Children with RAD generally have trouble showing compassion for another. Daughter has compassion, showing how far she has come. Short Niece's grandmother died yesterday evening. Daughter has been quite upset about it, and yes, some of her grief has been manipulative. There has also been genuine grief and compassion for her cousin. "Mom, Short Niece won't have any grandparents to go to her high school or college graduations. That's not fair. She needs a grandma."
I told Daughter this morning about the death, and she sobbed. I told her that the tentative plans were to have the funeral on Thursday, and I thought we'd be able to go. I told her I'd let her know more when the plans were finalized, and we could figure things out. Her program has a big field trip planned that day, one Daughter has been talking about for weeks. She said, "I didn't want to go there anyway." She wants to be at the funeral for Short Niece. The only problem is Short Niece's dad doesn't want her at the funeral. She was at the memorial services for my parents 3 yeas ago, so I think she can handle being at this funeral. He finally agreed with Sister to talk to the minister about it. Hopefully she will be able to help him see why Short Niece needs to be there. If he still insists Short Niece can't attend, I'll do a memorial service for SN. She needs the closure the service will bring. She loved her grandmother, and spent quite a bit of time with her. Her grandmother had planned to pick her up from school 2 days a week this year. Sometimes life just isn't fair.