Tuesday, February 7, 2012


I had a funeral today. I do many funerals, and normally they don't bother me too much. The one today did. It was an older man who had cancer. He chose to enter hospice care. He had a "good" death. He and his wife had an opportunity to say goodbye and express their love. I thought maybe I was connecting them with my parents, but tonight I realized what the connection was. They had one child, a daughter they adopted. I hear from extended family there were challenges along the way. She was 20 years old and working at a fast food place when she was killed in a freak accident. The widow is alone now. I think it's the death of their daughter and her being alone that hooked me.
It's hard, coming home to an empty house. Tonight I did some more work in the kitchen, and I did fix supper and eat at the table. But the house is empty, and I do miss having someone here. I also know that I made the right decision when I moved Daughter into this home. She reported tonight that another staff member was fired. She claims they are being fired over mistakes with the medications. It is bothering her. I pointed out that that meant they were taking the safety of the residents and the importance of properly distributing medications very seriously.


Anonymous said...

are you saying you miss the bed wetting, fights about showers, fights about stealing food, fights about power and control, drama??
i learned a long time ago - there are worse things than being alone.
this is a new phase in your life with some freedom. this empty nest would have happened even if your daughter did not have her special needs and just went off to college or got married. start a book club or reading at your home one night a week or cards or coffee and open discussion, do some geneology if you miss people around.

Reverend Mom said...

As I said, I know I made the right decision. Daughter will not live here again. I don't miss the stress.

There are so many nights I'm out and have commitments, that most of the time I'm grateful to come home to a quiet nice. I do miss cooking for someone on a nightly basis, though I'm grateful not to have that stress, too.

Occasionally, something hooks me like the woman did yesterday, and it's hard to come home to an empty house. Even when it's hard, though, there are advantages. This is a busy week, and I took advantage of the quiet last night to do a lot of the writing that needed to get done this week. With the little projects done, I can focus on Sunday School and worship between commitments today and tomorrow morning.

Miz Kizzle said...

I understand. Happy as my husband and I are that are kids are pretty much out of the nest we miss the busyness of having them at home. I'm not generally a gloomy person but I look to the future and worry about ending up old and alone.
Yeah, no fun.
But as for your DD, how does she know the employees were fired for screwing up clients' meds? The reasons for firing someone should be confidential. If the clients ask they should be told something like, "It wasn't working out" and then the subject should be changed.
Besides the ex-employee having a right to privacy, telling your DD about medication difficulties only makes her anxious.
Can you have a word with the director about it?

Reverend Mom said...

Miz Kizzle, I'm glad you understand.

I'm not sure if Daughter's knowledge of the firings is accurate or not. What I do know is that Daughter is hypervigilant, so if something is going on, she knows it. In her program there was an incident once that they tried to keep they tried to prevent the other clients from knowing about. She came home and told me about it in detail.

The House Manager's last day is Friday. I hope that once she is gone, things will improve. Right now I think things are a mess. I'm amazed Daughter is handling the chaos as well as she is. There has been a lot of staff turnover, and I suspect that there will be more to come.