A woman, D, stopped by the church this morning while Secretary and I were working in the office. Somehow, the conversation got around to Daughter. She informed me it was obvious that Daughter was on too much medication and I needed to stop taking her to all these counselors and psychiatrists who just stirred up things that happened when she was too young to remember.
I foolishly tried to explain and defend Daughter's needs and treatment. D is never going to understand, and she'll always be convinced that I am creating Daughter's problems.
I struggle with the amount of medication Daughter is on. I held off doing anything about her downward spiral because I knew it would mean more medication. She is having tremors, and the Psychiatrist has said if they are too bad we can give her a medication to stop the tremors. I don't want to put her on more medication to counter side effects of other medications. I also don't want her hearing voices instructing her to kill people. I don't know what was talked about while she was in the hospital, but I know that neither Psychiatrist or Therapist are talking to her about her past abuse. Both are focused on giving her the tools she needs to improve her functioning.
I know I'm doing a good job with Daughter. I know that I'm making the best of a difficult situation. I know that I have rejected medical professionals who didn't understand her needs and been willing to drive great distances to find her the help she needs. I know that I am good at recognizing and stopping her manipulations. I also know I'm not perfect. So why do I feel the need to defend myself?