The Decision

In a little while I will be heading to Town to begin the enrollment process for the adult daycare center. The good news is that there is another young woman Daughter knows who attends 3 days a week (and the days I was thinking about enrolling Daughter). The better news is that her waiver may cover all (or some) of the cost.

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Some of the things I heard last night:

• Pregnant Best Friend has been pressuring Daughter to get married and pregnant because, as Daughter puts it, "It's a wonderful feeling to have your feet swell up and have to sit with your feet elevated and not be able to do anything." I think she was being sarcastic.
• Flasher has an engagement ring he intends to bring to Daughter (not sure how reliable he is).
• Flasher is on probation for assault.
• Daughter knows she wouldn't be safe with Flasher, but thinks he has lots of money.
• There are lots of interpersonal conflicts that Daughter gets drawn into, and she often feels the need to protect her friends from verbal abuse.

Now this morning, Daughter called me, sobbing, from the bus. She's afraid and not sure she wants to make this change. This was more in line with what I expected from her. She has a very difficult time with change, and I was amazed by how happy she was last night. Her happiness about the possibility was really what convinced me that it was the right move. This won't be easy, but I think it is a very important thing to do for Daughter's emotional well being.

Three years ago she was doing so well that we (Therapist and I) allowed her to make contact with her birth mother. She hasn't done well since, and we've always had some circumstance we could point to as the reason: contact with birth family, grandparents decline and death. She has adjusted to the reality that she can't have contact with her birth family because it is such a powerful trigger for her PTSD. She has dealt with the death of her grandparents. The only stress left in her life is the workshop. I'm hoping that in time this move will give me back the delightful Daughter I was enjoying 3 years ago. That is my hope and prayer.