Wednesday, April 14, 2010

A New Plan

I thought Daughter was doing better, and she did seem to be better Monday and part of yesterday, but I had a couple over for counseling last night, which she saw as an excuse to return to old ways. She took a bag of unopened croutons up to her room and ate most of them. She slept on a comforter instead of sheets, meaning it will take at least two loads to wash her linens today. This morning she attempted to hide her cheese in the trash instead of eating it at breakfast.
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Of course, in her eyes, I'm the one who is causing all the problems. I'm being mean. I'm treating her poorly. I got called a choice name this morning. I shouldn't have called her on behavior. I didn't yell, I didn't rant and rave or threaten dire consequences, I calmly reminded her of the rules. Her own conscience, though, is creating guilt that she's trying to blame on me.
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It's time to try a new tactic. New tactics are getting much harder to find, unfortunately. This evening, I'm instituting a reverse sticker chart. I read about it in one of the forums here. I will get a sticker every time she is disrespectful, lies, or fails to follow the house ruled. After I get a certain number of stickers, I will get a treat. I have to figure out what my treat will be, but I'll come up with something. Hopefully it will help me get back the attitude I had on Sunday morning.
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One of the books I read on Reactive Attachment Disorder talked about the importance of being "predictably unpredictable." I know that the reverse sticker chart won't solve the problem forever, but that's okay. If it gives us a few good days, I'll be grateful.

2 comments:

maeve said...

I love the idea of the reverse sticker chart. I used it with Miss K a few years ago and I'm thinking of starting it again since her great grades got her a scholarship, so she's fallen into the black hole grade-wise. Interesting, huh?

Let me know what your rewards are...I need to do some thinking about this. Maybe I'll take naps on week-ends when she thinks her friends should come over. Not. I'll be sleeping as a reward.

Reverend Mom said...

It was your post that gave me the idea. I'll let you know how I flesh it out. I'm sorry to hear about Miss K-- their capacity to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory is truly amazing.