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That's what Daughter told me several times yesterday evening. I wasn't yelling, but she was picking up on my stress and frustration. I spent over $60 at the superstore yesterday on yet another attempt to cut down on the problems created by her bed wetting. I couldn't find the plastic mattress cover I wanted, so I bought to shower curtains and brought them home and taped them together to cover her mattress. I bought a waterproof mattress pad with more padding, in the hopes it would soak up the urine and keep it from dripping on the bed skirt and carpet. I bought a small package of super absorbent De.pends. She was not happy about the De.pends. She wasn't going to wear them. I told her I'd thought they'd be better than sleeping in a wet bed all night. I cut the traza,done she takes to help her sleep. I limited her fluid intake. I told her that I thought the bed wetting would stop now because she knew she was safe at the gift shop and Super Supervisor is back.
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So what did it accomplish? I have two loads of wet linens this morning because the mattress pad won't fit in with the other stuff. I'm becoming increasingly concerned about what I'm going to do about some of our planned times away. I don't want to share a room with her at the conference center at the beginning of July. I don't know how we'll deal with the wet linens there. I've been telling myself she'd stop wetting the bed before we went there. I'm no longer confident that the bed wetting is going to stop.
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I also have much to do this week, and it's a gray dreary week when trying to figure out what to wear is almost impossible with very cold mornings and warm afternoons. I find myself grieving more than I have for my parents, and there are many reasons that the grief is fresh and real right now.
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I'm fighting some kind of stomach bug, and that has me dragging. The house is an absolute mess, and tomorrow I have electricians coming to update the electrical. This house was built in 1900, so the electrical system in interesting, to say the least. They are going to install lights in our closets, which are deep and dark. I'm looking forward to that, and am surprised that the trustees approved the very long wish list I gave the electricians. I told the trustees, "You don't need to do all of it, but since work needed to be done, I thought it important that you know everything that might be helpful. I told the electrician I was surprised they agreed to do everything. His comment: "They must really like you."
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I haven't heard anymore from the church that is supposedly arranging to hear me preach next month. The ongoing search is taking its toll on me.
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I have decided it's time for a change of scenery. I'm packing up my computer and a few books and headed to Town and a fast food place. I'll hang out there and hopefully that will motivate me to be productive. I have three people participating in a dramatic Proclamation of the Word for this Sunday, and I promised them I'd have a rough draft to them by this evening. The ideas are floating around, but nothing has been written yet. I hope it will go quickly when I start to write.
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After I do some work, I'll go visit one nursing home. I've been putting it off, because one of the men I need to visit there reminds me of Dad. I've been dealing with enough triggers without seeking them out, but I'm not going to punish him because he reminds me of Dad. I'll go, and hope the visit will trigger good memories. If not, I'll have the 14 mile drive home to cry. Maybe a good cry is just what I need right now.
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