Getting to the Cause

Daughter came home today and it was pretty obvious something had happened that had bothered her. It always takes a while to get to the real problem. She wouldn't want to make it easy on me. She said she'd had "blood sugar problems," but refused to elaborate. I finally took her meter and checked the memory-- her numbers looked good to me. Then she claimed she'd been abused. First it was physical, then it was verbal. She claimed a couple of guys had called her the "n word." The story was vague and changing, so I doubted it had actually happened.

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Finally, the story came out. They still have sub supervising the gift shop. Daughter's blood sugar was 92 before lunch, so the woman wouldn't let her take her insulin. The order says no insulin if her blood sugar is below 90. Daughter argued and asked her to call me. She refused to call me and wouldn't let Daughter call me. She told Daughter to heat up her lunch, and then had her sit and wait 15 minutes and recheck. It was 85, so she told Daughter she'd been right. By then, Daughter's lunch was cold. She said, "Mom, I'm not safe there."

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We have had this problem before. Daughter will advocate for herself or try to explain her diabetes, and they refuse to listen. It is written in her case plan that she is to be allowed to call me any time, no matter what. She's called before when she disagrees with what they are telling her to do. Usually I tell her she's right, we do it differently at home, but because they are so concerned for her safety, they are being especially careful and it's okay to do what they're telling her. Today I probably would have told the supervisor that the order said no insulin if her blood sugar was under 90, but since it was so close to 90, she should have Daughter take her insulin after she ate lunch.

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I think that next time there's a sub, I'll just keep Daughter home. They are all afraid of Daughter (or maybe it's me they fear). Daughter picks up on their fear, and she gets anxious. For her to feel safe, she needs to know that the supervisor is calm and confident. She needs to know that she can call me anytime. I've explained this in very simple terms, but I think my explanations just scare them more. The sub called me with a question about the diabetes last week, and was all apologetic. I assured her that I didn't mind answering question, and she could call me anytime she had one. I reassured her that she didn't need to do anything for a blood sugar that was a little high. I suggested that she give Daughter something to focus on other than how she felt, and she'd no longer feel weak. She seemed grateful and relieved. Why didn't she do the same thing today? It would have saved everyone from a great deal of stress.