Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Counterproductive

Sometimes I find myself pondering whether or not my efforts with Daughter are counterproductive. Psychiatrist pointed out Monday that she seeks out drama. I have been limiting the opportunities for drama, and sometimes I think it just makes her more creative in her search for it.
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Sunday she informed me that she'd wanted very badly to have a low blood sugar during worship. I patted myself on the back for keeping the insulin locked away from her. I also have door alarms on all the pantry doors. I currently have possession of her cell phone, and I've limited her time at the workshop. It's getting harder for her to find drama.
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She stops drinking and when I'm busy working on the newsletter informs me she has a UTI. This morning she got up, growled, "sorry" at me, and then announced she was going to the gift shop today instead of staying home to help with the senior luncheon. I haven't said anything yet. I'll have to at some point. I'll have to get her insulin and pills. It's frustrating, because to keep her alive I have to do things for her, no matter how hateful she's been to me.
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One of the things that led to last night's problems was my discovery that everything she'd told me had been a lie. She'd wet the bed. She hadn't cleaned out the litter boxes. She hadn't cleaned her bedroom and picked the clothes off her closet floor. The only thing she had been successful at was lying. Of course, telling me the lies and waiting for me to discover the truth was a way to create drama. Last night she won. I lost my cool. Despite my best efforts, she found a way to create drama. Like I said, there are times when I find myself wondering if all my efforts are counterproductive.

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