Thursday, February 16, 2012


As I pondered what was going on at Daughter's home this evening, I realized I had started with a false assumption. I assumed that the staff at Daughter's home cared about her safety and well being. I had assumed that once they understood what they were doing wrong that was endangering her life, they would want to fix it. I was wrong.
They don't care about her life. They don't care if they kill her. We can do all the training and talking in the world, but if they don't care, they aren't going to change. There still hasn't been any response from the home.
I'm pondering my options, but one of the challenges is that I'm dependent on the mental health agency to provide Daughter a safe place to live. If I file a complaint with the state licensing board and they shut this house down, the agency is going to have 12 homeless women to place, and they may decide Daughter's not a high priority. The same thing applies if I were to go to the media, which I have also considered.
I believe the people at the agency care about Daughter, but they can't make the staff at the house care. No one can make them care. No one.


Roxy James said...

File a complaint and go to the media. Simultaneously. The home is endangering your daughter and the women she lives with. It's not like you can trust the home to care for her and you may well need to remove her for now.

Complaining at least MAY result in the massive changes that COULD make the home a safe place for your girl. Maybe. Not complaining pretty much guarantees a continuation of the status quo!

Reverend Mom said...

Still pondering (and praying about) my options.

Deb said...


I have been following your blog for a while. I am an adoptive parent and I run a program that provides housing and services for adults with disabilities.

What is happening at the residential program your daughter lives in is inexcusable. The county the home is located in should have adult protection services. Your daughter is covered by these services, because she is a "vulnerable adult". I recommend calling them and reporting what is happening. This is different than the licensing folks. What is happening to your daughter is both abuse & neglect and needs to be reported.

I'm so sorry this is happening to your daughter ... And to you! This is NOT how most providers care for our clients!

Reverend Mom said...

Thanks, Deb,

It is reassuring to know that this is not the norm. I'm going to be exploring my options tomorrow. I will keep protective services in mind. One of my priorities is to avoid traumatizing Daughter, and I think an investigation would be hard on her.

Miz Kizzle said...

Unfortunately, (or perhaps VERY fortunately) the media would not be likely to be interested in doing a story about the problems at the facility because no one has died or gone into a coma or suffered any severe consequences as a result of the staff's incompetence.
Until one of the residents is dead or on life support or the building goes up in flames it's just not all that newsworthy.
Believe me, I was a newspaper reporter and editor before I became a lawyer and I know how editors judge these things.
I like Deb's suggestion. The house manager has been unable to resolve the problems; it's time to move on to the county level.

Reverend Mom said...

If that's the case I hope the media never finds it ineteresting....