Saturday, November 7, 2009

"It's Me"

I had three phone calls from Daughter yesterday. I was going to be doing errands in Town yesterday afternoon, so I told her I'd pick her up early from the workshop. I figured that would make it easier for her to get through the day. I also wanted her home a little earlier so she could help with the final clean-up in preparation for her date.
The first call was fine, but the second 2 came while I was at lunch with a colleague and she was teary and wanting me to come get her. I gave her my standard pep talk about how she was doing well and could make it through the day. I've been giving her that pep talk a couple of times a day for a couple of weeks now. I had hoped the increase in meds would eliminate the need for the pep talk, but it didn't. I was a little concerned that even knowing I was picking her up and she had a date that night wasn't enough to get her through the day. Usually, when she calls with her tears and pathetic voice, she blames something that is going on at the workshop. Someone is bothering her, or her blood sugars are out of whack (which they usually aren't), or some other minor excuse.
When I picked her up yesterday, I asked her what had been going on that she needed to call me. Because she was interrupting my lunch, I had not given her time to tell me the whole sad tale, I'd gone right into my pep talk. In response to my question, she responded that she didn't know what had caused her problems, nothing had been going on at the workshop. She ended with, "It's me."
While it's good that she's not blaming her problems on others, it's concerning that even with a short day and something to look forward to she still struggles to make it through the day. There are times when I wonder why, like with her blood sugars, there isn't a blood test that would determine what chemicals are off in her brain and enable Psychiatrist to find the right balance of meds for her. Maybe someday....

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