Nice Guy just left. He left at 10:35. He's lucky, because he learned a very important lesson tonight. At least, I hope he did. Daughter called him earlier this evening, and he was crying and hysterical. She came in and told me he was coming over, because he needed to talk to me.
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He had been with some new friends earlier today, and one of the girls was going to call the police on him. If he's telling me the truth (and I think he is), he picked up a 13 year old girl who was walking along the side of the road. They became friends, and she introduced him to a 15 year old girl that he could date. He met her today, with other girls present. He swears he didn't touch her and was never alone with her. I hope he's telling the truth. I told him he is not to be friends with or talk to women who are under 20 (he's 22). I assured him that if he was telling the truth, he didn't have anything to fear if the girl did call the police, because he didn't do anything illegal, but that it was stupid to even think of dating a 15 year old.
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I hope he learned from this. I hope he took this as a strong warning. I told him it was a gift. Their friend was found competent to stand trial recently, I saw it in the paper. He was sexting a 13 year old. I find myself wondering whether the workshop is explaining to these young men the dangers of being involved with minors. If they aren't, I think they should be, because there is entirely too much of it going on. I explained to Nice Guy that teenage girls were excited and flattered to have a 22 year old man paying attention to them, and it isn't safe. He wanted to just stay here a while. By the time he left he was calmer, and I don't think he was as scared. His mom is working tonight, and he was afraid to tell her. I told him to tell her he'd learned an important lesson tonight, and that she wouldn't say anything to him that he hadn't already heard from me.
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Daughter was a good friend to him tonight. I'm proud of her. I'm also tired. She's going to have a hard time getting up in the morning. I'm not looking forward to that battle.
2 comments:
Yes, the workshop staff needs to instruct its clients about dating and sex and what's okay and what's not.
I doubt the girl called the police because she would have done so immediately if something actually happened. It was probably a threat to mess with his mind but it was cruel.
The young man should be aware that teenage girls lie about being over 18. Even if she showed him an ID it could be fake. There's really no way to know for sure unless there is someone he can trust who will vouch for her, and that isn't likely to happen.
It's a bad situation for any young man, particularly one who isn't savvy to the ways of the world.
I told him that they would lie about their age, and he shouldn't believe what they tell him. I suggested he focus on women over 20 to help reduce that risk somewhat.
I really felt bad for him. I hope he talks to his parents and they reinforce what I told him.
This county is very reactive-- it seems to be part of the culture. So convincing the workshop that they need to be proactive in addressing some of these things is a challenge, to say the least. I'm just glad I don't have a son.
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