Tuesday, April 19, 2011

A Decision and Odds and Ends

I have come to a difficult decision. It is time to begin looking for an out of home placement for Daughter. The power struggle with her is taking too big a toll on me. I am exhausted, and my health is suffering. I told Daughter, who was quite distressed. "I never thought about what my behavior was doing to you." I was in tears as I talked to her about it. I told her I'd still be her mom, and would still see her lots, but it was time for a change. Therapist helped her make a list of the pros and cons of moving out, and she decided there are more pros than cons.

I went out to do a visit this afternoon, and left my cell phone in the car. She freaked out when I wasn't answering. She called Administrative Assistant, who assured her I'd be back to get her.

I registered her for a camp for special needs adult camp in early June back before Christmas. I haven't heard anything since I got the receipt, so I sent off an email yesterday asking about the status of her registration. I have yet to get an answer. Last year they lost at least one registration from someone connected with the church. I'm trying not to panic. I want that week break from her. They added a second special needs camp this year because the first one filled up so quickly last year.

I've received an invitation to join a peer support group that has overnight meetings 5 times a year. They have a meeting coming up in early May. I'm meeting with Case Manager next week. I've told her I want respite for that night and I want to discuss other living options for Daughter. She told me Daughter is going to be tough to place. She's high functioning, but needs tight supervision. I asked about accessing resources through her psychiatric diagnoses. Case Manager will look into that. It could take a couple of years to get her into the right place, but it's time to begin moving forward with this. It's past time.


Kristin said...

At the end of the day, you have to do what's best for both you AND daughter. The testing, the attention seeking, the drama... She wants to be grown, but at the same time, she's still stuck at puberty.

I hope this decision will bring you some peace.

Reverend Mom said...

Thanks, Kristin. At this point I'm just sad, and apprehensive about the drama she'll create as she tests staff in a new situation.

Marge said...

I have been worried about your health for quite some time now. Yes, you need a change and some time for yourself or there will be no one to love Daughter.

Blessings to you on your search for help.

Reverend Mom said...

Thanks, Marge. I hope the right opportunity will come at the right time for both Daughter and me.

Denise said...

I've been following your blog for a few months now and am praying for you. I will find myself in a similar situation in a couple of years and hope that I will have the strength and grace to make the right decisions. I think you sound AMAZING.

Take care of yourself or you will be no help to anyone.

Miz Kizzle said...

A very wise decision.
This will take some time and effort but it will be best for both of you in the end.

Reverend Mom said...

Thanks for the support and prayers, everyone!