Daughter came home in a good mood, telling me she wanted to go shopping this weekend. I pointed out she didn't have money to go to shopping. We took the chore list that has the value of each job, so she earned $6 yesterday, which is about right. She worked for less than an hour (though spread out over several hours) and then was too tired to do anything else. We figured out the jobs that she could do to finish paying off her ipod debt to me. Then she vanished to her bedroom.
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I finally called her down. She informed me she wasn't going to work today. I told her she at least had to do the cat boxes. She insisted she had-- until I headed upstairs to check, when she started yelling about how I should just trust her and she was sick of me refusing to believe her. I told her to let me know when I could inspect, and I'd get her pills and insulin so she could go to bed.
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About an hour later she reappeared. "I need to talk."
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She went into this long speech about how she was too worried and stressed to do anything. She's worried about me and about Pregnant Best Friend. I reminded her that when she's worried about someone she should pray for them. She informed me that didn't work.
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I laid it out for her. I informed her that she had been frustrated that she didn't have money for shopping, so she had gone up to her room to feel sorry for herself. I told her that now she was looking for reasons to justify not working. I told her it wasn't working. I wasn't going to feel sorry for her. There was nothing anyone could do to fix her worries, it was up to her. She sat silent for a moment, then said, "Fine." She went out to the kitchen and got a bag and went upstairs and cleaned out the cat boxes. She came back downstairs for her pills and insulin. She's in bed.
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Tonight, I won. I identified what was happening and refused to buy into her drama. She listened to what I had to say, and dropped the drama. I held her accountable, and it worked. Of course, that doesn't mean it will work tomorrow, but tonight I will savor my victory.
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