A New Plan

I thought Daughter was doing better, and she did seem to be better Monday and part of yesterday, but I had a couple over for counseling last night, which she saw as an excuse to return to old ways. She took a bag of unopened croutons up to her room and ate most of them. She slept on a comforter instead of sheets, meaning it will take at least two loads to wash her linens today. This morning she attempted to hide her cheese in the trash instead of eating it at breakfast.

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Of course, in her eyes, I'm the one who is causing all the problems. I'm being mean. I'm treating her poorly. I got called a choice name this morning. I shouldn't have called her on behavior. I didn't yell, I didn't rant and rave or threaten dire consequences, I calmly reminded her of the rules. Her own conscience, though, is creating guilt that she's trying to blame on me.

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It's time to try a new tactic. New tactics are getting much harder to find, unfortunately. This evening, I'm instituting a reverse sticker chart. I read about it in one of the forums here. I will get a sticker every time she is disrespectful, lies, or fails to follow the house ruled. After I get a certain number of stickers, I will get a treat. I have to figure out what my treat will be, but I'll come up with something. Hopefully it will help me get back the attitude I had on Sunday morning.

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One of the books I read on Reactive Attachment Disorder talked about the importance of being "predictably unpredictable." I know that the reverse sticker chart won't solve the problem forever, but that's okay. If it gives us a few good days, I'll be grateful.