Sunday, November 13, 2011

"I'm all Mixed up"

I ended up taking Daughter back early today-- at her request. Part of the time she wanted to go back immediately, part of the time she wanted to stay with me forever. She said, "Mom, I'm just all mixed up." I assured her that was normal, and it would get easier as she adjusts.
It was hard, dropping her off today. I'm sure in time I won't feel like crying when I pull away from her new home. I'm exhausted. I felt like I was off during worship this morning-- just not on top of things the way I like to be. I had to go see a family at the funeral home after I dropped off Daughter. I gave the family grief resources, and realized that I am grieving. I'm grieving as I face the reality of an empty nest. I'm also grieving as I let go of the dreams I had for Daughter. I didn't adopt her to grow up and live in a group home. Maybe I should read the book I give to grieving families....

1 comment:

Miz Kizzle said...

It's hard to give up dreams. Gratitude is what gets me through rough times, that and knowing that our time here on Earth is only a dress rehersal for eternity.
You'll get used to your new situation and you may even enjoy it. You probably won't miss being threatened with bodily harm on a regular basis.