This morning I was contemplating taking Daughter out to breakfast and then doing some shopping that needs to be done. I called her several times, but she didn't acknowledge hearing me until 10:00. When she finally came downstairs, she was carrying her wet linens. I didn't say anything, but she could tell I was disappointed. She got defiant, "I'm doing what I'm supposed to do when I wet the bed." I acknowledged that was true, and went into the kitchen to get some breakfast.
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As she joined me, she kept asking me what was wrong. I finally told her I'd planned on taking her out for breakfast, but since she'd refused to get up the first time I called and wet the bed, that wouldn't be happening. She got a stricken look on her face, "I didn't know."
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"You aren't supposed to be doing these things for reward, but because it's the right thing to do." I waited for the meltdown. I explained that she'd have to take the 2 stickers off that we'd put on for her dry nights, and she'd be starting over again. I pointed out that she could still earn other stickers today. She was disappointed that the stickers had to come off, but again, no anger or arguing.
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She took care of the laundry and asked what I wanted her to do. I asked her to vacuum the stairs. She made a face and asked if she could clean the kitchen instead. I agreed. She is doing a wonderful job on the kitchen, including the floor, which was in dire need of attention. She has responded well to direction. She is attending to the laundry. In short, she has recovered quite quickly from her disappointment. Today, I am slightly more optimistic. If she can handle setbacks this well, she really is getting out of her dark hole.
2 comments:
I feel bad that you won't be taking your annual camping vacation of your DD is wetting the bed. You NEED that time in the place that you love. Is there any way you can still do it? Maybe super absorbent Depends and a couple of cheap sleeping bags from Goodwill that can be tossed if she wets so you won't have to hang around a laundromat?
Miz Kizzle,
You're right, I need it. I'm pondering possibilities. I said something to Daughter about camping and she protested. She always protests right up until the time I light the first campfire, when she says, "Okay. I like camping." Part of the issue is other commitments I have-- I'm interviewing and preaching for a congregation next month, and in July I'm teaching a class at a conference. If we're going to be moving, I'm going to need to schedule more time away. I'm hoping I'll be able to figure something out. The conference is at a camp on a lake, so at least I'll have that. I may schedule a walk through the woods every day I'm there....
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