Monday, November 30, 2009

The Bubble

Daughter lies. Daughter lies a lot. She will tell me she took her shower. "Will I find evidence?" Sometimes she will than admit she didn't, and go take it (though usually with a few loud words about how it isn't any of my business and she's not my puppet). For breakfast, she has oatmeal and milk. She needs some kind of protein to help keep her blood sugar stable until lunch. We generally have reduced fat sausage and cheese available for her protein source. Lately she has been protesting eating her protein. I found part of a sausage link in the upstairs hall after a cat retrieved it from the trash. I found a piece of cheese outside on the ground where she had thrown it.
This morning her blood sugar was on the low side of normal, so it was especially important for her to have her protein. I asked about it, and she assured me she'd taken one of the individually wrapped cheese pieces and eaten it. "Will I find evidence?" She assured me I would. I went and checked. No cheese wrapper in the trash. I gave her a piece of cheese and made her eat it in front of me. She was not happy, but she knew better than to protest, as it was her own doing. She knows why she needs the protein (I've explained it several hundred times), but she doesn't care enough about her own health to follow through.
One time she explained to me why she lied. She told me that with each lie, a bubble she has created around her grows. The bigger the bubble, the safer she feels. The bubble protects her from getting close to people, keeps her from feeling vulnerable. The lying is another sign of her current stress level. She is creating a big bubble around herself (when she's not sitting next to me wrapped around my arm, that is). She claims she's hearing voices again. She says her birth parents are telling her to kill herself. I told her to tell them to get out of her life, that she's safe now and doesn't need to listen to them. Is she really hearing voices? Maybe. Or maybe she's just making sure she has a big enough bubble to protect her from getting close to anyone. Maybe some day I'll figure out how to pop the bubble.


Miz Kizzle said...

The bubble analogy is very perceptive. I don't think anyone could explain it better.
I wonder if she's ever tried role playing? If a therapist she trusts could play the role of her birth mother and tell her she's no good, she'll never be independent, she should kill herself, etc, would that help her talk back to her negative thoughts/voices?

debinca said...

hmm, I think I will tell the bubble theory to my dd ad see what she says.
Your dd and mine are alike in many ways, I even read dd outloud one of your descriptions of your dd's anxiety about leaving on time.

My dd laughed and said ' who is that , it sounds just like me'

I feel like all I keep saying is , 'hang in there' and ' prayers' but honey its all I got, and all I am doing.

PS my password to sing into your post is calling.. weird huh?

Reverend Mom said...

Miz Kizzle,

Ah, some good old fashioned gestalt type stuff-- good idea. I'll mention it to Therapist.


It is amazing how much alike these kids are. Please let me know what your dd says.