Thursday, September 1, 2011

It Never Fails

So it was about 12:30, and I was telling someone that by this time yesterday I'd had tearful calls from Daughter, but today she hadn't called.  My phone rang.  Daughter was sobbing.  I needed to come get her right that moment.  She couldn't wait until 2:30, when I was scheduled to pick her up. 

I didn't go pick her up.  I did spend several minutes suggesting ways to cope and telling her I had confidence in her ability to manage until 2:30.  By the time I hung up, she was calmer. 

When I went to pick her up (we had a home visit from adult services at 3:30), she came rushing towards me and told me not to get out of the car.  She grabbed my arm, trying to turn me around.  I continued toward the building.  She started screaming, "Some kind of mother you are.  You're talking to the enemy.  I hate you.  You're a b*tch!"  A number of people were outside and their mouths were hanging open.  They couldn't believe that Daughter would blow up like that or treat me that way.  I ignored the outburst, and explained there was no point engaging her when she was so angry.  I also said I'd seen much worse. 

Program Manager asked if Daughter ever hit me.  I'm not sending Daughter to program tomorrow, because we have appointments and commitments.  She wanted to make sure I'd get a break a some point over the long 4 day weekend.  I think they were shocked by  glimpse of my life. 

By the time we got home, Daughter was sobbing her apologies and talking about how much she hated being unable to control her outbursts.  She doesn't want to go out in public or be around people.  It's too embarrassing. 

I'm encouraged, as the swings are not as extreme and the meltdowns don't last as long as they did.  It's progress, and I'll take all the progress I can get.  We are hoping by the time she returns to her program on Tuesday, she'll be better able to handle the situation.  Of course, right now she insists she's not going back ever again.

She had done well most of the day, but Program Manager told me she was like a spider, luring the guys into her web by being all sweet and nice and then saying things that leave them hurt and angry.  Daughter claims she's the victim, of course.  I'll be so glad when we get the new medication figured out. 

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