Revisiting the Opportunity

Case Manager called today. She wanted to warn me if I turned down this opportunity to get Daughter into supported living, it might be 10 years before there would be another opening. She suggested using it as respite for 2 weeks to see how it would work. If I intended to stay here long term, I'd probably view this opportunity differently. As it is, though, I could be moving within the next year, and I don't want to leave Daughter behind and move to another state. Would it be fair to pull her out of her new home just as she's settling in?

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There's the issue of her current emotional state and all the stress she's had the last few months. She could very well view this as me getting rid of her, which would be the biggest trigger of them all. I'm not sure she's strong enough to handle it.

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If she moves into supported living, she loses my insurance, as I would no longer be providing over half of her support. That means she would lose Therapist (who doesn't take Medicaid). She could lose other doctors, too, since I've had to sweet talk many of them and point out that my insurance is primary.

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There's the issue of her diabetes. If medical professionals on the psych unit have so much trouble managing her diabetes, how can I expect the staff in a supported living home to handle it? The staff member who took her to the area track meet last spring hadn't read the instructions about Daughter's diabetes, and even though I gave her instruction, she didn't do any of the things I told her to do and shorted Daughter on her insulin, causing her blood sugar to go sky high.

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I would gain my freedom if she were to move. I could unlock my knives and medication. I would be free to come and go without worrying about finding sitters for her. I could go to conferences, and be gone all day, and cook and eat without constantly measuring food and calculating carbs.

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I'm going to have to do some more praying about this. I made an appointment with Therapist for Daughter tomorrow, but I think I'm going to go alone. The two of us can weigh the pros and cons and come up with a plan. At this point, my inclination is still to turn it down. If we have to wait 10 more years, we wait. I don't plan to be here in 10 years, and I know that God will provide the right opportunity at the right time. I'm not sure this is the right opportunity at the right time.