Nice Guy came over today to watch The Game. It was two weeks ago last night that he came over for the first time. All of their get togethers have gone well, but last night Daughter began worrying. She wasn't sure she could handle him being her for the whole game. Getting close to any man triggers her PTSD, and so most of her relationships are very short lived. I assured her that she could handle it. I reminded her that she has a voice and knows how to keep herself safe now. I also decided that given her anxiety, it was an opportune time to try the xanax Psychiatrist prescribed. She protested, she didn't want any more drugs. I bribed her with a piece of dark chocolate.
After I washed her hair, I put it up in rollers and put her under the hair dryer. She began sobbing and shaking uncontrollably. I asked her if she was cold, but she wasn't. She didn't know why she was crying. Her hair is wild today because I gave up on making her sit there until it was dry. I decided that xanax is definitely not the answer, though I may try one more time with half a pill, since Psychiatrist said we could try that if the whole pill was too much.
This morning she woke up in good spirits. C came over, and we did some work in the kitchen and Daughter's bedroom. NG came over, and all seemed fine. Part way through the game, I joined them, sitting next to Daughter on the couch. By halftime her head was on my shoulder. I tried to get her to put her head on NG's, but she wouldn't. She fell asleep (shut down-- she was overwhelmed). By the end of the game, she was wrapped around my arm. Poor NG couldn't figure out what he'd done wrong. I assured him it had nothing to do with him. Daughter hasn't been able to talk to him about it. She's talking about breaking up with him. I told her that that's fine, but that means she needs to stop looking for a boyfriend until she's ready to handle it. I really feel bad for NG. Most of the guys she dates deserve to be dumped, but NG hasn't done anything wrong. He's been kind and patient with her. It's not his fault that she was so damaged by the men in her birth family. She's come a long way, but she is still damaged. I don't know if she'll ever heal to the point that she can be intimate with a man.