A New Plan

Yesterday I came up with a new plan to give Daughter the visual reminders she needs. I took a poster board and a poster frame and talked again about the things she needs to be able to do to achieve her goals. The first goal we set was for community employment. I came up with a list of 6 things she needs to master to be successful in a job.

1. Keep her bedroom and closet clean (can't take shortcuts or hide undone work)


2. Take care of the clean laundry (again, no shortcuts or hiding)


3. Handle verbal instructions (she prefers things written down, and if I verbally tell her more than 1 task she protests that I'm piling on her and she can't handle it).


4. Pick up the pace of her work when asked (she slows down when told to speed up)


5. Work through pain (she regularly complains of physical ailments to get out of work. I don't think the ailments are real, they are just an excuse.)


6. Stay dry (Sunday she wet herself through the day.)

I told her that she needs to do all of those things for 30 days straight. I made a chart with boxes for each day and each task. When she fills 30 boxes, I'll take her out for ice cream. I put in rewards every 30 boxes, and at 180 boxes I'll help her get a job.

Several interesting things came out of all of this.

1. She was amazed that I'd actually help her get a real job. I was surprised to realize that she thinks I'm holding her back.


2. She was quite confident that she'd be able to do these things, and didn't question the need for a single one.


3. She knows how to stop wetting the bed. My sisters have urged me to take her to the doctor to check for physical issues. I keep telling them there is no medical reason for this. Daughter confirmed that. "I just need to listen to Kitten. She knows when I'm going to wet the bed and tries to make me wake up. She knows because I get restless."

In the past she'd mentioned that Kitten doesn't like it when she wets the bed, but this was the first I heard that Kitten tries to get her up. She was dry this morning. Do I think she'll be able to do all those things for 30 days? Not really. But that's okay. If she does, I am figuring out what we can do about employment. I put it in a poster frame for several reasons:

1. It will be harder for her to destroy when she gets frustrated with it.


2. We can use a dry erase marker to track her progress. It will be easy to erase and start over when she blows it.


3. It is a concrete visual reminder. The goal of community employment is at the top. The tasks and rewards are listed. She decorated it, so she was involved.

Will it work? It gives me something to point to when she wants to move out or adopt a kid. I can remind her that first she needs to be able to hold down a job, and to hold down a job, she needs to be able to do those things. If it keeps her motivated for several days at a time, it will be worth it. Last night she folded the whites properly without complaining, a first. This morning she was dry. If that happens several times a week, it will be worth the time and money.