Tuesday, April 19, 2011


Daughter has been working very hard to get a psychiatric hospitalization. She's not getting it, but she sure is trying. It has been a tough few days. Saturday I discovered she has been stealing money from me. I'm now locking my purse up in my bedroom, too. She gave me a card, and then took it away and threw it in the trash becaue I don't deserve it.

Sunday we celebrated the 16th anniversary of her adoption. No, I didn't feel like celebrating, but she took a break from telling me I'm not her mom and she's changing her last name to cling to me, give me frequent kisses, and say in a baby voice, "My mommy." She pointed out it was our special day and we had to celebrate. I took her out to eat, because I didn't feel like cooking and I didn't want to fuel her acting out by sending the message the adoption wasn't worthy of celebration.

Yesterday Birth Brother called her invited her to come visit for a few days.

"How do you feel about that?"

"I want to go. It's just for a couple of days."

"What about insulin, food, and bed wetting?"

"Well, I didn't tell BB this, but I'm not comfortable visiting him yet. I'd rather he come here for the first few visits."

I told her she had to tell him that. I'm going to tell him it would be better to talk to me about things like this first. I suspect I'll be the evil mom depriving long lost birth siblings with the opportunity to reconnect afer all these years. I think I'll suggest we meet on neutral ground some place between us. I can leave the two of them alone to visit and be available when Daughter freaks out.

Of course, who knows if the conversation with BB even took place. Yesterday afternoon she told me she'd checked with one of the saints on Sunday, and I could drop her off there before my evening meeting. She said I should call to confirm. I finally figured out she hadn't talked to the woman at all. I'm tired of the lying.

A friend pointed out that Daughter always amps it up for Holy Week. She is so jealous of my work. I am so grateful for something positive in my life. She sees Therapist this afternoon. Therapist has been briefed. We'll see what she's able to do with Daughter.


maeve said...

Oh, my goodness I'm listening. No idea about true or not true. Honor the threat. I want to smack her but she's not mine to smack. And that's a great thing! And I know that you won't do it, nor should you. YIKES.

Reverend Mom said...

Smacking does sound inviting, but she's bigger than I am, and probably stronger, so it might not end well. It hasn't happened this time, but in the past I've had dreams of beating her up when she's been this difficult.