Grateful

Today I am grateful that in spite of the ongoing challenges, Daughter is attached to me. She took me out to lunch in City today. She was so excited about it, I understand she was telling everyone at church what she was going to do. She even paid for most of it herself.

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On the way there we had a good conversation. It started, once again, with her telling me she wants to adopt a child. Once again I explained that she had to be able to take care of herself and be successful living independently before she can adopt. What was different this time, though, was that I figured out what was behind this desire.

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Pregnant Best Friend was hospitalized with pregnancy complications this past week. I have been working under the assumption that Daughter was jealous of PBF. She may be a little jealous, but there is much more to it. PBF was also adopted. She was older when she was adopted, and I don't think she succeeded in forming an attachment with her mom. Daughter considers her a sister because of their common experience. Daughter is beginning to recognize the differences between them, and it's painful. PBF does not have a conscience. PBF does not answer or return Daughter's phone calls. Daughter is extremely worried about PBF's health, and frustrated that they won't take her calls, so she doesn't know if PBF has recovered enough to go home from the hospital. What Daughter is more concerned about, though, is the safety of PBF's baby. She recognizes that PBF and Husband are lacking many of the traits that make people good parents. Husband has a temper. PBF is refusing to follow her doctor's orders about diet and such. Daughter is identifying with the baby. She wants to adopt PBF's baby, so she can keep her safe.

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I am grateful for a good lunch with Daughter. I am grateful that she has a conscience and has such a deep concern for PBF's unborn child. I'm sorry that PBF doesn't have the same concern.