Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Joy and Drama

First, the joy. When I came here, I kept hearing about Beloved Founding Pastor. BFP still cast a long shadow, and his shadow was part of the reason my predecessor failed. I spent some time trying to figure out how we could celebrate his ministry and move beyond it, but hadn't come up with anything. Then I got busy with other things and forgot about it. Yesterday one of the leaders was in my study. We were discussing another leader who had gone from opposing any change to asking for more. As we were talking, I realized I hadn't heard BFP mentioned in months. I said as much to this leader, who didn't even know who I was talking about at first. I'm not worried about figuring out how to celebrate his ministry so we can move beyond it anymore.
Some months back a member had informed me he was making a new lectern for me in memory of his mother-in-law. A week or so later another member mentioned he was making one. When we told him of the first member's plans, he was disappointed. I suggested we could use his downstairs. Last week Administrative Assistant and I were talking about how it would be nice to have a stand for the guest book at memorial services. Then the man who had been disappointed mentioned his project. I suggested it could become a guest book register. He was delighted. Last night I sat in a meeting and we were discussing how to better track visitors. Someone suggested we get a guest book. I said we had a stand for guest books being made.
I have had several conversations with Disgruntled Member who was quite concerned about the direction of the church and its health. DM was telling me we needed a new vision. I agreed, but suggested that it would take some time to build a relationship of trust that would enable me to lead an effective visioning process, especially since the congregation had two recent failed attempts to develop one. I explained that we were setting priorities for the year until we could write a vision statement. He was not satisfied. Yesterday DM had coffee with Treasurer. Today Treasurer reported that DM was very pleased with the annual meeting Sunday. He thought it was very informative. Treasurer was delighted to report, "and there weren't any buts."
I'm grateful for all the joy, because it diverts me from the drama. Daughter is very manic according to Program Manager. I told PM it was her turn to complain about the med issues, so she did. Yesterday Daughter "forgot" her meter, and the house staff had to bring her back to her program to get it. I told PM I thought that since staff was inconveniencing Daughter by forgetting her meds, Daughter is inconveniencing them by forgetting things. I get the reports, but I'm not engaging. I'm encouraging and reassuring Daughter, but not rescuing her. I'm grateful the drama is taking place away from me. Very grateful.

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