years. Neither one had ever been baptized. They have children and grandchildren who are planning to attend.
.
I realized I'd forgotten to ask the coffee hour people to do something special for the coffee hour next Sunday since we will have new members and a baptism. They were a step ahead of me and had already made plans.
.
Have I mentioned recently that I love my job?

Maybe

Maybe it really was the TV shows she was watching. Daughter has called once today. When she called early this afternoon, she really wasn't interested in talking to me. I think this is the first day my phone has been this silent.
.
It's weird, but nice. I hope she is settling in and feeling safe now. That's my hope.
.
I went for a walk this morning-- we couldn't go the full route, because the trail was under water. We also had to climb over several trees that had broken in the storm. Our damage was minor, compared to those who have been hit by the tornadoes. We will be praying for them tomorrow, and I am praying for them today.

I'm Impressed

Daughter called this evening, "I know what my problem is, and it doesn't have anything to do with staff or the girls." She went on to tell me that she's taken advantage of her freedom of having a TV in her room to watch a number of shows that I wouldn't let her watch here. "Including some that have to do with the things that happened to me. Why do they put those on TV?"
.
"So people can learn."
.
"To teach people how to do it!?!?"
.
I clarified, explaining that it was to help people understand the hurt it caused. I told her I was impressed and proud of her for figuring it out. I pointed out that now she knows what to do.
.
She may very well have been watching shows that triggered her PTSD. I hope she has learned from this. Once again I find myself wondering where she would be right now if she'd been with me since she was born....

Meeting Set

I will meet with House Manager Monday morning at 8:00 to figure out how we are going to empower Daughter. I set it up when I took Daughter back today. I told House Manager that I thought Daughter was getting some push back from the afternoon staff. Daughter claims her supper is not being measured. They had canned food for supper tonight-- canned lasagna and corn. She said it was gross. It sounds gross. I think there are real issues with the nutritional quality of the food that is being served there.
.
Daughter was complaining of constipation, so Dietitian decided she needs to drink more water. Everyone I have told that laughs, because I have tried for 22 years to get Daughter to drink. I explained to them that Daughter doesn't drink and doesn't poop because she doesn't want any sensation in the genital area. The result is that she's always borderline dehydrated and she's usually constipated. The dietitian thinks that if staff gives her a glass of sugar free drink and a glass of water at every meal, she will drink and never again be constipated. I suggested they put her back on her miralax. It would be wonderful if the after effects of child sexual abuse could be eliminated by putting water and sugar free drinks in front of her at her meals. Wait, maybe it will work! Why didn't I think of that!
.
Therapist has said she'll support the plan, but she doesn't think it will work. She doesn't think the staff will do their part. I'm afraid she may be right. We have to try, though.

The Response

Case Manager responded this morning to my suggestion we focus on empowering Daughter. She thought it was an excellent idea. She is going to talk to Home Manager, and we'll make a plan.
.
Daughter is working in the office right now with Administrative Assistant. She's in a very good place today. She even took initiative to go above and beyond when she was sent into the sanctuary to do something. She is happy, laughing, and in a good place. My stress level is much lower today-- even though I'm in the office on my day off. I was out of the office all day yesterday, so there is work that has to be done today, and it's okay.

Didn't See that Coming

I requested input from Therapist and Program Manager about moving Daughter. I got Therapist's assessment today. She recommends setting a deadline, and if care isn't where it should be by then, move Daughter back home and hire help.
.
I was at a seminar on family systems theory and ministry today, and I received the email about lunchtime. I sat there in shock, wondering what to do. As the afternoon progressed, I think I found my answer. I'm going to suggest we shift our focus. Rather than focusing on getting the home to do it all perfectly, we need to focus on equipping Daughter to take responsibility for her own care.
.
I will tell her this is a step forward in her move towards independence. I believe moving her home would be a huge step backwards and her rebellion would be even stronger. I've been telling her for some time she has a voice and can use it to keep herself safe. I'm going to tell her she's been doing such a good job with that she's ready to take it to the next level. It will be challenging, and it will be a move forward, not a move backward.

Discouraging

Last night I led a Bible study. We were talking about similarities and differences. We had a diverse group gathered. I know there were Republicans and Democrats there. As we talked, I asked, "Do you think this country can come together despite our differences?" The answer was quick and forceful, "NO!" Someone else added, "Not unless there's another 9-11."
.
I have been pondering that response since then. We were a diverse group, and as a congregation there is much we can agree on and we work together. One of the men had commented that he always finds out who is wife is voting for and then votes for the opposite candidate. I'm not surprised he doesn't share his wife's political views, which I see posted on facebook. They disagree, yet they have been married for a long time. They have raised two daughters. Bought, remodeled, and sold homes.
.
They have been able to disagree on politics and come together on life. They don't see one another as the enemy and evil. Sister found out one of the high school friend's who recently friended her on facebook has very different political views. "I think I'm going to have to unfriend her." I told her I didn't think that was necessary. Maybe she and her friend could learn from each other.
.
I'm discouraged with the quickness to label someone and dismiss them. We need to learn to talk to one another. More importantly, we need to learn to listen to one another and respect one another.
.
Okay. I'm stepping off the soap box. When you read a preacher's blog, occasionally you hear a sermon.
.

The Next Issue

Daughter claims they aren't following any menu for supper, and they just dump food on her plate. She claims she just eats what she should eat. I hope she's wrong. I think she's probably right. They are provided with a menu with nutrition information and such. But apparently they don't like to follow it....
.
She continues to sound manic. She'll be home with me tomorrow evening. Her program is closed Friday, so that will make life a little more interesting. I haven't decided what to do about Friday. I may go into the office for at least a while. I'm out of it all day tomorrow for a conference, and I'd like to have sermon and such done so I can relax an enjoy Saturday.

The Plan

Case Manager is going to begin to quietly look for a new place. It needs to be all women and able to handle diabetes. We will continue to work with the current home on improving their care.
.
Daughter is very volatile right now. I'm going to see about getting her some new head phones for her ipod that will block out noise and that others won't be able to hear. She desperately needs them for the self-soothing right now, and is catching some flack about how loud she has it.
.
I'm making some exciting plans for Holy Week right now. I'm glad to have good things going on that can be my focus.

Nothing Is Easy

Case Manager called today. There are no easy answers. I am now in an email conversation with Case Manager, her supervisor, and Residential Coordinator. Everyone acknowledges that there are real problems at the current placement. However, finding a home that can address Daughter's needs is going to be difficult.
.
Residential Coordinator actually suggested I bring her home and hire people to help with her care. There would be some funding available to help with that. No amount of money, though, would compensate for the stress and the extra work that hiring and supervising in-home care providers would create.
.
The best solution at this point is probably to get her on a waiting list for a home that is equipped to deal with her medical needs while trying to solve the problems at the current placement.
.
Daughter is becoming increasingly difficult. She doesn't feel safe, so she's trying to control everything and over reacting to any change in her routine. She complained because she went bowling today and she's not supposed to go bowling on Tuesdays. She likes to bowl. She just couldn't handle the change today. I don't think this is all medication related, I think it is her reaction to the chaos and insecurity at the house.
.
I will pray and trust that the right answer will become evident, hopefully soon.

Incredibly Stupid

Daughter called last night very happy. She was pleased with the picture menu they had made for her lunch. She said it was on the refrigerator door. She saw it as a sign that they were going to get things fixed. It worked, sort of. The lunches are supposed to be made by the afternoon shift and checked by the morning shift. It states there are to be no substitutions.
.
The morning staff checked her lunch, and found that instead of a sandwich, snack pack and/or fruit, they had packed a lunchable, chips, and a regular yogurt. It worked in that morning staff fixed it. I'm trying to comprehend what would prompt the afternoon staff to completely ignore the picture menu. The only explanation I have come up with is that they are incredibly stupid.
.
I never heard from Case Manager yesterday about my request to have Daughter moved. I suspect that means she wasn't in yesterday. I was pondering whether I need to give them more time as I heard of concrete steps being taken yesterday, but if staff doesn't even follow a picture menu, I'm wondering if there really is hope. All it takes is one staff member refusing to be responsible to endanger the lives of the residents. I wonder if it will be any better at another home. There are no guarantees, that's for sure.

Progress?

They messed up Daughter's lunch again today, giving her almost 80 grams of carb instead of 45. The Home Manager and Medical Coordinator made a picture menu for staff and posted it on the refrigerator. It gives them three options for her lunches and says there are to be no substitutions. They have the carbs listed. She gets a sandwich, but they don't have meat on their picture menu. I asked if they were smart enough to know that they needed to put meat on the sandwich. House Manager said if they weren't, she'd redo the picture menu.

.

Pharmacist apparently made a number of recommendations, and is going to look into getting different pills so they don't have to use two cards for one dose of the problem medication. Daughter had a major meltdown before supper when she discovered that her insulin had been touched and some of it removed. I don't know why they did it, but I'm assuming that was done by the Pharmacist. I provided reassurance, but I couldn't get her completely calmed down. I told her to go listen to her ipod, but she said she needed to charge it first.

Two interesting tidbits: apparently all the staff is being given copies of my emails. One of the staff has been talking to Daughter about them, and apologizing for the problems and promising they will do better.

The state is going to be doing an inspection this week. I had seen on the state website that their license was up for renewal this year. I would love to get the opportunity to talk to the state inspectors.... I know the state will find a number of problems.

.

On to cheerier subjects: I had an awesome board meeting tonight. It was the first meeting since our retreat. We evaluated the retreat and talked about it. The evaluation was very positive. We had to finish setting some priorities as a result of the retreat. There was a lot of energy around the table. We made some exciting plans to improve communication. We're going to do a book study together as we work on discerning what God wants us to do. Our meeting was much longer than usual, but the comment was made that we had talked about important things and it didn't seem long. I love being in ministry with this congregation.

.

Are You Okay?

Daughter's phone call this morning reported she was twitching. She has a history of complex partial seizures. The med they keep messing up was prescribed for those seizures (and also serves as a mood stabalizer). I alerted Program Manager to observe and reminded Daughter that the more she focuses on them, the worse they get.
.
House Manager and Nurse have responded. House Manager insists they have done everything right and the problem is individual staff members. Nurse is very concerned and points out that all the training and systems in the world can not give a conscience to staff members who don't care.
.
Case Manager has not responded to my request for a move.
.
So Elder sticks his head in my office to say hi on his way to do some work downstairs. Then he reappears. "Are you okay?" He said I didn't sound right.
.
"I asked to have Daughter moved."
.
He understood the implications of that. He listened. I told him his start as a psych major served him well. I am blessed to be in ministry with this congregation.

Last Night's Final Call

Daughter called me around 9:00 last night. She was frustrated because they didn't give her her meds at the right time. "Mom, this place is just messed up."
.
"I know. We're trying to fix it."
.
"Mom, you need to do something. I don't want to die. I want to live."
.
It will be interesting to see how the team responds to this weekends issues. I'm tired of all the emails expressing concern and promising action but don't result in any change.
.
Very tired. I wonder how long it will take to find a new placement for Daughter. I hope they find a good one quickly.

I Did It

I just sent an email requesting that Daughter be moved. She called about her supper insulin and the staff on meds was clueless. Rather than look at the menu to see if it had the carbs for supper she wanted to give her a cup of ramen noodles because that has the carbs listed on it. She just wanted me to tell her how much insulin without figuring out the carbs. I told her the insulin is based on the number of carbs, but she just wasn't getting it. She wondered about waiting until after she ate for her insulin.
.
A move will be hard on Daughter, but I don't see them making any progress. If I saw progress, I'd wait it out. This place is dangerous, and not just for Daughter. I'm sure there will be a flurry of emails tomorrow. I hope there is also some action, for the sake of all the women there.

On a Cheerier Note

I had a wonderful time yesterday with Sister and Baby Nephew. He is such a good baby. Over 5 hours, and the only time he cried was when he had a dirty diaper. When I started to change him, he stopped crying.
.
Sister and I did some shopping. A friend has opened a new store that specializes in bird feeders and supplies. I spent too much money there, but may have a bird feeder that will foil Oscar the persistent squirrel. He took the squirrel proof top off the last squirrel resistant bird feeder I bought and hid it so I couldn't put it back on.
.
Baby Nephew has been close to walking for months. Brother and Sister-in-law informed us we weren't to tell them if he took his first steps for us. As I was getting ready to leave, I was hugging him. He was pointing to the cat and saying, "cat." I said, "You're talking before you walk. When are you going to start walking. I put him on the floor several feet away from me and he walked over to me. I resisted the urge to text Brother and tell him what had happened.
.
We will be receiving 7 new members in 2 weeks, including baptizing 2 individuals who are over 80 years old. It is wonderful to see the way God is at work at the church. I think of bringing Daughter back home, but know that would be quite challenging with all the things that are going on at the church right now. This is to be a cheery note, though, so I won't go there. I'll celebrate watching Baby Nephew take his first steps and the growth in the church.

Unsurpassed Incompetence

On February 17, I pointed out Daughter had only been getting half of one of her meds since they started the new cards on the 16th. We pulled the second card out and put it in her pill box.
.
On February 24, I pointed out that she still wasn't getting the second pill every evening, and documented the nights she had missed pills.
.
On February 26, Daughter told me one of the staff members had "fixed" a problem with her meds and pulled out some pills that didn't belong in her box. My heart sank. When I took her back this afternoon, I inspected her meds. Sure enough, staff had pulled the second card of medication out of her box, and she was back to just getting one of them.
.
I would think that the administration would have made sure that all the staff knew about the issue and were administering Daughter's meds properly. I guess I was mistaken. We put the second card back in Daughter's box and highlighted the instructions. I wish I was optimistic that this would solve the problem.

Good Plans

Today I am going to go see Sister. We're going to do some shopping and Brother an Sister-in-law will be dropping off Baby Nephew at Sister's house while they go out this evening. Short Niece is at her Dad's this weekend. Daughter will stay at her house. We will get to enjoy Baby Nephew (who is the world's most amazing baby) without our jealous daughters vying for attention. I'm really looking forward to it.
.
In fact, I went into the office yesterday morning to work on the sermon and PowerPoint so I'd be able to go. I told Sister she has to kick me out by 9:00 so I can be home in time to wind and get to bed by 11:00. I haven't seen nearly as much of family as I thought I would when I moved here. It will be good to send time with Sister and Baby Nephew today.

Heart Breaking

Daughter called this afternoon, sobbing. "Mom, I need to come home."

.

"Why? What's wrong?"

.

"I don't know. I thought the medication was supposed to help."

.

"It does, but they haven't been giving it to you properly. We're working on getting that fixed. They're sending the pharmacist to the house."

.

"I trusted them to keep me safe!"

.

I was able to tell her that Therapist was picking her up soon to go to shopping for the items for her self-soothe box. That diverted her.

.

I received several texts from Program Manager about how volatile Daughter was today. It's frustrating, and I won't hear anything more until Monday.

.

I'll see what happens after the pharmacist visits, but I think it's time for Case Manager to begin looking for another placement.

The Plan

The Pharmacist is visiting Daughter's home to review the situation. Pharmacist will make recommendations for improving the situation, which may include changes in procedures, training, and/or personnel. Nurse has acknowledged that this is a problem for all the women at the home. Daughter was irritable this visit, and acknowledged she's irritable and doesn't know why. I didn't offer her the excuse of the med issues. She had all her meds last night and this morning, so hopefully she will begin to feel better.
.
Pharmacist and Nurse are all over this now. I think that is a good thing. It is very clear that I am running out of patience. They don't want to see what happens when Mama Bear goes to war.

Deep Sigh

Last night Daughter informed me she was out of lithium, but it was okay because staff was taking care of it. She called and woke me up sometime after 11:00 p.m. to ask some minor question that I don't even remember. She said she couldn't sleep. She called again this morning, still very much up and perky.
.
I suddenly realized that she is manic. Then I realized that she would be coming to spend the night with me tonight without her lithium. Then I realized we are expecting between 6 and 10 inches of snow tonight and she could get snowed in here with me with no lithium.
.
I emailed, then texted, and the home delivered her lithium to the church. I'm done being nice and accomodating them. They said I could come pick up the lithium, and I informed them I didn't have time to do that today. So they delivered it. When I got home I looked through her med box. Last week I had pointed out they were only giving her half of one of her seizure medications (which also apparently serves as a mood stabalizer for her). We put the second card in her box, and supposedly they were going to make sure she got both of them. So I examined the cards tonight. Three nights this past week she only received one of the pills instead of two of them. I am getting very frustrated with this. Very frustrated. Daughter complained that she'd been irritated all day, and she didn't know why. I suspect it might have something to do with the fact she's not getting the medication she needs. In the email I sent this evening, I wondered what mistakes were being made iwith the meds of the women who don't have family members checking on them. It will be interesting to see what response I receive tomorrow.

Now I Remember

I'm remembering why I don't make medical appointments for myself and delay needed tests/procedures. I did very little yesterday, and I'm struggling to play catch up today. I've got a dozen things in process, but haven't completed any of them. I have things scheduled on Friday, which will make it hard for me to work in the office that day.
.
I did meet with a woman who wants to join the church today, and I did lead the noon prayer service, but preparation for worship, adult study, and the Monday evening board meeting are all incomplete. I've spent some time on each today, but still have a lot of work to do on them.
.
I think I'll go grab something for supper and then come back to the office to work for a while this evening. I want to get at least one project a little further along before I stop for the day.

Health

This morning I had an EGD (scope down my esophagus into my stomach) done. I was diagnosed with GERD several years ago, and before we moved I began to have difficulty swallowing. I felt like food was getting stuck, so I went in for an EGD. They stretched my esophagus, but there was so much scar tissue they couldn't stretch it completely. I was feeling like food was getting stuck again, so I got a referral to a GI specialist here, and the EGD was scheduled for today. I also had a barium study done a couple of weeks ago. I have some blood work I still need to get done.

There were no big major problems today, but there were a number of little things. The anesthesiologist circled some things on my EKG. I asked what he was circling and he said I wasn't supposed to see that. He then asked if I'd had a stress test, and I told him I'd not only had a stress test, I'd had a catheterization and it was fine. He said that was good, then asked how long ago that was.

The GI doctor wanted to know about my scleroderma. My blood work is positive for progressive systemic scleroderma, but the rheumatologist wasn't sure it was accurate, as she didn't see any symptoms of the disease. The GI doctor assured me it was accurate. So I just did some research, and discovered that scleroderma can cause these issues with the esophagus. I didn't like what I read about the prognosis.

Over the years I have neglected my own health because I was spending so much time transporting Daughter to various specialists. I'd ignore my own problems. When I got to the point I was afraid to go to sleep because I kept waking up gasping for breath I finally went in for a sleep study. I've used a cpap machine faithfully since that time. It seems that I'm now seeing the results of delaying and neglecting my health now. Getting older doesn't help, either.

Administrative Assistant was going to pick me up (because I can't drive for 24 hours) for a Shrove Tuesday potluck at one of our sister churches. I just called and told her I'm not going to try to go. I'm tired, and once the numbing stuff wore off, my throat began to hurt. Maybe it's time I began to listen to my body. Hopefully it's not too late.

Frustrated

Daughter is frustrated that they are following the diet. She is expressing her frustration in a rude matter. I told her she needed to apologize. She was not very receptive. She called tonight when I was in a meeting (as I am every Monday night). I answered in my standard way: "I'm in a meeting. You can call me after 9. Love you. Bye." I heard an angry, "Fine." Before I hung up. She hasn't called back, and I'm fine with that.
.
She was frustrated because she had an unstructured day today. She does not do well with unstructured time. I'm just grateful I don't have to deal with the rude remarks and her complaints about a day off.
.
Once she adjusts to the diet and realizes they are going to follow it, she'll settle in and be fine. Hopefully that will be soon.

More Adjusting

I am adjusting to living alone, but it has taken me longer than I anticipated. Yesterday I made my first meals for the freezer since Daughter moved out. I've also did more real cooking this past week. I think food has been hardest the thing for me since she moved out. I'm glad that I'm finally getting into a routine.

I've also taken on a small project in the kitchen, modifying a corner cabinet. Daughter and I have an ongoing discussion about what women can and can't do. She seems to think that anything that involves tools should be done by a man. I don't know where she gets that idea. I've always had tools, and always done minor repairs around the house.

Daughter is unhappy about Presidents' Day tomorrow. Her program will be closed. She doesn't want to be at her house tomorrow. She was desperately seeking someone to rescue her. I suggested she shift her focus to ways to have fun at her house. She wasn't happy with that idea.

She chose to stay longer today and go to the nursing home worship service with me. I was pleased that she wanted to be part of that. She's still frustrated by the new commitment to following her diet at the house. I'm delighted by it.

Adjusting

Daughter called me seeking directions on hooking her DVD/VCR back up to her TV. (She had disconnected it and tried to hook it up to the house TV to share a movie with everyone.) She wanted some alone time in her room with a movie. She didn't ask me to come do it for her, she asked me to clarify what she needed to do. I was impressed. I guess she was over her frustration about her diet.
.
She really has matured since she moved. She's still manipulative. She still needs limits. She's learning how to do things on her own. She's learning how to deal with her feelings and take time away when she needs it. She's learning and adjusting, and I'm glad.

A Conversation

I was at breakfast with Sister Best Friend when my cell phone rang.

"Thanks, Mom, for messing up my diet. They're measuring my milk!"

"Good! I want you to be healthy, and that will help."

"You might as well feed me seaweed!"

"No, that won't work. I don't know the carbs for seaweed."

Parties and Peace

Daughter's program (and a number of other programs for the developmentally disabled) had a Valentine party at the church today. They had a band, a popcorn machine, and all sorts of fun. Daughter was doing a little rapid cycling there. She'd texted me that it was a terrible party, but when I got to the church and went downstairs to see give her a couple of books, she was dancing and happy. She came to find me, crying within 20 minutes. I told her she'd be fine, and suggested she take a break in a quiet room. She did, and that was the end of the complaining.

She's called twice since she got home. Both calls were happy and she didn't complain. She'll get back on the full dose of her seizure medication tonight, and that should help. She's on two meds for seizures, and since she moved we've discovered that both help with leveling out her moods. She also on two meds for the bipolar plus the anti psychotic. We've found that she needs everyone of them. I was pondering today what it would have been like to try to live with her before there were all these options for medication. I've decided I'm grateful for meds and don't want to know what life would be like with her unmedicated.

I'm meeting Sister Best Friend for breakfast tomorrow morning. I'm looking forward to it. Now it's time for bed. The last few days have exhausted me.

The Meeting

I was not looking forward to the meeting at the house. Not at all. It went amazingly well.

Despite what the agency says, the staff has not been adequately trained. Old staff are supposed to train new staff, but there isn't a training program and there is no guarantee old staff were trained correctly. The House Manager is going to retrain everybody.

We made some changes to help for now, and I will go train the entire staff in March.

Daughter will have the Home Manager's number in her cell phone, and she can call her directly, taking me out of the loop.

The dietitian's menu was needlessly complicated. We came up with a simplified menu that gives Daughter choices for lunch and makes it easy for staff.

Daughter is being manipulative. I gave them hints on dealing with her manipulation.

It's a beginning. I can live with that for now.

Something Good

There wasn't any choir last night, so Daughter and I enjoyed a quiet night here at home. She was excited about some "Mommy-Daughter" time. She had requested stromboli, so I made it. I used a new recipe, and she loved it.
.
We watched Mama Mia again. It was fun, mindless fun. She snuggled in next to me. It was just what we both needed. There wasn't any arguing or drama. She was happy and grateful. Of course I had all the food locked up.
.
Today I have an appointment with the Medical Coordinator at the home. We set this up at the psychiatrist appointment Monday. It should be an interesting meeting....

And for Their Next Trick...

Daughter is only getting half of one of her seizure medications. She's supposed to get 1000 mg twice a day. For some reason the pharmacy is giving her 500 mg tablets. Last month they had the two 500 mg tablets on the same card. This month they don't, and only one card is in her box. It does explain why she is having trouble sleeping.
.
I think this email will make it clear I'm fed up. I point out that I had foolishly assumed that the staff cared about her health, but obviously was wrong and they don't care about her physical or emotional well-being. The home never did respond to any of the emails today. I'm really struggling with whether I should even let her go back....

Assumptions

As I pondered what was going on at Daughter's home this evening, I realized I had started with a false assumption. I assumed that the staff at Daughter's home cared about her safety and well being. I had assumed that once they understood what they were doing wrong that was endangering her life, they would want to fix it. I was wrong.
.
They don't care about her life. They don't care if they kill her. We can do all the training and talking in the world, but if they don't care, they aren't going to change. There still hasn't been any response from the home.
.
I'm pondering my options, but one of the challenges is that I'm dependent on the mental health agency to provide Daughter a safe place to live. If I file a complaint with the state licensing board and they shut this house down, the agency is going to have 12 homeless women to place, and they may decide Daughter's not a high priority. The same thing applies if I were to go to the media, which I have also considered.
.
I believe the people at the agency care about Daughter, but they can't make the staff at the house care. No one can make them care. No one.

Lots of Emails

There are lots of emails flowing between various professionals involved in Daughter's care. Nurse, Dietitian, Program Manager, Case Manager and I have all written at least one email today. There has been no response from the House Manager or Medical Coordinator at Daughter's home. Nurse tried to reach them by phone, but that didn't work either. I'm glad Daughter is going to be with me tonight. Very glad.

And When I Think It Can't Get Worse....

I was at Daughter's program today to do some training with the staff there. In the course of the conversation, two interesting little tidbits came out:

• The leftover beans and hot dogs they were served last night were left out over night. "It's no wonder so many of the women keep getting sick," Daughter said. Program Manager is reporting that one.
• Daughter doesn't think they are drawing up her insulin correctly. She uses a pen during the day, but a syringe for her long acting insulin. She claims they are shorting her on that insulin.

I'm trying not to scream, but maybe that's what needs to happen....

I Hope She Is Lying

Two phone calls from Daughter this evening. The first came at about 4:50. "Mom, can I take my pill now so I can eat? All the other women have eaten supper, but they won't let me eat because it isn't 5:00." I told her she could take her pill and eat, the important thing wasn't the time, but taking it with her meal. I was annoyed, because they had just explained that the women never eat until 5:30 or 6:00, and I found myself wondering if they were punishing Daughter for the concerns we have been raising by making her watch the other women eat while she waited because they had to follow doctor's orders.
.
The second call came later. She told me she had a headache and was saying things she shouldn't say because she was irritated and tired from the lows she'd had earlier. "Lows? What happened?"
.
She proceeded to tell me a story of her blood sugar dropping to 63 on the van ride home. She said she told the staff member her blood sugar was low, and she needed food. Staff told her they'd be home in 15 minutes and she could talk to whoever was cooking. When they got home, she checked again. Her blood sugar was 62. She informed them she needed food. Again she was told to talk to whoever was in the kitchen. She said she was low and needed something right then. She said they finally gave her some orange juice and asked her what they should do next. Her blood sugar came up, and she explained she needed to eat her supper. The said she had to wait for 5:00 so she could take her pill.
.
She said, "Mom, if they don't even know how to handle a low, how can I trust them to if I have a big problem with my diabetes?" Good question. I hope she is lying. I'm afraid she's telling the truth.
.
I congratulated her on speaking up for herself and being a good advocate. I sent emails off to the team. I think I need to talk to Case Manager tomorrow. If the story is true, I'm going to explore filing a complaint with the state licensing bureau. Oh, and she reports that supper the last two nights has been baked beans and hot dogs. I'm sure that's on the menu the dietitian provided. NOT.

Becoming a Pest

Last night Daughter was informed she couldn't have a sleeping pill because they were expired. The staff member was looking at the fill date of December 13 and decided they were expired and she couldn't have one.
.
This morning she called to ask if she could buy lunch today. Apparently the staff that was on last night decided the best way to deal with Daughter's lunch was not to make her one. I told her she needed to pack her lunch.
.
Each of these incidents resulted in an email to Case Manager, Home Manager, Medical Coordinator, and Nurse. The sleeping pill has been addressed, but they still are not responding to the concerns about the diet.
.
I have decided that Daughter and I are called to report the problems so that things will improve for all the residents. Of course, at some point they may decide to kick Daughter out, but until that time, we are going to do what we can to improve the care the residents receive.

Meals

So last night after these issues were supposedly addressed, Daughter was fed a meal that was very high in carbs. At bedtime her blood sugar was almost 200, and she was given some potato chips for a snack. This morning her blood sugar was high, which is not surprising.
.
I sent an email to the Case Manager, House Manager, and the Medical Coordinator for the home. Case Manager responded right away this morning, and included Nurse, Dietitian, Counselor, Program Manager, and Psychiatrist in her response. She wants to know how this is being addressed and who the staff member was who ignored Daughter's diet and the planned menu.
.
This morning the staff was working with Daughter and me to figure out the carbs for her breakfast. I'm very willing to field those calls. I'm willing to help. I'm not willing to stand by and allow them to destroy her health. Daughter was much more relaxed and confident in her last two phone calls. I think it helped to know that the concerns will be addressed and she will be heard.

Confirmation

Today was Daughter's appointment with Psychiatrist. Case Manager and the new Medical Coordinator were both there, as was Program Manager and Counselor. After Daughter left, Case Manager filled me in a bit. There is a huge problem at the group home. The staff are out right refusing to do their jobs. Several have been fired, and more will be fired in the future. There is a concern about maintaining some continuity.
.
They are refusing to follow Daughter's diet. They gave her a ton of carbs for breakfast this morning, and a lunchable that contained half the carbs she is supposed to have for lunch. The old house manager stepped own, in part, because staff was basically telling her to f*** off when she gave them directions. They know there is a huge systemic problem there. They are trying to get it fixed. We may have to move Daughter to a different home.
.
Daughter's reports on the chaos and staff having inappropriate conversations in front of the residents is accurate. Sigh.
.
Good news: I like the new Medical Coordinator. I'm meeting with her Friday to talk about the diabetes issues. She's considering developing a picture menu for the staff, giving them options for Daughter's lunch. There are no complaints about Daughter from staff or other residents. They like her. Case Manager is willing to do the hard work of finding her another all female house if it becomes necessary.

Fishing

Daughter was fishing today, throwing out bait, lures, and anything else she could think of in an attempt to hook me. She entertained me with all sorts of inappropriate comments from staff. I listened, and then said, "I wonder what they would say if I asked them."
.
"Okay, I twisted it."
.
Finally, at lunch I told her I knew that the uncertainty and change were really hard for her. We made a list of the things that aren't changing. We talked about things she could do when she feels overwhelmed. We talked about all the other changes she has successfully navigated.
.
I considered it a victory. Not only did she not hook me, I identified the real issue and helped her figure out how to cope.

Snowy Meetings

Today was a regional church meeting. I don't like it when these meetings are on Saturday. I prefer to have them through the week, but the hope is that by having them on Saturday employed lay people will be able to attend.
.
The meeting was on the other side of town, so I decided the snow wasn't an excuse to stay home. I also knew that people who lived further away and had gotten more snow would probably not make the meeting. So I went. The roads were terrible. I saw a number of cars that had gone off the road, including a truck that was overturned in the median on the interstate.
.
I saw some friends. We had a good discussion at lunch, and I have some material I'm going to use with my board. The meeting ran over-- so I was there for almost 7 hours. The roads weren't much better on the way home, unfortunately.
.
Daughter knew I was at a meeting all day, so she couldn't call me. She was not happy about that. She texted once, and I responded. I told her she could call her aunt. She called me this evening, sobbing because she hadn't been able to talk to me today and Saturdays are very boring. I wasn't very sympathetic. I pointed out that I did text here, and that she was able to call her aunt. I also reminded her that she managed to go a week without talking to me when she was at camp. I told her I looked forward to seeing her tomorrow morning. She finally recognized I wasn't buying her drama, and said goodbye. I'm sure she was very frustrated.

Blessed

The other night I mentioned to the retired pipe fitter in the congregation that the faucet on my kitchen sink was loose. Last night after choir he asked if he could stop by today. So, this afternoon he showed up with his "apprentice," a retired civil engineer.
.
They are now at the home improvement store purchasing a new faucet for my sink and new light bulbs for my range hood. The old one was installed wrong, or defective, or broken, or . . . . Whatever the cause of the problem, it was in need of replacing. I gave them money and off they went. Their wives are in New York right now. They proudly reported that they were on Today this morning.
.
I consider myself very blessed to have friends like them who will lend me a hand with issues around the house.

Interesting Conversation

Daughter was in a better mood after choir. She was complaining about one of the women at their house who is ruining the furniture. According to Daughter, the woman claims a bladder problem, but really she's just too lazy to get up and go the bathroom. Daughter sounded disgusted as she told me about this.
.
"I know someone else who did that."
.
She was actually embarrassed, and even acknowledged that was exactly what she had done!

Melt Down

This week I got the letter announcing that the House Manager will be stepping down tomorrow. It was sitting on the kitchen table as we were eating supper tonight. Daughter picked it up and read it. She was not happy. It's one more change. She doesn't see it as improving what has become an increasingly difficult situation. For her, it's one more change.
.
She had a melt down. She sat next to me on the couch and sobbed. She denies it has anything to do with the letter, but I know it does. I hope that with new leadership there will be less chaos in the home. I hope that with new leadership they'll begin providing her with the appropriate amount of carbs in her lunch. I hope that the new leadership will provide strong leadership. I hope that it will bring some stability for Daughter and her "sisters."
.
Sometimes hope is all I have.

Birthday

Today is my birthday. I've been dreading it. I often find birthdays challenging. Today, though, has been a very good day. I got into the office at 7:30, and by the time Administrative Assistant arrived I had the Sunday School lesson finished. I had commitments at 9:30, 10:00, 11:00, 12:00, and 12:45. The guys on the building maintenance team gave me a large chunk of chocolate cake. I also received a decorated birthday cake, flowers, and a flowering plant from members. I was inundated with birthday greetings on facebook, and my siblings even managed to remember and call me.
.
Daughter called several times, and I picked her up this evening. We went out to eat and then went to see the movie Joyful Noise. It was a very pleasant evening. Daughter was dancing as we came out of the movie theater. She gave me an arrangement of silk roses. It was an enjoyable evening with her.
.
It's been a busy week, and a good one. We're getting things done. I'm feeling very blessed this year.

Funerals

I had a funeral today. I do many funerals, and normally they don't bother me too much. The one today did. It was an older man who had cancer. He chose to enter hospice care. He had a "good" death. He and his wife had an opportunity to say goodbye and express their love. I thought maybe I was connecting them with my parents, but tonight I realized what the connection was. They had one child, a daughter they adopted. I hear from extended family there were challenges along the way. She was 20 years old and working at a fast food place when she was killed in a freak accident. The widow is alone now. I think it's the death of their daughter and her being alone that hooked me.
.
It's hard, coming home to an empty house. Tonight I did some more work in the kitchen, and I did fix supper and eat at the table. But the house is empty, and I do miss having someone here. I also know that I made the right decision when I moved Daughter into this home. She reported tonight that another staff member was fired. She claims they are being fired over mistakes with the medications. It is bothering her. I pointed out that that meant they were taking the safety of the residents and the importance of properly distributing medications very seriously.

Insight

I avoided coming home for supper again tonight. As I was walking into the restaurant, I realized I've been avoiding my messy kitchen. So, after my meeting I came home and started cleaning.
.
Daughter was upset this morning because only one side of her earphones for her ipod were working. She didn't think she could cope without her music. I suggested she figure out other ways to cope. She managed, and her other calls were positive. She even managed to avoid calling during my meetings. She is making progress.
.
I haven't finished the kitchen, but I've made progress. I'll eat at home tomorrow night. I'll sit at my kitchen table and read while I eat. I'm looking forward to that.

Sigh

One of the newer staff members at Daughter's home once again gave her her anti psychotic when supper wasn't even started, let alone ready. Daughter complained to another staff member (who is willing to listen and has half a brain) and she fed Daughter early. The staff member with a brain was very frustrated with this other staff member. I suggested she report her.
.
Daughter reports another staff member has been fired for messing up meds. She was a staff member I liked. I talked to two of my favorite staff members when I picked Daughter up this morning. They think the new med coordinator will be good. I need to sit down and talk to her.
.
It's rather discouraging to recognize that staff turnover is going to be an ongoing part of life now. Maybe Daughter will learn how to handle change....

Vacation Plans

I've been struggling with plans for a vacation this summer. We haven't camped the last two summers, and I'd like to do it this summer. The struggle has been about Daughter. Will she be cooperative? Would I enjoy camping alone? Daughter gives me very mixed messages about camping. She claims she hates it, but once we get there she often doesn't want to leave (though she complains up until the last day, when she grudgingly admits she really likes it and would like to stay longer). She lobbies to stay in a motel, but it would be very difficult to swing a motel in the area we like. I can get a nice campsite for $21 a month, and then we can cook our own meals. I told her it's the difference between staying a week and going to concerts and staying one or two nights and skipping the concerts. I don't think she gets that.
.
So yesterday I was talking to the woman who picked Daughter up last Sunday. Daughter was telling her how much she was looking forward to camping this summer. She was telling her about all the fun things we do. So last night I told Daughter about the conversation. It was amusing. She tried to deny it. She tried to qualify it, "well, I had to talk about something...." Finally, she acknowledged it. She wants to camp this summer. The only thing she doesn't like is the bugs.
.
So today I started looking at the campground and searching out concert information. She called, asking what I was doing. I told her. She was excited. I'm sure she'll complain again before we actually go, but I'm looking forward to a week in the woods. It will be fun.

Day Off

I'm meeting with a widow this morning to plan the service for her husband Tuesday. She was distressed when she remembered that Friday is my day off. I assured her this took precedence. I also told her I had scheduled our meeting at a time that wouldn't interfere with any of my plans for today.
.
I was able to do some coordination with Administrative Assistant via phone, since I was gone all day. She got the things I need for my meeting with her ready and made arrangements for a pianist and a dinner. So I'll meet the widow at 9, get my haircut at 11:30, and then at 1:00 I'll meet a couple of friends and we'll go to an event at the convention center.
.
I'll do a little work this morning, but I'll also enjoy my day off. I'm looking forward to it.

That's So 12 Seconds Ago

I'm sure you've all seen the obnoxious commercials bragging about 4g network speed that gets you messages faster. I was thinking of that today in relationship to Daughter. She knew I was going to be busy all day. She sent me two text messages over the course of the day. In the first, she was being emotionally and physically harassed and wanted the police to come arrest the culprit before she beat him up. I responded with a text telling her to talk to staff and reminding her I had confidence in her, loved her, and would see her tonight. She responded OK.
.
Then this afternoon she texted that she was having a meltdown and couldn't stop crying. I again reminded her of coping skill and gave her the standard reassurances. When she got off the bus tonight, she was very happy. I was on the phone with my sisters, and it didn't bother her. She never mentioned the texts and her crises of the day. That's typical of Daughter. She has a crisis. It's resolved. She never mentions it again. She lives very much in the moment. I haven't decided if that's a good thing or not....

Short Week

I'm going to a workshop today that last from 9:30 to 3:00. This workshop is part of a monthly series on churches and family systems theory. I'm learning and enjoying the workshop, but the week I have it is always challenging, as it makes for a very short week in the office. Since Administrative Assistant doesn't work on Mondays, it means we only have two days we're in together. We had two days to get the newsletter put together this month. After the board retreat this weekend, I had a number of articles to write. (We used to rotate that responsibility among board members, but they were very uncomfortable with it and the results were not always good. Since we set communication as a priority and I'm a professional communicator, we decided I'd write the articles. It has worked well.)
.
When Administrative Assistant left yesterday, the newsletter and bulletin were both ready to be printed today. We were pleased with what we'd accomplished. Today a new phone system will be installed. Our old system was not digital, and was used when it was installed a number of years ago. It took a very long time to get to voice mail to leave messages. We couldn't take advantage of caller ID. We are looking forward to having a new, more efficient phone system. I don't think that AA was looking forward to the disruption that would come in today's installation.
.
It will be interesting to hear if our master electrician is at the church to oversee things today. His brother-in-law died yesterday. His sister, who is very much alone, is going to the funeral home today to make arrangements. His sister needs him, but he'll want to be at the church. I spent some time with his sister yesterday afternoon. Her husband was in hospice care, so this was expected. No matter how much you expect a death, though, it's still hard. I expect she'll call me on my cell while I'm at the workshop with details on services. All he wanted was a small graveside. I suggested she consider not only his preferences, but her needs. According to her brother, he was a strange man. I never met him. He didn't want any ministers around.
.
Can you tell Daughter's doing well? I'm less distracted, so things are getting done more efficiently at church. I like it.