Friday, September 30, 2011

Safe at Church

I suspect Daughter is depressed. It's hard to know for sure what's going on with her, as she refuses to talk to me about what's bothering her. She says I scare her. When pressed, she acknowledges it's not anything I've done, but is rather about her. That doesn't make it any less frustrating, though.

For the last few days, I feel like she can't speak to me without either yelling or whining. She began this morning by cussing out her hair. It wasn't doing what she wanted it to do, apparently. I am avoiding interaction with her as much as possible. Any attempt to converse with her seems to end with her yelling at me, so I don't see much point in engaging her.

Yesterday her program was closed for a staff in-service, so she was at the church. It was a busy day. We finished the newsletter, edited a brochure about our mission programs, and finished the bulletin for Sunday. I had a lunch meeting, and then a meeting with a couple of board members about rewriting our by-laws. Administrative Assistant put Daughter to work sorting music. It took her a while, but she completed the job. When she was with AA, she was fine. When she'd wander into my office, she'd start whining. When AA left for the day, she came into my office and pouted on the love seat, eventually falling asleep.

Last night was choir, and we went back to the church for it. Daughter decided she wasn't going to sing. She sat in my office and pouted. I got some work done. I had to go back and finish a few things that I didn't get done during the day, but we stayed because while we're at the church around other people, she's nicer to me. I get tired of being the target of her frustration.

I asked one of the women about her son as she was leaving. Her younger son has autism. He is currently in an assessment program that will lead to his placement in a job training program. He's living in a dorm and his mom says he's the happiest she's ever seen him. He feels like he fits in there. We've had conversations, and she knows what I'm dealing with. She looked so happy and relaxed last night. She just joined the choir this year, feeling like she couldn't do it while their son was at home struggling through school. She looked at Daughter, who was looking pathetic. She simply said to me, "Your day will come." My response was a simple thanks, but inside my heart was a little lighter. She reminded me there is hope.

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