Saturday, June 18, 2011


Daughter still struggles with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Central Auditory Processing Disorder, but she has truly healed in many ways when it comes to her Reactive Attachment Disorder. She is attached to me. She does have empathy. She does experience guilt and remorse. She really does feel guilty about taking the money.
When she came home from the movie, the saint had given her some money. She was going to use it to pay me back, but then decided she needed to return it. She wrote the saint a note, thanking her for the movie and explaining she couldn't accept the money. She told her she'd taken money from me, and needed to work to earn the money to pay me back. She came to the decision and wrote the note on her own. She also told me she felt like she'd ruined our lives by stealing. I wouldn't go that far, but she certainly has made life more difficult for both of us. I do not like having to keep my purse locked in my bedroom. At least I have a key to my bedroom door in the combination lock box outside now, so I won't lock myself out of my bedroom again.
I asked Daughter why she took the money. She told me she is jealous of the people in her program who have lots of money in their wallets and can pay for their own things. The staff keeps her money because she has such a hard time budgeting and holding onto it. When we get back from our travels, I'm going to talk to the program coordinator. I think I'll give Daughter enough money each week to cover her activities plus an additional dollar or two. I will give her the opportunity to earn more money. She will be in charge of making sure she has enough money for all her activities of the week. Especially at first there will be weeks when she doesn't have the money for the activities toward the end of the week. It will be painful, but perhaps she'll learn something about budgeting her money. Perhaps. I continue to hope. I have to, as it's hope that keeps me going.


Anonymous said...

Clearly the workshop is a better place to learn how to handle $$ than in the wider world. She'll see some handling their money independently (we hope) and others using their outside supports (external brains?) to help them. The best thing your daughter has going for her in terms of learning is her strong connection to You. She is blessed to have you in her corner.

Reverend Mom said...

Thanks-- today I was hearing how I was her problem, and she needed to get rid of me. I know she doesn't mean that, but it still hurts. It's nice to have the affirmation here that I don't get from her.