Daughter miscalculated tonight. She hid in her room all evening, avoiding work, and than 30 minutes past her normal bedtime, came downstairs to offer me a heart felt apology. "I'm really, really sorry for being such a jerk."
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"What are you going to do about it?"
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"I promise that I'll turn things around and have a better attitude tomorrow evening."
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"I think you need to start tonight. Go unpack that suitcase."
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She crossed her arms, the attitude returning. "I don't have time."
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"I say you do. Go empty it. I'm tired of you coming down at the end of the day and saying you'll do better tomorrow. You can start right now."
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She was not happy to find that her work avoidance strategy had failed, but she finally emptied the suitcase she's been avoiding since Sunday evening. At least, I think she did. I haven't been up to inspect.
3 comments:
I'm constantly amazed at the scheming this young woman puts into avoiding work. I'm willing to bet that she removed maybe two things from that suitcase and tossed them on the floor of her closet.
My husband, whose IQ is about 90 points above your daughter's, has the same attitude toward unpacking but since he's a hard-working partner in a major law firm he's allowed tom get away with it.
She's a lot like Miss K, always trying to manipulate the rules. Maybe they're sisters. I don't think her suitcase is empty but that would be her issue since she needs some of the stuff that's in there. On the other hand she wants money to go shopping with her friend this afternoon so I told her that she could earn it by weeding my flower beds. I went off to do my business and she weeded. It wasn't perfect, but good enough for me since I wasn't going to do it at all.
Does she get paid for doing the jobs? I pay for litter boxes and extra jobs but not for the room nor the suitcases, etc. The litter boxes are worth 5 bucks and if they aren't done by Sunday I do them -- and she gets no money. She takes out the trash for $5, which includes putting the house waste baskets into the trash all wekk when they get full. I never argue, just do the jobs she doesn't do and she loses. It's hard to be consistent with these kids because they are so good at keeping control.
So, when she goes to bed and doesn't do her jobs she misses the opportunity to do them. Sad but true. I wouldn't even talk about it. And the jobs that are related to her are not done....oh, I'm sad, you have no clothing to wear today. DARN.
I think she's smart. She might know when she had no resources that she can't win this battle. Take away the ipod. She hasn't earned it. And whatever else she hasn't earned.
The teeth are probably a stressor. You know what she needs for stressors -- probably hugs and "it must be hard for a girl to think about someone pulling out her teeth, even if she's asleep." I'd be crazy if I thought someone was going to pull my wisdom teeth.
You don't need my advice. Your girl is your girl and mine is mine. Sorry.
I checked-- the closet is okay. The suitcase basically had our dirty clothes in it, and the assignment was to put them in the appropriate hamper bag. She did-- to the best of her ability.
I always appreciate your wisdom, Maeve. Keep offering it. You got it the hard way. Some jobs carry pay, but some are part of being a family. Those have to be done before the jobs that earn money.
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