Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Mama Bear

Daughter has been concerned about how they'll handle her program at the group home. She's afraid they won't listen to her. I decided it would help if she could talk to the nurse before she did training, so I emailed the nurse yesterday. The response I got told me all about how they had to follow orders or they'd lose their license and legal requirements. I read the answer and was furious. I hadn't asked her to disobey doctor's orders, I'd asked her to listen to Daughter, and she already wasn't listening.
About that time Treasurer stuck his head in my office. He took a look at me and suggested he'd come back another time. I assured him he could come in, he just needed to listen to me complain for a minute. He did. He is guardian for a family member in a group home, so he does understand. I tamed down my Mama Bear fury to write a response assuring Nurse we knew that rules had to be followed, and Daughter was concerned that they wouldn't listen and needed to be heard. She agreed to meet with us before Daughter's appointment with Therapist yesterday evening.
I knew Daughter was not going to be happy when I surprised her with the news we were meeting with Nurse, and I was right. I finally explained I'd had to get into Mama Bear mode. She started to laugh. I suggested she get into Baby Bear mode. We stopped at the house to print out some information, and she decided there were two important things to tell Nurse, so she wrote down (in all caps) BEING HEARD and FOOD.
I was surprised, because she told me she needed to tell Nurse that she doesn't like all food, and was concerned that she wouldn't be able to eat what they offered. What she actually told her was that food needed to be secure so Daughter wouldn't get into it. Nurse did a good job of listening and reassuring Daughter. She was much more relaxed after her conversation with Nurse. She was also delighted to discover I still am willing to become Mama Bear and growl when necessary.

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