It's been a busy week, and a mixed one. At this point, I'm trying very hard to focus on the good things and not let the one major frustration get to me. We have a huge memorial service coming up on the 14th. I met with the family last Sunday, and they promised to get me a bunch of information so I could have a draft of the service ready for them when we meet again this Sunday. Wednesday I said I needed the material by 9:00 Thursday if they wanted to see a draft. Yesterday evening I asked for an update and an estimate as to when they might be able to get the material to me. I have heard nothing. I should just resign myself to not having anything for them to look at Sunday, but I keep hoping they'll get the material to me and I can put something together and get it to Administrative Assistant today. It's supposed to be my day off, but if the information comes in, I will want to work with it. I'm frustrated that they haven't even given me an update or estimate as to when they will get the material to me....
I need to let that go, and focus instead on the good things. We had an awesome book discussion Wednesday night. We started with 3 people last month, and we're now up to 10. The discussion was great. A woman who has been visiting worship the last few weeks came and was very engaged in the discussion. I'm looking forward to our next gathering on Wednesday.
I have the sermon for Sunday pretty much done. I need to finalize the PowerPoint, and even that is close to done. I have a list of things I'd like to get done around the house today-- it is my day off, and I am going to take it. Daughter is happy, and we had a good visit yesterday evening and this morning. I am picking her up tomorrow afternoon, and she'll stay until after lunch on Sunday. There are many more joys right now, so I'm going to set the frustration aside for now.
Friday, October 5, 2012
Monday, October 1, 2012
Daughter's Meeting
Last night Daughter called and told me she didn't want to continue at the workshop. She claimed it wasn't for her. She made similar comments in a phone call this morning. It was an interesting meeting. After much drama, she is staying, and we'll meet again in January to discuss increasing her days there. Among the highlights:
- Apparently one of the staff members has been verbally abusive and physically threatened another program participant.
- A staff member at her house is telling Daughter that she should be living in an apartment on her own, and has questioned why I placed her in that house.
- She'd been there 4 Mondays, but had only gotten one pay check for $2.50, so she wasn't experiencing any reward for her work. When her second pay check was located and given to her, her entire attitude changed.
- She is scared. She is afraid she is going to be pushed to take on too much responsibility before she is ready.
- The new manager of the program she attends 4 days a week is amazing. Her background is as a therapist at a residential treatment center for children. She said Daughter reminds her of the kids she saw there. She was very good at drawing information out of Daughter, and was instrumental in helping Daughter tell the story of the staff member whose behavior so scares her.
- I'm getting Daughter some noise blocking head phones for her ipod so she can block out distractions, and I'm taking her shopping Thursday evening so she can spend the almost $11 she has earned so far.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Long Day
Today has been a long day. When I finally got home 10 hours after leaving, I was exhausted. It is a good exhausted, though. This morning I had 5 people come to the class on contemplative prayer. I started with none, and last week had 1, so this was wonderful. They liked what we did a lot. I told them to go out and recruit more people. It was one of those days when everyone wanted a minute after the worship service. It was an hour before I was able to leave. I took Daughter to lunch, and then I dropped her off with one of the saints, who had offered to take her shopping and then home. Daughter was excited, to say the least.
Then it was back to the church to gather the information for the nominating committee. I trained them, and then headed out to visit with the family of the woman who died this week. The meeting started with some tension. They had planned out "the program," including 8 speakers, and it took a bit to convince them this was a worship service and we needed Scripture and prayer. By the time I left, they had relaxed and decided to trust me to pull things together. Trust within reason, of course, we're getting together again next Sunday afternoon. Hopefully it won't be for an other 2 hours. This memorial service is going to be quite an undertaking, and I'm grateful for 2 weeks to pull it together. They have a trio that is going to provide live music, so we'll have to arrange things to provide space for keyboard, drums, and saxophone.... They are expecting a huge crowd. The woman was well over 80, so normally I would be skeptical, but given what I know of this woman and her family, it's a definite possibility. Last year I had 4 funerals all year. This will be the 6th one this year. Given the age of this congregation, I'm sure that I will continue to do a number of funerals each year. One of the women commented on how hard this must be, doing all these funerals. I told her I consider it an honor. I truly do. It is truly a blessing to be able to walk with families through this difficult time. It also has the potential to be exhausting, and it looks like this one will be one of those.
This is a four night at the church week. I told Administrative Assistant today that I have to get Friday off this week. It's going to be important to get my time off. Tomorrow morning is the meeting to evaluate how Daughter is doing at the workshop. I anticipate developing a plan to increase her time at the workshop. We'll see.
Then it was back to the church to gather the information for the nominating committee. I trained them, and then headed out to visit with the family of the woman who died this week. The meeting started with some tension. They had planned out "the program," including 8 speakers, and it took a bit to convince them this was a worship service and we needed Scripture and prayer. By the time I left, they had relaxed and decided to trust me to pull things together. Trust within reason, of course, we're getting together again next Sunday afternoon. Hopefully it won't be for an other 2 hours. This memorial service is going to be quite an undertaking, and I'm grateful for 2 weeks to pull it together. They have a trio that is going to provide live music, so we'll have to arrange things to provide space for keyboard, drums, and saxophone.... They are expecting a huge crowd. The woman was well over 80, so normally I would be skeptical, but given what I know of this woman and her family, it's a definite possibility. Last year I had 4 funerals all year. This will be the 6th one this year. Given the age of this congregation, I'm sure that I will continue to do a number of funerals each year. One of the women commented on how hard this must be, doing all these funerals. I told her I consider it an honor. I truly do. It is truly a blessing to be able to walk with families through this difficult time. It also has the potential to be exhausting, and it looks like this one will be one of those.
This is a four night at the church week. I told Administrative Assistant today that I have to get Friday off this week. It's going to be important to get my time off. Tomorrow morning is the meeting to evaluate how Daughter is doing at the workshop. I anticipate developing a plan to increase her time at the workshop. We'll see.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Three Months
It took me three months, but I got it done. Back in June, I called about getting my computer repaired. The plan to take it in and get it done in one day fell apart. I struggled with the most efficient way to get it repaired, and finally decided to send it in. I'd be without it longer, but it wouldn't take me as long to do it. So, I transferred files to Daughter's computer and sent it in. It took two weeks, but 3 months after I made the first phone call, it was returned to me.
The repair shop had said I'd probably have to pay for the mouse because I wouldn't be able to prove it wasn't damaged some other way. On the packing slip, I described the problem as a "worn out mouse." They apparently agreed, because they repaired it for free, and I was pleasantly surprised to discover that not only did they replace the mouse, they replaced the keyboard and basically the entire top of my laptop. It may be that they had to do it that way, but I've replaced keyboards before on laptops, and both times I just had to replace the keyboard itself. They also updated the bios while they had it. It is back and it is wonderful. While Daughter's computer is newer than mine, it is cheap. I couldn't have as many windows open on it, and it couldn't keep up with my typing. I'm glad I went for a more expensive model when I bought this one 2 1/2 years ago.
Today I transferred all the files I had written on Daughter's computer over to mine. I had worked on over 60 files. I knew I did a lot of writing, but that seemed excessive. It's good to be back on my computer, and nice that it is new and improved. All the keys have letters or abbreviations on the them now. I'd worn the paint off some of the old ones. I told Administrative Assistant that I think my service contract paid for itself with that repair. Laptops are the only thing I buy service contracts on, and I've had to make use of them several times. I'll keep this one running as long as the service contract will cover necessary repairs. Beyond that, I'll see.
I worked in the concession stand at the football game today. It was a busy day in the stand. I was cooking hot dogs. We sold lots of hot dogs. It was a beautiful day for football. Tomorrow I'll teach a class, lead worship, take Daughter out to lunch, and then train the nominating committee and meet with the family of the woman who died last week to plan her memorial service. It sounds like it's going to be another big one.
Daughter is here for the night. She wasn't too happy that I was going to be working the game today, but she managed without me. I picked her up after the game (though I made her wait until I'd gone to the bank and eaten supper.) I hope everyone has a wonderful Sunday. I'm looking forward to mine.
The repair shop had said I'd probably have to pay for the mouse because I wouldn't be able to prove it wasn't damaged some other way. On the packing slip, I described the problem as a "worn out mouse." They apparently agreed, because they repaired it for free, and I was pleasantly surprised to discover that not only did they replace the mouse, they replaced the keyboard and basically the entire top of my laptop. It may be that they had to do it that way, but I've replaced keyboards before on laptops, and both times I just had to replace the keyboard itself. They also updated the bios while they had it. It is back and it is wonderful. While Daughter's computer is newer than mine, it is cheap. I couldn't have as many windows open on it, and it couldn't keep up with my typing. I'm glad I went for a more expensive model when I bought this one 2 1/2 years ago.
Today I transferred all the files I had written on Daughter's computer over to mine. I had worked on over 60 files. I knew I did a lot of writing, but that seemed excessive. It's good to be back on my computer, and nice that it is new and improved. All the keys have letters or abbreviations on the them now. I'd worn the paint off some of the old ones. I told Administrative Assistant that I think my service contract paid for itself with that repair. Laptops are the only thing I buy service contracts on, and I've had to make use of them several times. I'll keep this one running as long as the service contract will cover necessary repairs. Beyond that, I'll see.
I worked in the concession stand at the football game today. It was a busy day in the stand. I was cooking hot dogs. We sold lots of hot dogs. It was a beautiful day for football. Tomorrow I'll teach a class, lead worship, take Daughter out to lunch, and then train the nominating committee and meet with the family of the woman who died last week to plan her memorial service. It sounds like it's going to be another big one.
Daughter is here for the night. She wasn't too happy that I was going to be working the game today, but she managed without me. I picked her up after the game (though I made her wait until I'd gone to the bank and eaten supper.) I hope everyone has a wonderful Sunday. I'm looking forward to mine.
Friday, September 28, 2012
Interesting Conversation
Yesterday evening Daughter was talking about Tiny Village, and the house we lived in there. She was speculating on what the church had done to get the house ready for the new pastor and his family. She remembered the night she almost set the house on fire. She wondered if they had painted over the scorch mark it left on her bedroom wall. I said I was sure they had repainted the room.
"Yes, they wouldn't want the new pastor to know that they had a pastor who had a child who was so disturbed she burned her hoodie."
Sometimes her insight amazes me. I had no response.
"Yes, they wouldn't want the new pastor to know that they had a pastor who had a child who was so disturbed she burned her hoodie."
Sometimes her insight amazes me. I had no response.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Happy Daughter, Unhappy Mom, Busy Pastor
Daughter went to an art festival today with her program. She tried to call and text me with a question while she was there, but I'd left my cell phone in the car, so didn't get the message until later. She wasn't frustrated or angry. When she called this evening, she was in a great mood. She told me about how awesome her day had been and described some of the art she had seen. No manipulation, no drama. It was wonderful.
I got an email, and the group home's pharmacy is having issues with her insurance. They are also lying to the group home. Pharmacy said they've been notifying me of her bill for over $1500 and had told me about the problem getting her test strips covered. I had received a bill from them recently that showed a balance of less than $1,000. It was only the second bill I received from them. Each time I called their billing department and the woman looked at Daughter's account and said it had been billed improperly and I didn't need to worry about the bill, she'd take care of it. I responded to the group home with details of the bills I have received and reported the day I called and who I talked to. I told them I didn't have time to do more right now, and they could figure it out. I haven't had a response.
Ministry continues to be busy. The wife of a couple that has been married for over 60 years was diagnosed with cancer last week. She went back into the hospital Monday, and today the family pulled all support. She is pretty much unresponsive. I spent some time with them this afternoon. Her husband is grieving. It all has moved relatively quickly. It's another loss for the congregation. I found myself fighting back tears as I prayed with them today. Three years ago this week my Dad died. I led a book study tonight. This was the third week, and the class size has more than doubled. Administrative Assistant was right on when she said she thought the young person's death on September 8 sent a shock wave through the congregation that slowed down their getting on board with the various educational opportunities.
It's been another busy day, and a good one.
I got an email, and the group home's pharmacy is having issues with her insurance. They are also lying to the group home. Pharmacy said they've been notifying me of her bill for over $1500 and had told me about the problem getting her test strips covered. I had received a bill from them recently that showed a balance of less than $1,000. It was only the second bill I received from them. Each time I called their billing department and the woman looked at Daughter's account and said it had been billed improperly and I didn't need to worry about the bill, she'd take care of it. I responded to the group home with details of the bills I have received and reported the day I called and who I talked to. I told them I didn't have time to do more right now, and they could figure it out. I haven't had a response.
Ministry continues to be busy. The wife of a couple that has been married for over 60 years was diagnosed with cancer last week. She went back into the hospital Monday, and today the family pulled all support. She is pretty much unresponsive. I spent some time with them this afternoon. Her husband is grieving. It all has moved relatively quickly. It's another loss for the congregation. I found myself fighting back tears as I prayed with them today. Three years ago this week my Dad died. I led a book study tonight. This was the third week, and the class size has more than doubled. Administrative Assistant was right on when she said she thought the young person's death on September 8 sent a shock wave through the congregation that slowed down their getting on board with the various educational opportunities.
It's been another busy day, and a good one.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
To Laugh or to Cry
Administrative Assistant and I walked out together today. I wanted to go the grocery store, and I was taking advantage of a day with no evening commitments. I was quite proud of myself. I had remembered my cell phone, which I forget at least 3 times a week. I'd remembered the lunch box I left at the church yesterday. I was quite proud of myself, until I realized my fanny pack with my wallet in it was still in my study. So once again, I pulled around and parked by the door and ran in to pick up something I'd forgotten. If they ever check the alarm records, they will discover several times a week I have to turn around to go back in and get something I forgot.
So I got to the grocery store, and I actually had a list that I made after reading the weekly ads. I ran into a couple of people I know, so several conversations and almost $90 later, I came home. I walked to the curb to pick up the mail, and realized why the lawn mowing went so quickly on Sunday. I was doing a diagonal pattern Sunday, so I started by going through the middle. Unfortunately, I forgot to mow the second side once I finished the first side. I did that Sunday, and didn't even notice until today. I pondered going out to fix it, and finally decided to close the garage door and come sit in the family room, where I can't see it.
Sometimes I worry about my brain and how it's working and the lapses I have. Most of the time I laugh. I'm always grateful that my brain does work when it comes to writing, preaching, and leading....
So I got to the grocery store, and I actually had a list that I made after reading the weekly ads. I ran into a couple of people I know, so several conversations and almost $90 later, I came home. I walked to the curb to pick up the mail, and realized why the lawn mowing went so quickly on Sunday. I was doing a diagonal pattern Sunday, so I started by going through the middle. Unfortunately, I forgot to mow the second side once I finished the first side. I did that Sunday, and didn't even notice until today. I pondered going out to fix it, and finally decided to close the garage door and come sit in the family room, where I can't see it.
Sometimes I worry about my brain and how it's working and the lapses I have. Most of the time I laugh. I'm always grateful that my brain does work when it comes to writing, preaching, and leading....
I Love My Board
We had a church board meeting last night. I truly love my board. They are a wonderful group of people who are willing to share, struggle, and seek out new options as we move forward in ministry. We have been reading and discussing a book, and last night the chapter we discussed talked about how too often we develop new visions, but then maintain the same activities. The author suggested our real priority is maintenance. I shared my frustration in the lack of participation in the classes we're offering. As we discussed it, we realized that people are very reluctant to commit to one more thing. As the discussion continued, we decided to try a new model beginning in January. We will offer one time courses on a variety of spiritual and practical topics. We will open them up to the community, and offer them at different times as we find what works best. We're going to do something on funerals, and offer a session on estate planning. We may explore disaster assistance, and we'll spend some time on grief. We'll look at a variety of spiritual disciplines. We were excited about this opportunity to explore a different way to do education. I love the energy and ideas that come out of our board meetings.
I've got my energy back, which is wonderful. Daughter was at the workshop yesterday, and did well. Have I mentioned lately that I love my life?
I've got my energy back, which is wonderful. Daughter was at the workshop yesterday, and did well. Have I mentioned lately that I love my life?
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Recovered
I think I've recovered from whatever bug I had. I did nothing yesterday, but today I led a class, led worship, took Daughter out to lunch, attended a meeting, and then came home and mowed the lawn. I've got laundry in the washer and dryer. I've done the PowerPoint for Wednesday evening's adult ed. Tomorrow morning my walking partner will be here at 6:00 and we'll go for a 3 mile walk.
It feels like fall has arrived. We have a frost warning up for tonight, so I need to go out and harvest a bunch of peppers and tomatoes. I had a fire in my fireplace yesterday, which was wonderful. I really do love my life. I signed up to work the concession stand again next Saturday, so hopefully I will be up to it.
It feels like fall has arrived. We have a frost warning up for tonight, so I need to go out and harvest a bunch of peppers and tomatoes. I had a fire in my fireplace yesterday, which was wonderful. I really do love my life. I signed up to work the concession stand again next Saturday, so hopefully I will be up to it.
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Wrong Tactic
I slept in this morning, and have done nothing today, unless you count watching college football as something. Daughter called before 7:00 this morning, waking me up. I was not very receptive. It was a short conversation, and I went back to sleep. This afternoon I acknowledged to her that I did not go to the game because I'm not feeling well. She cried about missing me so much and wanting to come today. I assured her she could manage without me. I'm surprised she didn't try telling me she wanted to come take care of me since I'm not feeling well. Of course, she still might try that before the evening is over....
Saturday is hard on her. She doesn't do well with unstructured time. They didn't have an outing planned for today, apparently. She said they went to the grocery store, but that was all. She has a keyboard, TV, DVD/VCR and a variety of art supplies in her room. She just has a hard time entertaining herself. It's one of the reasons I refuse to allow her to quit her program. She has to have structure.
Saturday is hard on her. She doesn't do well with unstructured time. They didn't have an outing planned for today, apparently. She said they went to the grocery store, but that was all. She has a keyboard, TV, DVD/VCR and a variety of art supplies in her room. She just has a hard time entertaining herself. It's one of the reasons I refuse to allow her to quit her program. She has to have structure.
Friday, September 21, 2012
A Bug
I was at the church for a while this morning-- and didn't have much of a voice. The concession manager was there and decided he doesn't need me to work tomorrow, which is good. I came home and had some soup, and I've been relaxing since. I don't know if I'm coming down with something or if I'm simply exhausted.
I haven't told Daughter I'm not working at the game tomorrow. I need a day alone. A quiet day. I need to be recovered by Sunday.
I haven't told Daughter I'm not working at the game tomorrow. I need a day alone. A quiet day. I need to be recovered by Sunday.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Already?
This week has flown by. While it has been less frantic in the office, there has still been a great deal of work, much of it of the catching up variety. I asked Administrative Assistant where the week had gone. I've had a number of things that have taken me out of the office, from calling on sick folks to the ministerial association and my peer group retreat.
Daughter is much better at handling my busy weeks now. She is much more accepting when I don't have time to talk to her, and is generally only calling twice a day. It is wonderful progress for her. I hope to blog more soon.
Daughter is much better at handling my busy weeks now. She is much more accepting when I don't have time to talk to her, and is generally only calling twice a day. It is wonderful progress for her. I hope to blog more soon.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Recovering
The pace in the office this week is much more relaxed. Administrative Assistant had our "We survived!" lunch today. It was good to get out of the office. Sister Best Friend and I have planned sermon themes through Epiphany (January 6) and now I'm at a retreat center with some colleagues. We enjoyed a wonderful evening of fellowship and conversation. It was good to catch up with everyone after a long summer.
Tomorrow we will be reflecting on work and balance and such. Always important topics for us. Daughter seems to be doing well. She is calling less and is happier when she does call. It's nice.
I'm back to walking in the mornings. We walked Monday and Tuesday and will walk again on Thursday. For now, I think it's time to get some sleep....
Tomorrow we will be reflecting on work and balance and such. Always important topics for us. Daughter seems to be doing well. She is calling less and is happier when she does call. It's nice.
I'm back to walking in the mornings. We walked Monday and Tuesday and will walk again on Thursday. For now, I think it's time to get some sleep....
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Three for Three
Last week I was joking in the office. People were telling me how much they liked last Sunday and the memorial service. I said, "Yes, and you expect me to do it again on Sunday." Several people suggested I pull a sermon from the file, but I don't work that way. One of the men said, "Well, hey, two out of three is pretty good, don't worry about it."
This morning after worship he walked by as I was talking to someone. He didn't stop, but as he passed me he said, "Three for three." I called my thanks after him while everyone else looked puzzled.
I'm still tired, but I'm recovering. Tomorrow morning I'll start walking at 6:00 again. I signed up to work at the concession booth for next Saturday's football game. I recruited a member to pick up Daughter for worship next Sunday. I don't want to deal with her after the game.
She did pretty well while she was here. Last night, though, she got up and ate a banana. She felt guilty this morning, and when she feels guilty, she gets ugly. She spent the morning growling at me. I asked her if the banana was worth it, because she sure did sound miserable.
I think this week will be quieter. I hope it will be. I told Administrative Assistant that we are going to lunch Tuesday to celebrate surviving the past 3 weeks. She thought that was a good idea. She also told me she has been summoned to jury duty in October. It's still September, so I'm not going to think about it yet....
This morning after worship he walked by as I was talking to someone. He didn't stop, but as he passed me he said, "Three for three." I called my thanks after him while everyone else looked puzzled.
I'm still tired, but I'm recovering. Tomorrow morning I'll start walking at 6:00 again. I signed up to work at the concession booth for next Saturday's football game. I recruited a member to pick up Daughter for worship next Sunday. I don't want to deal with her after the game.
She did pretty well while she was here. Last night, though, she got up and ate a banana. She felt guilty this morning, and when she feels guilty, she gets ugly. She spent the morning growling at me. I asked her if the banana was worth it, because she sure did sound miserable.
I think this week will be quieter. I hope it will be. I told Administrative Assistant that we are going to lunch Tuesday to celebrate surviving the past 3 weeks. She thought that was a good idea. She also told me she has been summoned to jury duty in October. It's still September, so I'm not going to think about it yet....
Friday, September 14, 2012
Catch Up
Daughter and I had eye appointments this morning, and after dropping off the recycling, I headed into the church. I now have to do all the things I didn't make time to do this week, starting with scanning a form Far Away Sister needs to sign as Daughter's back up guardian. It arrived Monday with an official notice that I was delinquent in filing my annual report. I need to get that done and back to the court before I have to appear at a hearing. I also finally sent off my computer for repairs. The box arrived Monday, and had been sitting on a chair in my study since then.
Administrative Assistant was working on bulletins. Some of the property guys were in the office making buttons for the concession workers. One had suggested Administrative Assistant could do it. She said she threatened to throw the phone at him. They informed me that when they saw me coming they got busy so I wouldn't think they were bugging Administrative Assistant. Our pianist has tendinitis in her hand, and has informed us it is looking like she will need surgery. Choir Director informed me last night that we needed to find a long term sub. He had been calculating recovery time, and is not optimistic. I'm trying to coordinate a meeting with the appropriate people to set a process in motion for finding someone. It's a challenge, coordinating calendars, but we'll figure it out.
AA and I are both exhausted after 3 over full weeks. Both of us ended up asking our daughters to stop talking last night. Daughter is rather frustrated with me right now because I'm not much fun when I'm this exhausted.
I need to clean the kitchen and round up all the mail that I've been ignoring all week. I took Daughter out to lunch, and when we got back to the house, I sat down in a recliner and fell asleep. Hopefully I'll find some energy by tomorrow.
Administrative Assistant was working on bulletins. Some of the property guys were in the office making buttons for the concession workers. One had suggested Administrative Assistant could do it. She said she threatened to throw the phone at him. They informed me that when they saw me coming they got busy so I wouldn't think they were bugging Administrative Assistant. Our pianist has tendinitis in her hand, and has informed us it is looking like she will need surgery. Choir Director informed me last night that we needed to find a long term sub. He had been calculating recovery time, and is not optimistic. I'm trying to coordinate a meeting with the appropriate people to set a process in motion for finding someone. It's a challenge, coordinating calendars, but we'll figure it out.
AA and I are both exhausted after 3 over full weeks. Both of us ended up asking our daughters to stop talking last night. Daughter is rather frustrated with me right now because I'm not much fun when I'm this exhausted.
I need to clean the kitchen and round up all the mail that I've been ignoring all week. I took Daughter out to lunch, and when we got back to the house, I sat down in a recliner and fell asleep. Hopefully I'll find some energy by tomorrow.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Colleagues
I was very isolated in Tiny Village, here I am surrounded by colleagues, which is wonderful-- for the most part. I've had emails or facebook messages from several colleagues offering prayers and support as they knew about the death I was dealing with and how hard dealing with the death of a young person is. I saw a Local Colleague (as in his church is 2 houses and across the street from my house) from a different tradition last night at the visitation. I beckoned him out of the long line.
"I'm mad at you!"
He smiled knowingly and asked innocently, "Why?"
"Well because you go with the families to funeral homes and you host the visitations at the church, now I'm doing that!"
"It wasn't me, it was my secretary! She's the one who told Grieving Mom about our traditions!" Then he added,"When she told me, I said I'd be on your list." Then he got back in line and introduced me to his daughter and due in October grandson.
It added to the work of the week, but it really was a good thing to do, and I think it is the new tradition here. Our people worked hard and were here many hours ministering to the family and their guests. They all agreed it was a great way to do it. No one complained. We have decided we are going to write up what we learned and establish policies and guidelines. LC is going to bring me the written material he has next week when the local clergy gather for breakfast. I told him if he provided that, I'd forgive him.
Oh, and his secretary came up to me this morning, "I hear you're mad at me." We had a good conversation, and she's going to remind him that he needs to bring me material to our breakfast next week.
The visitation last night was big, as in line the whole length of the sanctuary out the door down the sidewalk and into the parking big. There were over 260 people at the service today, necessitating extra chairs and overflow parking on the grass. It went very well. The pianist said, "I've done a lot of funerals and that was one of the best. I'd say it was the best, but I don't want you to get a big head."
I am exhausted. It is a good exhausted. I know that God was at work here this week, and that good ministry happened. I know that the service today addressed the pain of the family and also celebrated the life of their loved one.
Daughter texted me this afternoon, informing me her day had been hell because they messed up her song on karaoke. I responded that had just done a funeral, reminded her how young the deceased was, and asked what kind of day she thought his family was having. She texted an apology.
She came home, storming in and slamming everything in sight, crying, being dramatic. Apparently the bus driver asked them to quiet down. I informed her that was the bus driver's right. When she saw I wasn't going to offer any sympathy, she dropped the drama and became cooperative, doing some tasks I asked her to do.
Now I need to go flesh out Sunday's sermon....
"I'm mad at you!"
He smiled knowingly and asked innocently, "Why?"
"Well because you go with the families to funeral homes and you host the visitations at the church, now I'm doing that!"
"It wasn't me, it was my secretary! She's the one who told Grieving Mom about our traditions!" Then he added,"When she told me, I said I'd be on your list." Then he got back in line and introduced me to his daughter and due in October grandson.
It added to the work of the week, but it really was a good thing to do, and I think it is the new tradition here. Our people worked hard and were here many hours ministering to the family and their guests. They all agreed it was a great way to do it. No one complained. We have decided we are going to write up what we learned and establish policies and guidelines. LC is going to bring me the written material he has next week when the local clergy gather for breakfast. I told him if he provided that, I'd forgive him.
Oh, and his secretary came up to me this morning, "I hear you're mad at me." We had a good conversation, and she's going to remind him that he needs to bring me material to our breakfast next week.
The visitation last night was big, as in line the whole length of the sanctuary out the door down the sidewalk and into the parking big. There were over 260 people at the service today, necessitating extra chairs and overflow parking on the grass. It went very well. The pianist said, "I've done a lot of funerals and that was one of the best. I'd say it was the best, but I don't want you to get a big head."
I am exhausted. It is a good exhausted. I know that God was at work here this week, and that good ministry happened. I know that the service today addressed the pain of the family and also celebrated the life of their loved one.
Daughter texted me this afternoon, informing me her day had been hell because they messed up her song on karaoke. I responded that had just done a funeral, reminded her how young the deceased was, and asked what kind of day she thought his family was having. She texted an apology.
She came home, storming in and slamming everything in sight, crying, being dramatic. Apparently the bus driver asked them to quiet down. I informed her that was the bus driver's right. When she saw I wasn't going to offer any sympathy, she dropped the drama and became cooperative, doing some tasks I asked her to do.
Now I need to go flesh out Sunday's sermon....
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Addressing the Stress
Yesterday both Administrative Assistant and I were stressed. The work was literally overwhelming. I stayed last night and worked on the memorial service, heading home about 9:45 when I was confident I'd figured out the flow and how to fit everything in. This morning I realized that
AA was stressing over payroll and bills. So when she arrived this morning, I informed her I would handle the phone and deal with visitors so she could have some uninterrupted time to get those done. I kew there would be a number of people calling this morning wanting information about the visitation today and the memorial servce tomorrow. For the most part, that worked. There was once when she had to pick up a call because I was already busy with a call. There was one call that only she could take. But she got payroll and bills done-- though she did suggest my assistance was mercenary-- I wanted to make sure I got my paycheck.
Once those were done, the mood lightened in the office. I'm pretty much done with the memorial service. The bulletin for Sunday is done. I even have the first draft of a sermon outline. It's something I need to keep relearning-- address the major source of stress first and other things will fall into place. At this point, we're both confident that we will survive the week and accomplish the things that need to be accomplished. When she went home yesterday, we weren't too sure about that....
AA was stressing over payroll and bills. So when she arrived this morning, I informed her I would handle the phone and deal with visitors so she could have some uninterrupted time to get those done. I kew there would be a number of people calling this morning wanting information about the visitation today and the memorial servce tomorrow. For the most part, that worked. There was once when she had to pick up a call because I was already busy with a call. There was one call that only she could take. But she got payroll and bills done-- though she did suggest my assistance was mercenary-- I wanted to make sure I got my paycheck.
Once those were done, the mood lightened in the office. I'm pretty much done with the memorial service. The bulletin for Sunday is done. I even have the first draft of a sermon outline. It's something I need to keep relearning-- address the major source of stress first and other things will fall into place. At this point, we're both confident that we will survive the week and accomplish the things that need to be accomplished. When she went home yesterday, we weren't too sure about that....
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Prioritizing
I didn't get home until almost 10:00 last night, and I knew I would need some time to wind down before I could sleep, not to mention eat supper. I decided I would not be getting up at 5:00 this morning to go for a walk. I slept until 7:00. Walk could go, morning prayer time had to stay.
I met with the family this morning to gather information for the memorial service. It was a good meeting. Of course, I decided that I couldn't go with my standard format, which adds to the work involved.
While I was meeting with the family, Administrative Assistant was comforting the wife of a man who is in the hospital. She didn't say what hospital, but I need to call and find out how he's doing. I may need to go visit.
Tonight I have to figure out the order of the memorial service, because the bulletin needs to go to print tomorrow. We plan to print 250 of them. We have been recruiting volunteers for every task we possibly can. Of course, when they come over to do a task, they have to stop in and chat. They have things set up for the visitation tomorrow and the meal following the service on Thursday. We have people working on music and recruiting hosts for the visitation and to clean up following it.
We're tracking down musicians and a teacher/coach has volunteered to provide students to do childcare. We're fortunate to have so many eager volunteers, and it's a lot of work to coordinate it all. I think it will all come together. In the midst of all of this I still have to lead a book study tomorrow night and prepare a class and worship service for Sunday. At least I won't be bored this week!
I met with the family this morning to gather information for the memorial service. It was a good meeting. Of course, I decided that I couldn't go with my standard format, which adds to the work involved.
While I was meeting with the family, Administrative Assistant was comforting the wife of a man who is in the hospital. She didn't say what hospital, but I need to call and find out how he's doing. I may need to go visit.
Tonight I have to figure out the order of the memorial service, because the bulletin needs to go to print tomorrow. We plan to print 250 of them. We have been recruiting volunteers for every task we possibly can. Of course, when they come over to do a task, they have to stop in and chat. They have things set up for the visitation tomorrow and the meal following the service on Thursday. We have people working on music and recruiting hosts for the visitation and to clean up following it.
We're tracking down musicians and a teacher/coach has volunteered to provide students to do childcare. We're fortunate to have so many eager volunteers, and it's a lot of work to coordinate it all. I think it will all come together. In the midst of all of this I still have to lead a book study tomorrow night and prepare a class and worship service for Sunday. At least I won't be bored this week!
Monday, September 10, 2012
Challenging
This week is going to be very challenging. All funerals/memorial services take time, but with someone so young and so well-loved, they take even longer. I was out of the office much of the day as the family asked me to accompany them to the funeral home. The time I have been in the office has been drop-in visitors and phone calls, most related to the death. Fortunately, Administrative Assistant will be in tomorrow and will protect me from some of that, which will make it easier for me to get some work done.
Today was Daughter's second day at the workshop. She just called, very happy. Her day went well. She more than doubled her work output. I'm grateful. The phone calls and drop-ins should slow down now, since the office is usually closed by now. Maybe I can actually get some bigger tasks that require uninterrupted time done now.
Today was Daughter's second day at the workshop. She just called, very happy. Her day went well. She more than doubled her work output. I'm grateful. The phone calls and drop-ins should slow down now, since the office is usually closed by now. Maybe I can actually get some bigger tasks that require uninterrupted time done now.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Faith
When I arrived here almost two years ago, the congregation was praying for a young adult who was battling cancer. We prayed through all sorts of treatments and problems. Everyone was concerned for this young adult and the family. A couple of weeks ago the oncologist finally acknowledged what many of us had been whispering for weeks. He couldn't promise a cure. Last night the individual died. It was sudden, if you can say that after a long drawn out battle with cancer.
A member called me, obviously distressed. She was on her way to pick up the father to take him to the apartment about an hour away. Mother and sibling had been on their way when they received news of the death. They didn't want father to make the trip alone. Another church friend went over to their home when they got back, staying until 1:00 in the morning. I spoke to them briefly on the phone. They didn't want me to come, but they wanted me to know. We started the prayer chain. Administrative Assistant and I conferred. It was decided to pull a humorous video promotion. I decided that I needed to address this before worship began this morning.
The members were gathering and hugging one another as they arrived, and as it was almost time to begin, someone told me the father had just entered the church. By the time I got back to greet him, the mother and the sibling (with spouse and children) had entered. They took their normal seats up front and on the side. After the other announcements, I stood and spoke of what had happened, and how it was hard to understand after all our prayers. Then I said that while the individual had not been cured, they had been healed, and now we needed to pray for healing for the family as they grieved. I told people they could sign up to bring food the funeral dinner, though we didn't have a time yet, and that the family would be collecting hugs following the service. Then we prayed for them and went on with the service.
The family held hands through the service, and at one point I saw a woman standing behind the mother with her arms on her shoulders, just being present with her as she cried. In the midst of their grief, though, they talked about the healing that death had brought. There was no more pain or nausea. They spoke of family members who been on hand to welcome the individual to heaven. They smiled and chuckled some, too.
I had a super busy week ahead. The whole schedule just got thrown out of the window. On the day I was supposed to journey to an all day meeting over 2 hours away, I will meet with the family. On the day I was supposed to attend an afternoon meeting over an hour away, I will be leading a memorial service.
Some people were surprised to see the family in worship this morning. I was glad they were there. They are people of faith, and they needed to be with their family of faith this morning. I am sure they are glad they were there. They told me they were grateful for my comments prior to the service, as were a number of others. It was interesting, because this service, which had been in the planning stages for several months, was so appropriate for today. The choir sang this anthem. It was the theme of the service, and seemed especially appropriate today.
A member called me, obviously distressed. She was on her way to pick up the father to take him to the apartment about an hour away. Mother and sibling had been on their way when they received news of the death. They didn't want father to make the trip alone. Another church friend went over to their home when they got back, staying until 1:00 in the morning. I spoke to them briefly on the phone. They didn't want me to come, but they wanted me to know. We started the prayer chain. Administrative Assistant and I conferred. It was decided to pull a humorous video promotion. I decided that I needed to address this before worship began this morning.
The members were gathering and hugging one another as they arrived, and as it was almost time to begin, someone told me the father had just entered the church. By the time I got back to greet him, the mother and the sibling (with spouse and children) had entered. They took their normal seats up front and on the side. After the other announcements, I stood and spoke of what had happened, and how it was hard to understand after all our prayers. Then I said that while the individual had not been cured, they had been healed, and now we needed to pray for healing for the family as they grieved. I told people they could sign up to bring food the funeral dinner, though we didn't have a time yet, and that the family would be collecting hugs following the service. Then we prayed for them and went on with the service.
The family held hands through the service, and at one point I saw a woman standing behind the mother with her arms on her shoulders, just being present with her as she cried. In the midst of their grief, though, they talked about the healing that death had brought. There was no more pain or nausea. They spoke of family members who been on hand to welcome the individual to heaven. They smiled and chuckled some, too.
I had a super busy week ahead. The whole schedule just got thrown out of the window. On the day I was supposed to journey to an all day meeting over 2 hours away, I will meet with the family. On the day I was supposed to attend an afternoon meeting over an hour away, I will be leading a memorial service.
Some people were surprised to see the family in worship this morning. I was glad they were there. They are people of faith, and they needed to be with their family of faith this morning. I am sure they are glad they were there. They told me they were grateful for my comments prior to the service, as were a number of others. It was interesting, because this service, which had been in the planning stages for several months, was so appropriate for today. The choir sang this anthem. It was the theme of the service, and seemed especially appropriate today.
What I will do this week is among the hardest things I do as a pastor. It is also one of the parts that I most treasure. I tell families it is an honor to accompany them on this journey. I was reflecting this morning on the fact that the last two deaths have been of people who are younger than I am. I guess that is part of growing older. I'm glad I am a pastor. I am glad I am in ministry with this congregation at this time. I did warn Administrative Assistant to rest up on her day off tomorrow, because we are in for another challenging week. Saturday, September 8, 2012
The Aftermath
Nurse sent me an email acknowledging she had promised to allow me to look over the plan, and assuring me I still could and I still could and nothing had been finalized. She was waiting to have it typed. (I find this amazing-- I very seldom give Administrative Assistant something to type. I may give her a document with handwritten edits, but I find it much easier to write on the computer.) She had given the staff (and trained them) on a handwritten plan and told them it wasn't final. I find that amazing. You train them on something that may or may not be right?
The individual who typed it emailed me the plan. I read over it and sent it back with lots of comments. I found it confusing and very poorly written. It started by talking about syringes which Daughter won't be using at program, only at bedtime for her long-acting insulin. The instructions for handling low blood sugars was incorrect. There was no mention of the afternoon blood sugar check that they had questions about. I know she received my edits, because she sent out an email to the group stating that she had them and now was waiting to hear from the dietitian. Interestingly, apparently she didn't tell the dietitian the in service was taking place either, because she sent an email expressing surprise that it had already taken place.
Nurse claimed she was trying to appease everyone and would never bypass me. (Interesting, since she just did.) It will be interesting to see what she does with my edits. I was tempted to rewrite the entire document, but refrained. Nurses tend not to like me very much, probably because I know more about Daughter's diabetes than they do. I don't think they can be experts on diabetes without additional specialized training, and they know much more than I do in other areas. My experience has been, though, that the nurses connected with programs Daughter is in are not comfortable with my expertise. I always tell them I'm not an expert on diabetes in general, just Daughter's particular diabetes.
Daughter goes back to the program on Monday, and at this point she will be going without a finalized plan. Sigh. Maybe we can get it finalized by the following Monday....
The individual who typed it emailed me the plan. I read over it and sent it back with lots of comments. I found it confusing and very poorly written. It started by talking about syringes which Daughter won't be using at program, only at bedtime for her long-acting insulin. The instructions for handling low blood sugars was incorrect. There was no mention of the afternoon blood sugar check that they had questions about. I know she received my edits, because she sent out an email to the group stating that she had them and now was waiting to hear from the dietitian. Interestingly, apparently she didn't tell the dietitian the in service was taking place either, because she sent an email expressing surprise that it had already taken place.
Nurse claimed she was trying to appease everyone and would never bypass me. (Interesting, since she just did.) It will be interesting to see what she does with my edits. I was tempted to rewrite the entire document, but refrained. Nurses tend not to like me very much, probably because I know more about Daughter's diabetes than they do. I don't think they can be experts on diabetes without additional specialized training, and they know much more than I do in other areas. My experience has been, though, that the nurses connected with programs Daughter is in are not comfortable with my expertise. I always tell them I'm not an expert on diabetes in general, just Daughter's particular diabetes.
Daughter goes back to the program on Monday, and at this point she will be going without a finalized plan. Sigh. Maybe we can get it finalized by the following Monday....
Friday, September 7, 2012
Did You Hear the Explosion?
My heart is still racing. I think it will be a while before it slows down. I mentioned that there were questions at the workshop regarding Daughter's diabetes care. Today I received an email to follow up on the in service and clarify the plan. The in service I wasn't notified of and the plan I haven't seen. Even worst, the clarification needed reflected ignorance of why Daughter's plan requires certain things. Because she has had lows on the bus/van on her way home, she checks her blood sugar before she heads home, and if it is below a certain number she eats a snack. So they wanted clarification on what to do about insulin at the afternoon check. They were asking the house to clarify, not me.
I admit my email was not the most pleasant. I pointed out I had been promised the opportunity to review and comment on the plan before it was finalized. I said as parent and guardian, I thought I had that right and responsibility. I also reminded them that I am the expert on Daughter, and I am the one who determines her treatment plan. Her doctor writes the prescriptions based on what I am doing. I'm sure they think I am terrible now. If they also know they'd best not exclude me, that's fine.
I admit my email was not the most pleasant. I pointed out I had been promised the opportunity to review and comment on the plan before it was finalized. I said as parent and guardian, I thought I had that right and responsibility. I also reminded them that I am the expert on Daughter, and I am the one who determines her treatment plan. Her doctor writes the prescriptions based on what I am doing. I'm sure they think I am terrible now. If they also know they'd best not exclude me, that's fine.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Better Mood
Therapist emailed to ask if Daughter's mood had improved since she saw her on Tuesday. She also wondered if I'd received my award for meanest mom of the year for telling Daughter she couldn't spend more time with me until she had a better attitude. I assured her Daughter's mood had definitely improved. She was talking about other living options for Daughter, but I told her no more changes for a while. She needs to settle in at the workshop first.
Today has been a little less frantic in the office. We have new website and new email addresses. Part of the password the webmaster set up for us is "newfun." I'm sure that eventually it will be fun, but for right now it's more "newpain." Choir starts tonight, and I hope to have all my work done for the week when I leave here this evening. I even think it is possible.
Today has been a little less frantic in the office. We have new website and new email addresses. Part of the password the webmaster set up for us is "newfun." I'm sure that eventually it will be fun, but for right now it's more "newpain." Choir starts tonight, and I hope to have all my work done for the week when I leave here this evening. I even think it is possible.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Independence
Daughter is becoming increasingly independent. She is calling me less frequently, and is taking more responsibility for her life. Last night I was talking to some church members, and they commented on how much they've seen Daughter change and grow in the last two years. It is very encouraging and a little scary to see her growth. At the house, some of the staff are telling her she should be living on her own. I still don't see that happening, but how much of that is simply me being over-protective?
Administrative Assistant and I continue to plug away on all the work involved in preparing for this Sunday's fall program kick-off. We are making progress, and there are lots of good things happening. As of this week, I'm back to my 3 evenings a week at the church schedule. It makes for some long days, but fortunately I love what I do.
Administrative Assistant and I continue to plug away on all the work involved in preparing for this Sunday's fall program kick-off. We are making progress, and there are lots of good things happening. As of this week, I'm back to my 3 evenings a week at the church schedule. It makes for some long days, but fortunately I love what I do.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Progress
Tonight we filled a childcare position at the church. When we advertised for it last spring, we didn't get a single response. We tried again this fall, and hired a young woman I think will work well for us this evening. It felt good to get that done.
When I arrived home I decided to take some things out to the compost pile. I turned on the switch to my new exterior light that didn't work the other day, and now it works. When I walked past it, it came on just like it is supposed to. I guess I did manage to connect the proper wires.
Daughter went to the doctor without me this morning. I told her she needed to find out what her A1C (average blood sugar) results were and remind the doctor we wanted to switch her birth control pill. She took care of both of those items. Her A1C was excellent. The only problem is we'll have to reschedule her next appointment. It's the same time as the annual review of her case plan.
I did some commentary work for my sermon this Sunday, and am excited about some new insights I received. It's been a good day.
When I arrived home I decided to take some things out to the compost pile. I turned on the switch to my new exterior light that didn't work the other day, and now it works. When I walked past it, it came on just like it is supposed to. I guess I did manage to connect the proper wires.
Daughter went to the doctor without me this morning. I told her she needed to find out what her A1C (average blood sugar) results were and remind the doctor we wanted to switch her birth control pill. She took care of both of those items. Her A1C was excellent. The only problem is we'll have to reschedule her next appointment. It's the same time as the annual review of her case plan.
I did some commentary work for my sermon this Sunday, and am excited about some new insights I received. It's been a good day.
Monday, September 3, 2012
A Better Day
AAH and ECG brought my car back last night with a charged battery and a diagnosis: the alternator needed to be replaced. It was the source of the noise I'd been ignoring in hopes it would go away. They had looked up information on line, and decided that they didn't want to do the work for me-- they didn't have the proper equipment to do it easily. I was just grateful for a car that would hopefully go in for repairs under its own power.
I went to bed a little after 9:00 last night, and was up before 5:00 this morning. At 7:00 I called the tire/auto service store less than a mile from here and asked if they could replace an alternator today. They didn't have any work (how many people are taking their cars in for service at 7:00 on a holiday?) I could have walked home, but I took my tablet and decided to wait. The guy told me they'd do a diagnostic first to make sure the problem was the alternator. I was not surprised when he determined it was, indeed, the alternator. It took a while to get the part, but they got it and installed it. I also got an oil change an had tires rotated and balanced and wheels aligned (which were part of the package I got when I purchased tires there tow years ago). The car is now quiet. The alternator had been complaining for months, but I'd been ignoring it. I was afraid to find out what it was (I thought it might be the transmission). They put the battery on the charger while they were working on the car, so the battery is now fully charged. I didn't get home until after 10:30.
I had read some more of a book I'm working on about ministry, and determined that I need to stay home and get some things done around the house today. There are some things I need to do around the house, and I need to get some things from the warehouse store. Daughter called to tell me she has an appointment with her primary care physician tomorrow morning. I'm frustrated that I wasn't notified by the house medical coordinator when she made the appointment. I have decided I'm not going to go, I don't want to take the time out of my work week. I want to have all my work done by Thursday evening so I can enjoy Friday and Saturday.
I'm grateful for the way the car issue worked out. It could have broken down along the highway on one of my trips. This breakdown resulted in minimal disruption to my plans, and none to my work. When I got home there was an email from a church member thanking me for yesterday's sermon. I love getting notes like that. Today is definitely a better day, and I'm grateful.
I went to bed a little after 9:00 last night, and was up before 5:00 this morning. At 7:00 I called the tire/auto service store less than a mile from here and asked if they could replace an alternator today. They didn't have any work (how many people are taking their cars in for service at 7:00 on a holiday?) I could have walked home, but I took my tablet and decided to wait. The guy told me they'd do a diagnostic first to make sure the problem was the alternator. I was not surprised when he determined it was, indeed, the alternator. It took a while to get the part, but they got it and installed it. I also got an oil change an had tires rotated and balanced and wheels aligned (which were part of the package I got when I purchased tires there tow years ago). The car is now quiet. The alternator had been complaining for months, but I'd been ignoring it. I was afraid to find out what it was (I thought it might be the transmission). They put the battery on the charger while they were working on the car, so the battery is now fully charged. I didn't get home until after 10:30.
I had read some more of a book I'm working on about ministry, and determined that I need to stay home and get some things done around the house today. There are some things I need to do around the house, and I need to get some things from the warehouse store. Daughter called to tell me she has an appointment with her primary care physician tomorrow morning. I'm frustrated that I wasn't notified by the house medical coordinator when she made the appointment. I have decided I'm not going to go, I don't want to take the time out of my work week. I want to have all my work done by Thursday evening so I can enjoy Friday and Saturday.
I'm grateful for the way the car issue worked out. It could have broken down along the highway on one of my trips. This breakdown resulted in minimal disruption to my plans, and none to my work. When I got home there was an email from a church member thanking me for yesterday's sermon. I love getting notes like that. Today is definitely a better day, and I'm grateful.
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Technology Hates Me
Today has been a frustrating day. A very frustrating day. Since my great plan to get my laptop fixed in one day while I was still on vacation failed, I've been lugging not only my laptop but a mouse and keyboard with me. It kind of defeats the purpose of having a laptop when you have to drag those around with you. This week I finally decided it was time to take action. After weighing my options and pondering cost and time, I decided to ship it in to get the mouse replaced. It's still under the extended warranty, so the repair will be free. I'll be without the computer for a few days, but I won't have to tie up over 4 hours in traveling to a repair shop to deliver it and back several days later to retrieve it.
I transferred my documents over to Daughter's computer and decided to begin using it now. Hopefully I'll be able anything I've forgotten from my computer before sending it in. I'm running Office 2007 on my laptop, and I'd installed Office 2010 on Daughter's. There are some minor differences, but I'll adjust. When I got to the church today, I realized I hadn't installed the printer drivers yet to print out my sermon. No problem. Windows quickly found the printer on the network, but couldn't find the printer driver (even after searching the web.) No problem. I know how to download drivers. I went to the manufacturer's website and started looking. It wasn't with the other drivers, but eventually I found the page that would get me to the proper driver. I got to the page and looked at a list of probably 100 files that had mysterious names. I had no clue what one I needed. I took my best guess, and when asked if I wanted to save it or run it, I chose to run it. It downloaded, and then told me I needed to unzip the file. Fine. I know how to do that. I didn't worry about where it put the files, I've done this before. So it told me it had successfully unzipped over 100 files. I quickly discovered it had unzipped them to a hidden system directory that I couldn't find. I was beginning to get frustrated. I finally found the directory, but there wasn't a setup file there. Administrative Assistant arrived. I told her I needed help. I emailed her the liturgy and PowerPoint, and she printed them out for me. Of course, I hadn't transferred my directory, so it wasn't as easy as it normally is to email her the files, but I managed.
Her son, the Engineer and Computer Geek was in town for the long weekend, so she suggested maybe he could figure out the problem. I retrieved what I needed from the printer and found ECG. I told him he'd been volunteered. He followed my back to my study. He began working. He finally told me he'd have to look at it again after worship.
I had a friend in worship this morning, so I wanted to go to lunch with her. ECG had installed drivers, but couldn't get a test page to print. The printer would make noise, but it would go back to sleep without printing. He was still working on it when I left to go to lunch. I thanked him for working on it and also for protecting my ego by struggling with it. AA had suggested we get the technician to come install the drivers, she thought that would be covered by our service contract, but her son wasn't ready to admit defeat. We had theorized that they intentionally made the drivers hard to install so that we'd have to pay for a service call.
I left with Daughter and my friend for lunch. On the way to the church, my car had warned me there were problems with the battery charging system. I was relieved when it started right up. We drove to a nearby restaurant and enjoyed a wonderful lunch. On the way back to the church, more warnings appeared. The stability control system wasn't working. There was a problem with the anti-lock brakes. It was going into battery saving mode. I pulled into the parking lot and stopped near my friend's car. I decided to pull into a parking place and grab the computer (and see if he'd succeeded). When I tried to move the car, I realized the power steering was gone.
I got inside and found a print test page on my computer. ECG had beaten one bit of technology into submission. I called AA and told her I needed to be rescued, I was having car trouble at the church. She said she'd take care of it. A few minutes later her Administrative Assistant's Husband and ECG pulled into the parking lot with the electronic gizmo that will read error codes on cars. I was just expecting them to transport Daughter and me to our respective homes. The car now wouldn't start. They checked to see if maybe the problem was the belt, but it looked okay. There weren't any engine error codes, so they suggested the alternator might need replacing.
After we dropped Daughter off, AAH said he had a battery charger at home, and if I'd give him my keys, he'd see if he could get the battery charged enough I could take it into a shop on Tuesday. I gratefully handed him my keys. Depending on what's wrong with the car, I may need to wait until next year to get my problem tree removed.
I had planned to go see Sister Best Friend tomorrow. We were going to paint and then have a barbecue. Instead, I'm going to be stuck here at home. I was really looking forward to tomorrow. I've worked the last two Fridays, and yesterday I recognized the toll it has taken on me.... I really do need Fridays off.
Maybe tomorrow I can figure out why the new exterior light I installed yesterday doesn't work. I was going to write a hilarious post about trying to change out the light fixture on my own and how hard it was since I kept dropping screws and such when I was up on the ladder. I guess you'll just have to use your imagination....
I transferred my documents over to Daughter's computer and decided to begin using it now. Hopefully I'll be able anything I've forgotten from my computer before sending it in. I'm running Office 2007 on my laptop, and I'd installed Office 2010 on Daughter's. There are some minor differences, but I'll adjust. When I got to the church today, I realized I hadn't installed the printer drivers yet to print out my sermon. No problem. Windows quickly found the printer on the network, but couldn't find the printer driver (even after searching the web.) No problem. I know how to download drivers. I went to the manufacturer's website and started looking. It wasn't with the other drivers, but eventually I found the page that would get me to the proper driver. I got to the page and looked at a list of probably 100 files that had mysterious names. I had no clue what one I needed. I took my best guess, and when asked if I wanted to save it or run it, I chose to run it. It downloaded, and then told me I needed to unzip the file. Fine. I know how to do that. I didn't worry about where it put the files, I've done this before. So it told me it had successfully unzipped over 100 files. I quickly discovered it had unzipped them to a hidden system directory that I couldn't find. I was beginning to get frustrated. I finally found the directory, but there wasn't a setup file there. Administrative Assistant arrived. I told her I needed help. I emailed her the liturgy and PowerPoint, and she printed them out for me. Of course, I hadn't transferred my directory, so it wasn't as easy as it normally is to email her the files, but I managed.
Her son, the Engineer and Computer Geek was in town for the long weekend, so she suggested maybe he could figure out the problem. I retrieved what I needed from the printer and found ECG. I told him he'd been volunteered. He followed my back to my study. He began working. He finally told me he'd have to look at it again after worship.
I had a friend in worship this morning, so I wanted to go to lunch with her. ECG had installed drivers, but couldn't get a test page to print. The printer would make noise, but it would go back to sleep without printing. He was still working on it when I left to go to lunch. I thanked him for working on it and also for protecting my ego by struggling with it. AA had suggested we get the technician to come install the drivers, she thought that would be covered by our service contract, but her son wasn't ready to admit defeat. We had theorized that they intentionally made the drivers hard to install so that we'd have to pay for a service call.
I left with Daughter and my friend for lunch. On the way to the church, my car had warned me there were problems with the battery charging system. I was relieved when it started right up. We drove to a nearby restaurant and enjoyed a wonderful lunch. On the way back to the church, more warnings appeared. The stability control system wasn't working. There was a problem with the anti-lock brakes. It was going into battery saving mode. I pulled into the parking lot and stopped near my friend's car. I decided to pull into a parking place and grab the computer (and see if he'd succeeded). When I tried to move the car, I realized the power steering was gone.
I got inside and found a print test page on my computer. ECG had beaten one bit of technology into submission. I called AA and told her I needed to be rescued, I was having car trouble at the church. She said she'd take care of it. A few minutes later her Administrative Assistant's Husband and ECG pulled into the parking lot with the electronic gizmo that will read error codes on cars. I was just expecting them to transport Daughter and me to our respective homes. The car now wouldn't start. They checked to see if maybe the problem was the belt, but it looked okay. There weren't any engine error codes, so they suggested the alternator might need replacing.
After we dropped Daughter off, AAH said he had a battery charger at home, and if I'd give him my keys, he'd see if he could get the battery charged enough I could take it into a shop on Tuesday. I gratefully handed him my keys. Depending on what's wrong with the car, I may need to wait until next year to get my problem tree removed.
I had planned to go see Sister Best Friend tomorrow. We were going to paint and then have a barbecue. Instead, I'm going to be stuck here at home. I was really looking forward to tomorrow. I've worked the last two Fridays, and yesterday I recognized the toll it has taken on me.... I really do need Fridays off.
Maybe tomorrow I can figure out why the new exterior light I installed yesterday doesn't work. I was going to write a hilarious post about trying to change out the light fixture on my own and how hard it was since I kept dropping screws and such when I was up on the ladder. I guess you'll just have to use your imagination....
Saturday, September 1, 2012
I Don't Think So
Daughter called this morning. She had figured out a fun activity for us today. I could take her to the mall and pay somebody to braid her hair. She was quite offended when I said no. Some of the staff members at her house have put beautiful corn rows in her hair. She won't leave them in because her scalp gets irritated. Why am I going to pay someone to do what staff will do for free? Especially since she won't leave them in?
She informed me she didn't want to just come hang out at the house. It's boring. I have a lawn to mow, tomatoes to preserve, and various other activities to keep me busy today. I intend to stay home and watch football this evening. Since her mood was rather surly, I think I'll let her stay at her house today. I may be willing to pick her up for church in the morning. I might even be willing to do something with her tomorrow afternoon. I no longer have to deal with attitude, though, and I'm not going to.
She informed me she didn't want to just come hang out at the house. It's boring. I have a lawn to mow, tomatoes to preserve, and various other activities to keep me busy today. I intend to stay home and watch football this evening. Since her mood was rather surly, I think I'll let her stay at her house today. I may be willing to pick her up for church in the morning. I might even be willing to do something with her tomorrow afternoon. I no longer have to deal with attitude, though, and I'm not going to.
Friday, August 31, 2012
Pizza and Blimp
I decided we'd go out for pizza last night. As we were driving along, I caught a glimpse of a blimp over the tree tops. I pointed it out to Daughter, but the glimpses were brief and she has spatial issues and she never was able to find it when I pointed it out to her. She became rather surly, and remained that way through supper. She insisted she had no idea what I was talking about, and it wasn't important.
We don't live very far from the airport, so when we finished our pizza, I decided to drive over by the airport to see if I could find the blimp and show it to her. She objected when she realized what I was doing, as she'd never recognize what I was trying to get her to see and it was stupid. Then we turned down an access road toward the airport and she saw it. She was quite excited. "I've seen that on TV. That's really cool. Other families were stopping, too. With tall fences we couldn't get close, but that hadn't stopped one family from lining three kids up along the fence to take a picture.
She did apologize for her attitude later, and I told her it didn't make me eager to spend time with her.
I came into the office to do a few things this morning. It's almost 2:00 and I'm still here. The good news is that I will be able to take all of Monday off, and I even have fun plans (that don't include Daughter). Because of all we've done this week, I should be able to take next Friday off, too. It's worth spening a Friday in the office.
We don't live very far from the airport, so when we finished our pizza, I decided to drive over by the airport to see if I could find the blimp and show it to her. She objected when she realized what I was doing, as she'd never recognize what I was trying to get her to see and it was stupid. Then we turned down an access road toward the airport and she saw it. She was quite excited. "I've seen that on TV. That's really cool. Other families were stopping, too. With tall fences we couldn't get close, but that hadn't stopped one family from lining three kids up along the fence to take a picture.
She did apologize for her attitude later, and I told her it didn't make me eager to spend time with her.
I came into the office to do a few things this morning. It's almost 2:00 and I'm still here. The good news is that I will be able to take all of Monday off, and I even have fun plans (that don't include Daughter). Because of all we've done this week, I should be able to take next Friday off, too. It's worth spening a Friday in the office.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
To Do Lists
Each day this week Administrative Assistant and I have felt like we've accomplished a great deal of work. Yet each morning when we come in, the to do lists seem longer. I'm not sure how that works. The lead up to September is always crazy, and this year even more so. In addition to the normal fall start up stuff, we're getting ready to interview candidates for a child care position. We are getting ready to unveil a new website for the church. Our pianist has health issues that could knock her out for the entire fall. The woman who creates the PowerPoint for the worship service has told us she may need a couple of weeks off-- she is moving.
Today worship leader was in the office to figure out a pianist. The concessions coordinator came in to tell us something important (though I have no memory as to what that was). While AA was on the phone with a pianist, the treasurer came in with a piece of paper. "When is the newsletter deadline?"
He has been in the office all week as we've been trying to track down articles and figure out spacing. I looked at him in disbelief. "Yesterday."
He said, "Never mind. I'll just put this in the trash."
I took the article from him. It was about how to join our mentoring program, which begins the year this month. It needed to go in the newsletter. "Did you email it so AA doesn't have to retype it?"
"No. I've got to run."
He vanished before AA got off the phone. He didn't reappear all day. We think he was afraid to.
The newsletter is almost done (she has to finish the table of contents tomorrow). She had to add two pages today to get everything to fit, which meant rearranging everything she thought was complete yesterday. (Fortunately, she is glad she added the pages, because it made it work better.) We have a pianist for the month of September. Interviews are set for the child care position for Tuesday evening. The bulletin for Sunday is printed. The liturgy for the 9th is done (we just need to figure out who is going to make the slides). I've written most of the remaining content for the new website.
I will go in for at least a while tomorrow. I want to finish the sermon, and there is a registration form and commitment form that need work. I'm afraid to mention the logo and place mat for the 9th, though I suspect AA is very aware of them. I may see if I can get the Friday morning volunteers to start printing and binding the books we're making for a class that begins September 16th. The good news is that as we left the office today, we were still laughing, even though we both felt like our brains were fried. We were both plotting about going out to eat tonight, as neither of us wants to cook....
Today worship leader was in the office to figure out a pianist. The concessions coordinator came in to tell us something important (though I have no memory as to what that was). While AA was on the phone with a pianist, the treasurer came in with a piece of paper. "When is the newsletter deadline?"
He has been in the office all week as we've been trying to track down articles and figure out spacing. I looked at him in disbelief. "Yesterday."
He said, "Never mind. I'll just put this in the trash."
I took the article from him. It was about how to join our mentoring program, which begins the year this month. It needed to go in the newsletter. "Did you email it so AA doesn't have to retype it?"
"No. I've got to run."
He vanished before AA got off the phone. He didn't reappear all day. We think he was afraid to.
The newsletter is almost done (she has to finish the table of contents tomorrow). She had to add two pages today to get everything to fit, which meant rearranging everything she thought was complete yesterday. (Fortunately, she is glad she added the pages, because it made it work better.) We have a pianist for the month of September. Interviews are set for the child care position for Tuesday evening. The bulletin for Sunday is printed. The liturgy for the 9th is done (we just need to figure out who is going to make the slides). I've written most of the remaining content for the new website.
I will go in for at least a while tomorrow. I want to finish the sermon, and there is a registration form and commitment form that need work. I'm afraid to mention the logo and place mat for the 9th, though I suspect AA is very aware of them. I may see if I can get the Friday morning volunteers to start printing and binding the books we're making for a class that begins September 16th. The good news is that as we left the office today, we were still laughing, even though we both felt like our brains were fried. We were both plotting about going out to eat tonight, as neither of us wants to cook....
Stop It
Daughter called yesterday afternoon, complaining about her program and the violation of her rights. She was ranting and raving, and what I finally figured out was that she apparently refused to go on the afternoon outing, so staff was telling her no one would be able to go. She claimed she could stay behind while everyone left and the staff was being disrespectful to her. She was crying, to make it more dramatic.
I told her to stop it. Several times. She finally stopped crying enough to listen to what I was saying. I informed her that she wasn't in charge, and she had to respect staff. I told her she was in that program to go on outings, not to stay behind. I informed her that sometimes we had to do things we didn't want to do and even do them when we didn't feel good (she was claiming she had a headache). I informed her that was part of being a responsible adult and I didn't want to hear anymore complaining. She stopped, and hung up, mad.
She called later and told me she was better. By bedtime, she was happy. I've done this in the past, but it has never worked as well as it did yesterday. I think I've learned a new technique for stopping the drama. Of course, I'll have to be ready with a new trick, because I know this won't last forever.
I told her to stop it. Several times. She finally stopped crying enough to listen to what I was saying. I informed her that she wasn't in charge, and she had to respect staff. I told her she was in that program to go on outings, not to stay behind. I informed her that sometimes we had to do things we didn't want to do and even do them when we didn't feel good (she was claiming she had a headache). I informed her that was part of being a responsible adult and I didn't want to hear anymore complaining. She stopped, and hung up, mad.
She called later and told me she was better. By bedtime, she was happy. I've done this in the past, but it has never worked as well as it did yesterday. I think I've learned a new technique for stopping the drama. Of course, I'll have to be ready with a new trick, because I know this won't last forever.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Mama Bear
Mama Bear reappeared briefly yesterday afternoon. There were some questions at the workshop about Daughter's diabetes care. Daughter told me she explained some of it, and then told staff to contact me. The staff member suggested she'd call the home with her questions, and Daughter told her the home doesn't understand and she should talk to me. Yesterday the emails started flying.
When we had the pre-placement meeting, the nurse and dietitian decided they didn't need to attend. Now they're complaining we didn't do it properly. The director of the workshop said there were two conflicting documents related to Daughter's diabetes care. I asked to see the documents. The nurse didn't understand my question. Nurse decided there needed to be another meeting, and if I really wanted to attend maybe they could include me by conference call.
When I started signing my emails and parent and guardian, I think I got their attention. I reminded them that Daughter has a difficult time trusting others to manager her diabetes. I suggested that if they wanted Daughter to feel safe, they'd best make sure I knew and supported the plan. I was promised the document would be emailed to me. Of course, that hasn't happened yet. I may have to sharpen my claws....
When we had the pre-placement meeting, the nurse and dietitian decided they didn't need to attend. Now they're complaining we didn't do it properly. The director of the workshop said there were two conflicting documents related to Daughter's diabetes care. I asked to see the documents. The nurse didn't understand my question. Nurse decided there needed to be another meeting, and if I really wanted to attend maybe they could include me by conference call.
When I started signing my emails and parent and guardian, I think I got their attention. I reminded them that Daughter has a difficult time trusting others to manager her diabetes. I suggested that if they wanted Daughter to feel safe, they'd best make sure I knew and supported the plan. I was promised the document would be emailed to me. Of course, that hasn't happened yet. I may have to sharpen my claws....
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Board Meetings
Last night we had a board meeting. Have I mentioned recently what a wonderful board I have? We began with 20 minutes of Bible study and prayer, and then moved on to business, most of which was taken care of with one motion. We discussed new personnel policies that will make it much harder for people to expect me to do funerals while I am on vacation. We discussed and approved a craft fair. We talked about budget for 2013. We discussed a chapter of a book we are reading, and how it applies to our congregation. We elected a new secretary and members for the nominating committee. We talked about a mission we support that has suffered a catastrophic loss. I explained how poorly they were handling the communication, and commented I could show them how to raise the money they would need (hmm, I may have to work on humility). The board informed me I was needed here and threatened to let the air out of my tires if I even considered moving there. We made plans to grill the meat for our next fellowship meal. We laughed and joked. We discussed home improvements and shared prayer concerns. We did all of that and more and were done in 90 minutes.
Daughter didn't call during the meeting. She has come so far, there was a time when it was a joke. At some point during the meeting my phone would ring and I would answer and say as fast as I could, "I'm in a meeting. Call after 9:00. Love you. Bye." They always found that amusing.
I don't know if Administrative Assistant is healthy enough to come to work today. I warned the board the newsletter may be late this month. I have a busy day ahead. I realize that the next few weeks I'm going to have at least one day a week out of the office. That means I need to get busy and work ahead some so that I can do the work in the time that will be available. The good thing is that many of the things I need to do will be fun to plan. I'm looking forward to digging into it all.
Daughter didn't call during the meeting. She has come so far, there was a time when it was a joke. At some point during the meeting my phone would ring and I would answer and say as fast as I could, "I'm in a meeting. Call after 9:00. Love you. Bye." They always found that amusing.
I don't know if Administrative Assistant is healthy enough to come to work today. I warned the board the newsletter may be late this month. I have a busy day ahead. I realize that the next few weeks I'm going to have at least one day a week out of the office. That means I need to get busy and work ahead some so that I can do the work in the time that will be available. The good thing is that many of the things I need to do will be fun to plan. I'm looking forward to digging into it all.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Success!
Daughter started her new program today. For now, she is only going on Mondays, but we will increase the number of days as she adjusts. She is taking a job readiness class and doing piece work. All day I was waiting for her to call, upset about something.
She didn't call until she got home. She was very excited. People welcomed her and made her feel comfortable. The class was fun. She completed 99 pieces today. She went into the restroom and saw someone unconscious on the floor, and ran to get get staff help. I'm glad her day went so well.
The challenge will be getting her to be cooperative and respectful at her current program the rest of the week.
She didn't call until she got home. She was very excited. People welcomed her and made her feel comfortable. The class was fun. She completed 99 pieces today. She went into the restroom and saw someone unconscious on the floor, and ran to get get staff help. I'm glad her day went so well.
The challenge will be getting her to be cooperative and respectful at her current program the rest of the week.
Fall Is Coming Part 2
Today is going to be a day of writing. Writing newsletter articles. Writing website content. Writing worship liturgy. I can tell fall is coming by the increased workload here at the church. We're gearing up for fall programs, and this is always a busy time with extra stress. I am also energized by this time of year. It's exciting to finalize and implement plans and see the new things God is doing in our midst.
This will be the first fall that I am living alone in over 20 years. In many ways, that fact will make life easier. I no longer have to consider Daughter's needs when setting my schedule. I can go for a walk early in the morning without worrying about leaving her home alone. I don't have to wait for her to go to bed in the evening in order to enjoy some time alone before I go to bed, which means I'm going to bed earlier.
Daughter is starting in a new program today, and I've only been peripherally involved in managing her stress. There have been a few extra phone calls and requests for reassurance. She has been on edge, and I suspect staff at both her program and her house have had to endure some verbal abuse. I'm grateful I don't have to deal with that anymore. I informed her Saturday that if she started whining or creating drama, I would take her back to her house early. She heard me and was pleasant while she was with me.
I suspect that this fall things will be much less stressful for me. I wasn't always aware of how much stress Daughter created in my life. Right now my biggest stress is the fact that Administrative Assistant is sick. I'm going to email her and encourage her to stay home tomorrow if she's not feeling better. I'd rather have her stay home longer and come back healthy than come back too soon and have her bug hang on longer.
Have I mentioned lately that I love my life?
This will be the first fall that I am living alone in over 20 years. In many ways, that fact will make life easier. I no longer have to consider Daughter's needs when setting my schedule. I can go for a walk early in the morning without worrying about leaving her home alone. I don't have to wait for her to go to bed in the evening in order to enjoy some time alone before I go to bed, which means I'm going to bed earlier.
Daughter is starting in a new program today, and I've only been peripherally involved in managing her stress. There have been a few extra phone calls and requests for reassurance. She has been on edge, and I suspect staff at both her program and her house have had to endure some verbal abuse. I'm grateful I don't have to deal with that anymore. I informed her Saturday that if she started whining or creating drama, I would take her back to her house early. She heard me and was pleasant while she was with me.
I suspect that this fall things will be much less stressful for me. I wasn't always aware of how much stress Daughter created in my life. Right now my biggest stress is the fact that Administrative Assistant is sick. I'm going to email her and encourage her to stay home tomorrow if she's not feeling better. I'd rather have her stay home longer and come back healthy than come back too soon and have her bug hang on longer.
Have I mentioned lately that I love my life?
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Fall Is Coming
It's beginning to feel like fall. The temperature is over 90, but it's getting down into the 50's and 60's at night, which I love. The leaves are beginning to turn, and when I mowed today I caught the clippings to deal with the locust leaves that have begun to fall. I spent almost 5 hours working in the yard today, It was wonderful. I got a lot done, but there is more to do. I haven't spent an extended stretch there for a while-- it's been too hot. As we move into fall my energy level always goes up. I don't do well with heat, so the summer months are hard on me.
One of the neighbors I haven't met stopped to chat while I was sweeping along the curb. She told me how much she admired my work in the yard and how good it looks. That was nice to hear. I really do enjoy the work, as long as it's not too hot. By the time I came in today, it was getting too hot. The heat was getting to me, so I came in and took a cool shower. I'm grateful that I have working air conditioning now.
I'm not picking up Daughter until this evening. She didn't think I'd want to get her until tomorrow morning, but Sundays are less stressful when I don't have to go pick her up. She was in rare form yesterday. She was texting and calling to protest her rights were being ignored. Apparently their outing was to a police station, and she didn't want to go. She claimed she couldn't go because of her PTSD. I told her it would be a wonderful opportunity for her to have positive interaction with people in uniform and realize that their goal is to keep people safe. (Birth dad used to come home and beat the kids while wearing his security uniform-- uniforms can be a trigger for her.) I reminded her she wasn't in charge and that she needed to respect the staff. I told her to cut the drama. She kept trying to suck me in, and was quite frustrated by my refusal to bite. She has apologized. I told her she needs to apologize to her program staff. She didn't like that. I'm enjoying have a Saturday to myself. I'm looking forward to fall. Life is good.
One of the neighbors I haven't met stopped to chat while I was sweeping along the curb. She told me how much she admired my work in the yard and how good it looks. That was nice to hear. I really do enjoy the work, as long as it's not too hot. By the time I came in today, it was getting too hot. The heat was getting to me, so I came in and took a cool shower. I'm grateful that I have working air conditioning now.
I'm not picking up Daughter until this evening. She didn't think I'd want to get her until tomorrow morning, but Sundays are less stressful when I don't have to go pick her up. She was in rare form yesterday. She was texting and calling to protest her rights were being ignored. Apparently their outing was to a police station, and she didn't want to go. She claimed she couldn't go because of her PTSD. I told her it would be a wonderful opportunity for her to have positive interaction with people in uniform and realize that their goal is to keep people safe. (Birth dad used to come home and beat the kids while wearing his security uniform-- uniforms can be a trigger for her.) I reminded her she wasn't in charge and that she needed to respect the staff. I told her to cut the drama. She kept trying to suck me in, and was quite frustrated by my refusal to bite. She has apologized. I told her she needs to apologize to her program staff. She didn't like that. I'm enjoying have a Saturday to myself. I'm looking forward to fall. Life is good.
Friday, August 24, 2012
Making Up Work
I don't punch a time clock. No one tracks my hours. If I have a personal appointment mid-day, no one complains. So when I decided to go to the funeral of Short Niece's grandma yesterday, there were no objections. I left before 8 and didn't get home until almost 4, so I didn't do any work yesterday. I didn't even open my computer. Actually, I take that back. As I waited for the funeral to begin, I jotted down some notes for my sermon. On my way home, I called the church. Administrative Assistant sounded terrible. Treasurer had shared his cold with her. I told her to go home early and stay home today if she didn't feel better.
I was in my study at 8:00 this morning, though. Not because I had to make up the hours I didn't work, but because even when I have a family funeral, there are certain things that have to be done. I still need a sermon for Sunday and an agenda for Monday. I still need to get the content I promised to the webmaster so she can have the new website ready to go live on September 9. I still need to make sure we have all the committee information for Monday evening's board meeting. I still have to be ready for fall program to begin September 9 and the newsletter to go out next week. I also wanted Administrative Assistant to have the option of staying home today if she didn't feel better.
I've gotten quite a bit done today. Unfortunately, that doesn't include the sermon. I doubt I'll have it done before I leave for the day. That means I'll have to spend some time on it tomorrow. But that's okay. This week has had some unusual things going on. Most weeks aren't quite this stressful. Next week it should be easier to fit the work into the available time. Even with all the work and the challenge of taking time off, I wouldn't trade my life for anything.
I was in my study at 8:00 this morning, though. Not because I had to make up the hours I didn't work, but because even when I have a family funeral, there are certain things that have to be done. I still need a sermon for Sunday and an agenda for Monday. I still need to get the content I promised to the webmaster so she can have the new website ready to go live on September 9. I still need to make sure we have all the committee information for Monday evening's board meeting. I still have to be ready for fall program to begin September 9 and the newsletter to go out next week. I also wanted Administrative Assistant to have the option of staying home today if she didn't feel better.
I've gotten quite a bit done today. Unfortunately, that doesn't include the sermon. I doubt I'll have it done before I leave for the day. That means I'll have to spend some time on it tomorrow. But that's okay. This week has had some unusual things going on. Most weeks aren't quite this stressful. Next week it should be easier to fit the work into the available time. Even with all the work and the challenge of taking time off, I wouldn't trade my life for anything.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Crazy Week
Lots going on here this week. I had a memorial service today, and tomorrow I'm headed to Big City for funeral for Short Niece's grandmother. There are some difficult pastoral care situations right now. Young people aren't supposed to get cancer. Cancer is supposed to respond to treatment. In between we're trying to get plans made for the fall start up. Since I'm losing tomorrow, I will be in the office all day Friday.
Daughter keeps wanting attention, and I keep explaining that I'm busy this week. She's going with me to the funeral, she'll have plenty of time with me tomorrow. She wanted me to pick her up this evening, but I'm still hanging at the church while they clean up after the funeral and meal.
I'm busy, but it's a good busy. The memorial service went well, and I'm always glad when the family is pleased with it. I'll write more when I have some time, but just wanted to let you all know I'm still alive-- just busy.
Daughter keeps wanting attention, and I keep explaining that I'm busy this week. She's going with me to the funeral, she'll have plenty of time with me tomorrow. She wanted me to pick her up this evening, but I'm still hanging at the church while they clean up after the funeral and meal.
I'm busy, but it's a good busy. The memorial service went well, and I'm always glad when the family is pleased with it. I'll write more when I have some time, but just wanted to let you all know I'm still alive-- just busy.
Monday, August 20, 2012
Compassion
Children with RAD generally have trouble showing compassion for another. Daughter has compassion, showing how far she has come. Short Niece's grandmother died yesterday evening. Daughter has been quite upset about it, and yes, some of her grief has been manipulative. There has also been genuine grief and compassion for her cousin. "Mom, Short Niece won't have any grandparents to go to her high school or college graduations. That's not fair. She needs a grandma."
I told Daughter this morning about the death, and she sobbed. I told her that the tentative plans were to have the funeral on Thursday, and I thought we'd be able to go. I told her I'd let her know more when the plans were finalized, and we could figure things out. Her program has a big field trip planned that day, one Daughter has been talking about for weeks. She said, "I didn't want to go there anyway." She wants to be at the funeral for Short Niece. The only problem is Short Niece's dad doesn't want her at the funeral. She was at the memorial services for my parents 3 yeas ago, so I think she can handle being at this funeral. He finally agreed with Sister to talk to the minister about it. Hopefully she will be able to help him see why Short Niece needs to be there. If he still insists Short Niece can't attend, I'll do a memorial service for SN. She needs the closure the service will bring. She loved her grandmother, and spent quite a bit of time with her. Her grandmother had planned to pick her up from school 2 days a week this year. Sometimes life just isn't fair.
I told Daughter this morning about the death, and she sobbed. I told her that the tentative plans were to have the funeral on Thursday, and I thought we'd be able to go. I told her I'd let her know more when the plans were finalized, and we could figure things out. Her program has a big field trip planned that day, one Daughter has been talking about for weeks. She said, "I didn't want to go there anyway." She wants to be at the funeral for Short Niece. The only problem is Short Niece's dad doesn't want her at the funeral. She was at the memorial services for my parents 3 yeas ago, so I think she can handle being at this funeral. He finally agreed with Sister to talk to the minister about it. Hopefully she will be able to help him see why Short Niece needs to be there. If he still insists Short Niece can't attend, I'll do a memorial service for SN. She needs the closure the service will bring. She loved her grandmother, and spent quite a bit of time with her. Her grandmother had planned to pick her up from school 2 days a week this year. Sometimes life just isn't fair.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
I'm Getting Too Old for This....
I am dragging today. In addition to worship this morning, I led it this afternoon at the retirement home near the church. I am tired. I guess I'm getting too old for short nights. Friday night I was at the hospital for a death. I got home a little before 2 a.m. and it was probably 3 before I fell asleep. I got about 4 hours sleep before I had to get up for the AC installer.
Last night I intended to go to bed early. As I was getting into bed, I got a text message from Sister. Her ex-mother-in-law had a massive stroke this week, and yesterday they told the family she would not survive. Sister didn't want to call me, because she didn't want Short Niece to overhear the conversation. So we proceeded to text. This is Short Niece's only living grandparent, and they were very close. I finally told her good night. Of course, my mind was racing after that conversation, and about the time I fell asleep a car alarm across the street went off. I had the windows open, so it took me a minute to figure out the noise was coming from outside. When I fell back asleep, I didn't sleep well.
I'm determined to get a good night's sleep tonight. I'm going to need it. This week, which was supposed to be a bit slower, is rapidly filling up. I have a memorial service for the man who died Wednesday evening, and I'm meeting his daughter tomorrow afternoon to plan it. If Sister's ex-mother-in-law dies I'd like to go to the service, but that may not be possible, depending on when it is scheduled. I have commitments 3 evenings in a row this week. I'm not ready for all the evening commitments that come with fall.... I was hoping to get a solid block of time to do some fall planning. It looks like that is going to be a challenge this week.
Right now I'm going to go can some tomatoes. This will be my only opportunity until Thursday.... I really think I'm getting too old for this.....
Last night I intended to go to bed early. As I was getting into bed, I got a text message from Sister. Her ex-mother-in-law had a massive stroke this week, and yesterday they told the family she would not survive. Sister didn't want to call me, because she didn't want Short Niece to overhear the conversation. So we proceeded to text. This is Short Niece's only living grandparent, and they were very close. I finally told her good night. Of course, my mind was racing after that conversation, and about the time I fell asleep a car alarm across the street went off. I had the windows open, so it took me a minute to figure out the noise was coming from outside. When I fell back asleep, I didn't sleep well.
I'm determined to get a good night's sleep tonight. I'm going to need it. This week, which was supposed to be a bit slower, is rapidly filling up. I have a memorial service for the man who died Wednesday evening, and I'm meeting his daughter tomorrow afternoon to plan it. If Sister's ex-mother-in-law dies I'd like to go to the service, but that may not be possible, depending on when it is scheduled. I have commitments 3 evenings in a row this week. I'm not ready for all the evening commitments that come with fall.... I was hoping to get a solid block of time to do some fall planning. It looks like that is going to be a challenge this week.
Right now I'm going to go can some tomatoes. This will be my only opportunity until Thursday.... I really think I'm getting too old for this.....
i Said That?
Yesterday I called a woman in the church to inform her of a death. She had done a great deal in the past to help the deceased, but over time the relationship became very unhealthy, and attempts to set healthy boundaries had failed. I had counseled her to end the relationship. Yesterday I realized that this death might be hard on her, so I called so she could hear it from me and I could offer support.
She was not surprised at the news, and told me that she knew the deceased had been ready and probably welcomed this. She was pleased that another member had stepped up to support the man when she had to back away. "You told me that I didn't need to worry, God would call someone else to minister to him. You were right."
I have no memory of saying that. It seems like it was exactly what she needed to hear, and had allowed her to let go and move on. I'm always surprised and pleased when someone quotes back something I have no memory of saying. It's nice to know that I have been a channel of God's healing and that the Holy Spirit was able to speak through me to address a need. It's always a little freaky to find out that they have held on so tight to words I don't even remember saying.
She was not surprised at the news, and told me that she knew the deceased had been ready and probably welcomed this. She was pleased that another member had stepped up to support the man when she had to back away. "You told me that I didn't need to worry, God would call someone else to minister to him. You were right."
I have no memory of saying that. It seems like it was exactly what she needed to hear, and had allowed her to let go and move on. I'm always surprised and pleased when someone quotes back something I have no memory of saying. It's nice to know that I have been a channel of God's healing and that the Holy Spirit was able to speak through me to address a need. It's always a little freaky to find out that they have held on so tight to words I don't even remember saying.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Easier
At 10:00 last night, I received a phone call. The family was preparing to move a member from life support. Could I come to the hospital? I changed my shirt, combed my hair, and headed out the door. He was at the big hospital, which is closer than the small hospital we referred to as a "band aid station" was in Tiny Village, where I'd have had to travel an hour to get to someplace offering the same level of care. As I was driving, I was reflecting on how much easier it is when the hospital is close by.
Daughter was safe at her group home, so I didn't have to worry about leaving her home alone. I did leave her alone at night in Tiny Village, but there was the constant worry about how long I could stay before heading home to her. (Our arrangement was I'd leave a note on the bathroom mirror telling her I was at the hospital and get home before she got up in the morning). It was easier to be fully present with the family when I wasn't watching the clock and worrying about what was going on at home.
Sometimes I wonder if my presence at the hospital really makes a difference. This family has had a number of challenges that have made relationships hard. When there are problems in family relationships, it is harder to deal with death. The family member who called me told earlier in the week that he wasn't into all that "God stuff" and didn't really believe. With a broken relationship with the dying family member and no relationship with God, he was really struggling. After I'd been there a little while, I pulled the family together around the bed, I talked to them and prayed with them. I could see that my words were helping, and that they were calmer.
It wasn't as easy or quick as they had hoped. There were many doctors who were involved in his care and need to sign off on the decision. When I left the hospital, the family was grateful, "I don't know how you do this," said the individual who had called me. I told him, as I tell all families, that it is an honor to be present with them at such times. It was almost 2:00 when I got home. I had to get up this morning because the man who is installing my furnace and AC was due by 8:00. I may try to sneak in a nap this afternoon-- or at least go to bed early tonight. I am grateful to be here, where hospitals are closer, Daughter is in a group home, and the logistics of this kind of ministry are easier.
Daughter was safe at her group home, so I didn't have to worry about leaving her home alone. I did leave her alone at night in Tiny Village, but there was the constant worry about how long I could stay before heading home to her. (Our arrangement was I'd leave a note on the bathroom mirror telling her I was at the hospital and get home before she got up in the morning). It was easier to be fully present with the family when I wasn't watching the clock and worrying about what was going on at home.
Sometimes I wonder if my presence at the hospital really makes a difference. This family has had a number of challenges that have made relationships hard. When there are problems in family relationships, it is harder to deal with death. The family member who called me told earlier in the week that he wasn't into all that "God stuff" and didn't really believe. With a broken relationship with the dying family member and no relationship with God, he was really struggling. After I'd been there a little while, I pulled the family together around the bed, I talked to them and prayed with them. I could see that my words were helping, and that they were calmer.
It wasn't as easy or quick as they had hoped. There were many doctors who were involved in his care and need to sign off on the decision. When I left the hospital, the family was grateful, "I don't know how you do this," said the individual who had called me. I told him, as I tell all families, that it is an honor to be present with them at such times. It was almost 2:00 when I got home. I had to get up this morning because the man who is installing my furnace and AC was due by 8:00. I may try to sneak in a nap this afternoon-- or at least go to bed early tonight. I am grateful to be here, where hospitals are closer, Daughter is in a group home, and the logistics of this kind of ministry are easier.
Friday, August 17, 2012
Today
My new furnace and air conditioner are being installed today, so I'm stuck at home. It's a gray, rainy day. I had hoped to work in the yard, but unless the weather improves, that doesn't seem likely. Today may come a cooking and canning day-- I need to go see how many more tomatoes are ready for harvest.
Since I had so many commitments this week, I need to put the finishing touches on the sermon. I'm looking for one more illustration, and have a clearer idea of what I'm looking for today.
Daughter was in a bit of a mood this morning. These two weeks between visiting the new program and beginning there are hard on her. She's also frustrated that she will only be going one day a week to begin. She continues to do remarkably well over all.
I'm hoping for a productive day today-- either in the yard or the kitchen....
Since I had so many commitments this week, I need to put the finishing touches on the sermon. I'm looking for one more illustration, and have a clearer idea of what I'm looking for today.
Daughter was in a bit of a mood this morning. These two weeks between visiting the new program and beginning there are hard on her. She's also frustrated that she will only be going one day a week to begin. She continues to do remarkably well over all.
I'm hoping for a productive day today-- either in the yard or the kitchen....
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Too Many
I had too many meetings and appointments this week-- at least 2 every day. As a result I didn't get long blocks of time to do the writing and planning I had hoped to accomplish this week. It's frustrating, but it is also a learning opportunity. I told Administrative Assistant we need to work my schedule so I have those blocks of time. Yet while I didn't accomplish the writing and planning I had hoped to complete, it was a very productive week in other ways. Those commitments that chopped up my days were all worth while. Looking back, I don't know that I would have eliminated any of them. That's the challenge of achieving balance in my life-- I want to do it all.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Two Hours in ICU
Two weeks ago today, one of our members had major surgery. The family was told the surgery had gone very well. It's now two weeks later, and he's still in a drug induced coma. They've tried bringing him out of the coma several times, and each time there have been complications that caused them to put him back in the coma. One of our deacons has been doing wonderful ministry with the family, and he called from the hospital parking lot after his visit with them yesterday. I decided I needed to go see them. I spent the next two hours talking to various family members. This family has had many struggles. They came into this expecting a sprint, and it has become a marathon. They are exhausted and on edge. They are getting different stories from different doctors. They're struggling with decisions they may or may not have to make. I listened and offered support. I prayed with them. I gave them business cards listing every possible way to reach me. The atheist in the family spent a lot of time talking to me and apologizing for his tears.
I'm glad I went. It's an honor to be able to minister to families as they struggle with these issues. When I left the hospital two hours later, I was exhausted, but it was a good exhausted. I love my life.
I'm glad I went. It's an honor to be able to minister to families as they struggle with these issues. When I left the hospital two hours later, I was exhausted, but it was a good exhausted. I love my life.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
The Placement Meeting
Daughter did pretty well in the placement meeting yesterday. She will begin going to the workshop on Mondays beginning August 27. At the beginning of October we'll gather to assess how she's doing and consider adding additional days. She did really well until the tour. She saw a former boy friend in the hall, and that bothered her. My impression of the place was that it was very chaotic. They weren't working when we did our tour, so maybe it is better when they are actually working on not on break. The encounter with the former boy friend provided the opportunity to tell her that part of being a responsible adult is working with people you don't like. It goes with the territory. She thought I loved everyone at the church. I told her there were several people that I found annoying, and I still had to minister to them.
She was fine when I talked to her last night. I'm sure that about the 23rd she'll start worrying about her first day. Several of the women from her house are at this facility (there are over 100 consumers there, some working, some in what amounts to day care.) It will be a big adjustment, and I hope she will be able to handle it. She has grown and matured so much since she moved out, so I am cautiously optimistic....
She was fine when I talked to her last night. I'm sure that about the 23rd she'll start worrying about her first day. Several of the women from her house are at this facility (there are over 100 consumers there, some working, some in what amounts to day care.) It will be a big adjustment, and I hope she will be able to handle it. She has grown and matured so much since she moved out, so I am cautiously optimistic....
Monday, August 13, 2012
A Big Step
Today we have a placement meeting for Daughter. She is going to begin going to a sheltered workshop one day a week. As she adjusts, we will increase the number of days she goes. She wants to earn money. From my understanding, it is a large, noisy space, so we are somewhat concerned about her ability to handle it. Because of her PTSD, she is sometimes overwhelmed in situations like that. My hope is that she will be able to handle it, and that it will be the first step toward employment and more independence. She is understandably anxious about the meeting. She wants to sit between Case Manager and me, because then she says she'll feel safe and we will speak up for her. My hope is that she will speak up for herself.
Daughter has mixed feelings about the whole thing. Some days she wants to start going 5 days a week immediately. Other days she doesn't want to go at all. I've reminded her that she will have to show she can continue to work, even when she gets bored or doesn't feel good. I've told her she has to be successful there to move on to community employment. I hope she is ready for it. She is doing a better job with cleaning jobs I give her around the house. She is maturing. I suspect it will be an interesting ride as she adjusts....
Daughter has mixed feelings about the whole thing. Some days she wants to start going 5 days a week immediately. Other days she doesn't want to go at all. I've reminded her that she will have to show she can continue to work, even when she gets bored or doesn't feel good. I've told her she has to be successful there to move on to community employment. I hope she is ready for it. She is doing a better job with cleaning jobs I give her around the house. She is maturing. I suspect it will be an interesting ride as she adjusts....
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Triggers
Today the area churches gathered in a local park for worship and a picnic. Daughter was a little on edge this morning, but nothing too bad. She chose to sit with some friends during the worship service. I was involved in leading the service, and she didn't want to be near the front. After the service she came and joined me, and her attitude was terrible. She wanted to eat immediately. She wouldn't eat at all. I didn't understand her. Usually she's pretty good in front of others, but her attitude was on full display. She stormed off a few times. After we ate, she asked for the keys and retreated to the car.
I was taking her home when it hit me. The preacher had a powerful sermon, and she had told a tragic story about a sick mother giving up her young child for adoption. "Did the sermon bother you?"
Daughter looked at me like I was an idiot. "YES!"
She talked about how unfair it was. We talked some more, and by the time I hugged her in front of her house, she was crying. She asked me to go in with her, so I did. I should have realized earlier that the sermon would be a trigger for her. I can't protect her from everything, and life is unfair and there are lots of sad stories. I reminded her that the preacher was going to be doing mission work to minister to people like that mother and child in the hopes that stories like that wouldn't happen. I could tell that many people were touched by the story this morning. Most didn't relate as personally as Daughter did, though. There was a reason for her attitude. I'm going to have to continue to work on encouraging her to use her words to tell me what she's feeling, rather than waiting for me to guess. I gave her lots of hugs and reassurance before I left her. I hope it helped.
I was taking her home when it hit me. The preacher had a powerful sermon, and she had told a tragic story about a sick mother giving up her young child for adoption. "Did the sermon bother you?"
Daughter looked at me like I was an idiot. "YES!"
She talked about how unfair it was. We talked some more, and by the time I hugged her in front of her house, she was crying. She asked me to go in with her, so I did. I should have realized earlier that the sermon would be a trigger for her. I can't protect her from everything, and life is unfair and there are lots of sad stories. I reminded her that the preacher was going to be doing mission work to minister to people like that mother and child in the hopes that stories like that wouldn't happen. I could tell that many people were touched by the story this morning. Most didn't relate as personally as Daughter did, though. There was a reason for her attitude. I'm going to have to continue to work on encouraging her to use her words to tell me what she's feeling, rather than waiting for me to guess. I gave her lots of hugs and reassurance before I left her. I hope it helped.
Saturday, August 11, 2012
It Was a Good Plan....
I went to the craft store and gathered the supplies that were listed as needed for the class. Before I purchased them, I decided to make sure the class was happening. As a line formed behind me, various people were contacted. My items were placed aside while they did research so other people could be checked out. Finally, word came back. The class was cancelled. Then I got to wait some more for some one to refund my money.
I was disappointed. There will be other classes. I will try again. Next time, though, I will call before I go. I had been told someone would call if the class was cancelled. I won't trust that next time.
Daughter wants to come early today. I put her off until after lunch, and told her she'd have to work. She was agreeable. Tonight we have a bonfire and gourmet s'mores at the church. Hopefully it won't be raining by then....
I was disappointed. There will be other classes. I will try again. Next time, though, I will call before I go. I had been told someone would call if the class was cancelled. I won't trust that next time.
Daughter wants to come early today. I put her off until after lunch, and told her she'd have to work. She was agreeable. Tonight we have a bonfire and gourmet s'mores at the church. Hopefully it won't be raining by then....
Friday, August 10, 2012
Me Time
I have signed up for a painting class this evening at a local craft store. I've never done anything like this before, and I'm looking forward to it. This year the focus is going to be on taking care of myself and creating balance in my life. It will be harder once the fall program begins, and it will be worth it.
It's raining today, and has gotten cooler. I don't like the grayness, but love the rain and cooler weather. It means I won't be working in the yard, though, so I think the painting class will be a special treat. Daughter continues to be on edge, but we survived our evening together.
It's raining today, and has gotten cooler. I don't like the grayness, but love the rain and cooler weather. It means I won't be working in the yard, though, so I think the painting class will be a special treat. Daughter continues to be on edge, but we survived our evening together.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
On Edge
Daughter continues to be on edge. She called a couple of times today, and was over reacting to minor things. Once again I refused to go get her. I'm not looking forward to having her at home this evening. It's been raining today, but if it clears, we may walk someplace for supper. Exercise usually helps when she's on edge like this. Usually.
I made arrangements to purchase a new furnace and air conditioner yesterday. It won't be cheap, but hopefully it will save me money on my utility bills. Without deadlines this week, it's been a strange week in the office. We are having worship in the park Sunday with our sister churches. I don't have to preach. It's been nice, and I'm looking forward to the worship service and picnic on Sunday.
I made arrangements to purchase a new furnace and air conditioner yesterday. It won't be cheap, but hopefully it will save me money on my utility bills. Without deadlines this week, it's been a strange week in the office. We are having worship in the park Sunday with our sister churches. I don't have to preach. It's been nice, and I'm looking forward to the worship service and picnic on Sunday.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
An Email
I received an email from Daughter's house manager yesterday evening. She asked me to talk to Daughter, who was being rude and abusive with the staff. I told her I would, but didn't know that it would do much good. I told her I had been on the receiving end many times, and was sorry staff was experiencing it now. I didn't add that I am exceedingly grateful that I'm no longer the target.
Monday we have a meeting about Daughter beginning at a workshop one day a week. I think the anxiety over the upcoming move may be behind her current attitude. Hopefully she will settle down once she gets started.
Monday we have a meeting about Daughter beginning at a workshop one day a week. I think the anxiety over the upcoming move may be behind her current attitude. Hopefully she will settle down once she gets started.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Being Faithful
A relatively new member accepted my facebook friend request and read through my previous posts. I will sometimes post articles that shed light on some of the myths that are out there around some of the hot button issues. One was a quiz about what was really in the health care law. Another analyzed which presidents had most increased government spending. In another I pointed out the people who would now be able to get insurance coverage through the health care law and observed I hadn't heard any of them complaining. I suggested that we use the law as a starting point and seek to improve it rather than throwing it out completely.
New Member responded with a series of rants, and accused me of being a socialist. I didn't respond, but I found his posts offensive, and quite frankly frightening. Some of them were close to irrational. If he hadn't been a member of the church, I would have unfriended him. After I shared a post that said, "The Republican will live with the Democrat, the bully will lie down with the geek, and a little child will lead them." He posted yet another rant about there having been too much working together. I decided I needed to respond. I was stressed by his responses, and they were getting in the way of accomplishing the things I needed to accomplish.
I sat down and wrote him a note. I shared with him 4 stories of people who desperately wanted health coverage, and for a variety of reasons couldn't get it. "He had said anyone who wanted insurance should go get a job." None of these situations were lazy people seeking a hand out. Several were working multiple jobs. I said I didn't have the answers, but knew the current system hasn't been working. I said we have a variety of political perspectives in the church, and we respect and value one another. I hoped he would continued to be a part of the congregation and invited further conversation with him. I also expressed the hope that all Christians were seeking out multiple news sources and praying for God's guidance in this election. My response may just make him angrier, but I have been faithful to what I understand my calling to be. Hopefully I can set his rants aside and move on to other things now....
I continue to grieve the polarization that is tearing our country apart. I hope we will learn to listen to one another and work together to find common ground. I hope we will shift from a win-lose perspective to a win-win perspective. Right now it feels like everyone is losing.
New Member responded with a series of rants, and accused me of being a socialist. I didn't respond, but I found his posts offensive, and quite frankly frightening. Some of them were close to irrational. If he hadn't been a member of the church, I would have unfriended him. After I shared a post that said, "The Republican will live with the Democrat, the bully will lie down with the geek, and a little child will lead them." He posted yet another rant about there having been too much working together. I decided I needed to respond. I was stressed by his responses, and they were getting in the way of accomplishing the things I needed to accomplish.
I sat down and wrote him a note. I shared with him 4 stories of people who desperately wanted health coverage, and for a variety of reasons couldn't get it. "He had said anyone who wanted insurance should go get a job." None of these situations were lazy people seeking a hand out. Several were working multiple jobs. I said I didn't have the answers, but knew the current system hasn't been working. I said we have a variety of political perspectives in the church, and we respect and value one another. I hoped he would continued to be a part of the congregation and invited further conversation with him. I also expressed the hope that all Christians were seeking out multiple news sources and praying for God's guidance in this election. My response may just make him angrier, but I have been faithful to what I understand my calling to be. Hopefully I can set his rants aside and move on to other things now....
I continue to grieve the polarization that is tearing our country apart. I hope we will learn to listen to one another and work together to find common ground. I hope we will shift from a win-lose perspective to a win-win perspective. Right now it feels like everyone is losing.
Monday, August 6, 2012
Part of the Story
Yesterday I only shared part of the story with Daughter. I had a delightful afternoon/evening at the home of a colleague who hosted a pool party for the area clergy and families. It was hot enough to swim, cool enough to sit around talking. We hadn't seen one another all summer, so it was great to catch up on news and meet the children of my colleagues. I decided not to tell Daughter about it, as I wanted to go alone and not have her there complaining.
She called during it, and I told her I was busy with some colleagues and would talk to her later in the evening. I tried to deal with the call as quickly as possible so she wouldn't hear the delighted shouts of the children in the pool. When I talked to her later in the evening, she was suspicious, "Where were you?"
"I was with some colleagues."
"Who was there?"
I mentioned the names of some of them she knew, and told her there were others there as well. I told her we hadn't seen one another all summer, and were catching up on the news, talking about weddings and such.
"Oh. I'm glad I'm at my house. I would have been bored."
She's right, she would have been bored. Everything I told her was true, I just neglected to mention the spouses and children who were present. She still would have been bored, though, as most of the children were young (a total of 11, 2 were 4 years old, the oldest was 16, the majority probably in the 6-8 year old range). I did sit around and talk shop and politics. I had a wonderful time.
She called during it, and I told her I was busy with some colleagues and would talk to her later in the evening. I tried to deal with the call as quickly as possible so she wouldn't hear the delighted shouts of the children in the pool. When I talked to her later in the evening, she was suspicious, "Where were you?"
"I was with some colleagues."
"Who was there?"
I mentioned the names of some of them she knew, and told her there were others there as well. I told her we hadn't seen one another all summer, and were catching up on the news, talking about weddings and such.
"Oh. I'm glad I'm at my house. I would have been bored."
She's right, she would have been bored. Everything I told her was true, I just neglected to mention the spouses and children who were present. She still would have been bored, though, as most of the children were young (a total of 11, 2 were 4 years old, the oldest was 16, the majority probably in the 6-8 year old range). I did sit around and talk shop and politics. I had a wonderful time.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Blessing in Disguise
My air conditioner is broken. The inspector warned me I should plan on replacing it when I bought this house. It is 30 years old, and I've gotten almost 2 summers out of it. I was not thrilled, but it does look like we're going to have a cooler week. Yesterday, though, my concern was a good night's sleep prior to this morning's worship. Then I found a note on my door. A neighbor was going to have a going away party. It might get loud. It would begin at 10:00 (p.m.) and should be over by 3:00 a.m. Now I was really concerned. A loud party and no AC. Daughter brought up some fans from the basement. Big fans. We put them in front of our open bedroom windows. We turned them on. The noise from the fan took care of any party noise, and I got a decent night's sleep.
There is a member of the church who installs AC on the side. I'm going to talk to him about replacing the unit this week. With it 30 years old, I'm not even going to try to repair it. A new unit should also save money on the electricity bill. It will be okay.
There is a member of the church who installs AC on the side. I'm going to talk to him about replacing the unit this week. With it 30 years old, I'm not even going to try to repair it. A new unit should also save money on the electricity bill. It will be okay.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Daughter's Jealousy
Daughter was jealous of the interaction between our guests and me Thursday evening. She was frustrated because she wasn't the center of attention, and because she didn't have my undivided attention. So, she's been working hard to get it.
Normally Friday is my day off, but I gave yesterday to the day camp at church. We exchanged text messages through the day. I've copied her messages as he wrote.
Daughter: Blood sugar is 95 and i fill sick to my stomach. i ate some of it but could i come home tonight please and go back sunday afternoon?
Mom: Not tonight. Sorry you don't feel good.
Daughter: Your not helping. i need your help. and you r not giving it to me. you do better than any staff that i have to put up with soooo pllllllease help.
Mom: Lots of garlic bread will upset your stomach. You will survive. I love you and will see you tomorrow.
She tried calling an hour later. I didn't answer, but sent a message that I was busy with camp.
She called during the program with the parents, and I answered and said I was busy and would to her later. "Fine. If I can last."
We did have several conversations in the evening, the last one 30 minutes after I sent her a text telling her I was tired and going to bed early. I refused to listen to the plans for today, telling her I'd been asleep and would talk to her today.
Her home is going to the fair, and she wanted me to pick her up before they left. I refused, since I needed some alone time and I knew that she'd bug me nonstop to go do things once she got here. I told her to call after the fair, and I'd come get her. She started to argue. I told her she had a choice: I'd pick her up after the fair or tomorrow morning. She's calling when they get back from the fair.
Normally Friday is my day off, but I gave yesterday to the day camp at church. We exchanged text messages through the day. I've copied her messages as he wrote.
Daughter: Blood sugar is 95 and i fill sick to my stomach. i ate some of it but could i come home tonight please and go back sunday afternoon?
Mom: Not tonight. Sorry you don't feel good.
Daughter: Your not helping. i need your help. and you r not giving it to me. you do better than any staff that i have to put up with soooo pllllllease help.
Mom: Lots of garlic bread will upset your stomach. You will survive. I love you and will see you tomorrow.
She tried calling an hour later. I didn't answer, but sent a message that I was busy with camp.
She called during the program with the parents, and I answered and said I was busy and would to her later. "Fine. If I can last."
We did have several conversations in the evening, the last one 30 minutes after I sent her a text telling her I was tired and going to bed early. I refused to listen to the plans for today, telling her I'd been asleep and would talk to her today.
Her home is going to the fair, and she wanted me to pick her up before they left. I refused, since I needed some alone time and I knew that she'd bug me nonstop to go do things once she got here. I told her to call after the fair, and I'd come get her. She started to argue. I told her she had a choice: I'd pick her up after the fair or tomorrow morning. She's calling when they get back from the fair.
Friday, August 3, 2012
Random Ramblings on a Good Week
Today is the last day of day camp. It has been a fantastic week. The young adults who are working as counselors are wonderful. I had them over for supper last night, and I enjoyed our conversation so much. They are intelligent, caring, people of faith. Daughter was a little bit frustrated because she wasn't the center of attention. She was a good help, though, with the final preparations. I used real plates and silverware, so my dishwasher got a work out last night. When I left the house this morning there were 4 chairs to take to the basement and two crock pots to put away. I was grateful we'd done most of the work last night.
I was tired last night, and forgot to lock up the food. Daughter raided the refrigerator. She confessed before I saw the high blood sugar or the missing food, which is progress. She has matured so much, but she still has difficulties with self-control. Her therapist recently recommended an apartment complex to me that might work for Daughter. I don't see how she can live alone when she still can't be trusted around food....
On the 13th we will have a meeting about her starting at the sheltered workshop one day a week. She was there for a party yesterday, and is now having second thoughts about going there. I suspect it will be overwhelming to her at first. I reminded her that was why she was only going to start with one day a week while she adjusts.
It has been a productive week in the office. Administrative Assistant and I are quite pleased with what we've accomplished. I've got everything ready for Sunday, finishing yesterday afternoon. It means I will really have tomorrow off-- nothing will be hanging over my head. I'm looking forward to that, since I'm working with the day camp today. Of course, I'll have to mow the lawn, do laundry and various other household chores, but I'll enjoy that.
Now I'm headed out to join the campers as they make s'mores.
I was tired last night, and forgot to lock up the food. Daughter raided the refrigerator. She confessed before I saw the high blood sugar or the missing food, which is progress. She has matured so much, but she still has difficulties with self-control. Her therapist recently recommended an apartment complex to me that might work for Daughter. I don't see how she can live alone when she still can't be trusted around food....
On the 13th we will have a meeting about her starting at the sheltered workshop one day a week. She was there for a party yesterday, and is now having second thoughts about going there. I suspect it will be overwhelming to her at first. I reminded her that was why she was only going to start with one day a week while she adjusts.
It has been a productive week in the office. Administrative Assistant and I are quite pleased with what we've accomplished. I've got everything ready for Sunday, finishing yesterday afternoon. It means I will really have tomorrow off-- nothing will be hanging over my head. I'm looking forward to that, since I'm working with the day camp today. Of course, I'll have to mow the lawn, do laundry and various other household chores, but I'll enjoy that.
Now I'm headed out to join the campers as they make s'mores.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Ministry with Adopted Children
This week we are having a day camp. One family has brought their 4 adoptive sons to day camp. The two youngest are having some behavioral issues. I'm proud of our people, because they have been patient and supportive. I think knowing what I go through with Daughter has helped open their eyes. They have not complained to the mom, but of course, one of the older boys tattled. She wasn't going to leave them today. Our director told her that we wanted them to stay. We have two of the counselors who have taken them on and are willing to address the behavioral issues.
I have explained that this mom needs a break, and that their issues are not her doing. I've warned them that this mom probably gets blamed and dumped on by the system on a regular basis. These people are stepping up to meet the challenge in creative ways, and I'm delighted we are able to minister to these boys and their parents this week.
I wish there had been more opportunities like that for Daughter, and more people who understood the challenges that came with being her mom. I'm so blessed to be in ministry in this place.
I have explained that this mom needs a break, and that their issues are not her doing. I've warned them that this mom probably gets blamed and dumped on by the system on a regular basis. These people are stepping up to meet the challenge in creative ways, and I'm delighted we are able to minister to these boys and their parents this week.
I wish there had been more opportunities like that for Daughter, and more people who understood the challenges that came with being her mom. I'm so blessed to be in ministry in this place.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)