Sunday, November 8, 2009

Peace (At Least Temporarily)

Daughter sat down and on her own came up with a list of reasons she deserved to have good things in her life. Once she had come up with her list, she calmed down and apparently the voices stopped. She was able to do a few chores and for a while she sat next to me with her head on my shoulder. The peace that came over her was truly amazing.
She went to bed, and probably slept well. I went to bed and had weird dreams all night long. When she gets into bad places and starts raging and hearing voices, I end up exhausted. I always struggle with when it is time to take her to the hospital. When do I call Psychiatrist about a medication change? What do we try to work through at home? What could I do differently to prevent her from becoming psychotic to begin with? Is there anything I can do? Of course, according to D, all I have to do is get her off the medication and stop having those counselors talk to her about her past abuse....
One of the things I realized last night is that by locking up the medication and insulin, I have taken away one of her coping mechanisms. It used to be that when the voices started up and she felt the need to hurt herself, she could take extra insulin. The resulting low met that need. Now, she can't get at any of the easy ways to hurt herself. I need to remember to remind her of some of the other things that Therapist suggested she do when she feels the need hurt herself. For now, I will enjoy the peace and hope that it continues when I wake her up in a few minutes.


Linda B said...

I cannot imagine what it is like to have voices telling you to do things. Or to have a child with that. I'm happy for your moments of peace. I hope they grow quickly!

Reverend Mom said...

I enjoy our moments of peace, and I never would have believed that I would have been able to parent someone who hears voices telling her to kill me. But God gives us the strength to do what God calls us to do.