Saturday, December 31, 2011

Sucked In

Sister and Short Niece are both struggling as they adjust to life on their own. Short Niece is struggling with going between her mom and dad's home. Sister is a helicopter parent, which makes it harder for Short Niece to be away from her.
Short Niece, as is to be expected, is running back and forth between the two houses with all kinds of stories. Sister is taking the bait, hook, line, and sinker. I end up getting the distraught phone calls as Sister reports to me everything Short Niece said to her. I remind her that Short Niece's reports are filtered through her emotional state and her interpretation, and are most likely designed to get a reaction. I'm a little frustrated because it seems that Sister isn't taking any of my suggestions. I'm not convinced she wants to improve the situation.
The one bit of good news is that she is getting Short Niece in to see a counselor this week. I don't think she'll be real happy when the counselor begins making suggestions about changes she needs to make to her approach. She told SN's dad about the counselor, and he wants to talk to her. She's not thrilled with that idea. I told her I think it is wonderful that he wants to be involved and that she should give him the counselor's name and number.
I'm hoping that the counselor will encourage Sister to get some help. I know Sister is frustrated with me because I won't join her in trashing her ex and his mom. My mantra with her is that this is hard on everyone and she needs to remember that they all love SN and want what's best for her. That's not the answer she's looking for. I have managed to disengage from Daughter's drama, so you'd think it would be easy not to get sucked in to Sister's drama. It's proving to be hard, though. Very hard.

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