A Memory from the Early Years

Daughter went with me to various meetings and events in the evenings. As we'd drive home, she would often fall asleep in the car. I remember a number of drives spent trying to keep her from falling asleep in the car. I'd reach into the back seat and pinch her toes. I'd work at engaging her in conversation (which was hard, as she wasn't really verbal until she was 5 or so).

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If she fell asleep in the car, it was impossible to get her into the house and into bed without waking her up because she was such a light sleeper. If she'd been asleep and woke up, she'd rage. Sometimes it would take over an hour to get her to settle back down and go to sleep. Bedtime was hard on her, because she was afraid. She'd been molested and abused in her bed, so her bedroom was not a safe place. If she stayed awake in the car, she would be so tired she would fall asleep easily. If she fell asleep, she'd have had just enough sleep that she was terrified and had a difficult time overcoming the sleep and was terrified.

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One major piece of progress: she is no longer afraid of her bedroom. I suspect though, that the recent spat of bed wetting was related to those fears/memories. Bed wetting is protective, because it is repulsive. When she's working through the trauma again, the bed wetting returns. Therapist told me last night that young adulthood is another developmental stage when the trauma is revisited and reprocessed. She is dry this morning. She jumped up and down with joy when I told her she could fill in a box on her chart. Then I got a happy dance. I'm smiling.