Saturday, June 4, 2011

Defining Success and Program News

Daughter and I have been talking quite a bit about men and relationships. She is so determined to have a boyfriend and incapable of maintaining any kind of a relationship. She was complaining about the guy she just broke up with, and I was pointing out the mixed messages she'd given him. To her credit, she heard what I was saying, and recognized she hadn't been fair to him. With the move happening on Monday, a number of young men will be joining Daughter's program. I asked her if she could stay away from them for now.

"Probably not." It was an honest, though frustrating, answer. She acknowledged that these challenges with men are a result of her history. The she said, "Why is Birth Brother so successful?" BB is 30, and on at least his 3rd marriage. He's had a number of girl friends between marriages, and at least one while married. I pointed out that he's been married three time, and asked if that sounded like success. She thought it did. So we talked about whether his ex-wives or daughter from a previous marriage would see it as success. She decided they wouldn't. I'm not sure she is able to see that he isn't successful. The connection between them is strong, and I don't think she is ready to see his shortcomings.

In other news, I got word as to part of the bus schedule once Daughter returns from camp and starts back in the program at the new location. Monday-Thursday the bus will pick her up at the church. It will drop her off at home every day and pick her up at home on Friday. She will be getting home between 5:30 and 5:40, and on Friday morning she will be picked up at 6:20. I hope pickup from the church won't be that early. I'm going to give it a try, but I'm not sure she'll be able to handle a day that long. The late drop off in the evening will give me more time for visits and such in the afternoon, but I'm not sure that will be good for me, either. I need to be forced to stop and focus on other things at some point in the day.

She had her psychological evaluation for the guardianship yesteday morning, so I dropped her off at her program in the new location Friday afternoon. It's a beautiful building. They will have more space and it will be a wonderful base for them to return to after their outings. Program Cooordinator is still working on getting the staff to understand the importance of not talking about their personal lives in front of the group. While Daughter was being tested, a sub was describing the auto accident she was in a year ago. She lived, but her unborn child died as a result of the accident. PC was all over her about sharing personal details, and reminded the rest of the staff that they needed to remind one another of the rules. I'm glad Daughter wasn't there to hear the gory details (which were pretty bad, I understand).

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