Last night I worked the church's concession booth at a college football game. It was a hot night in a close booth in very tight quarters. Daughter stayed with Administrative Assistant. She was with her for about 6 hours and did very well. She was pleasant and cooperative.
I was impressed and optimistic when I picked her up. Then we got home. The meltdown began. After screams, threats, refusing to take her medicine or go to bed, she finally told me what was wrong. Her Friend from Tiny Village is pregnant with her second child. Daughter is jealous, because F has a husband, child, and second one on the way. She sees F as having a life, and insists she doesn't have one. She also doesn't have the patience, determination, or whatever it is it takes to get one at this point. She wants to jump into her own apartment and good paying job without learning how to take care of herself, finish a task, manage her moods, handle money, or even stay home alone. Anything less of that is not a life, according to Daughter.
I reminded her again that she had to learn to walk before she could run, and know the letters before she could learn to read. None of that matters. She is jealous of F, and I'm holding her back. I've tried numerous different ways to teach her these basic skills. She's been handling her own spending money for over a month now. She's making progress-- in the first two weeks she ran out of money before the end of the week and couldn't do the things she wanted to do on Thursday and Friday. But even with the progress she's made, she still struggles to understand. She keeps asking to go to the store and buy a new computer, failing to understand that she can't buy one for the $20 she has saved. I finally told her that when she saved $100, I'd help her buy a new computer. I thought that was a realistic amount for her to save, and though it wouldn't pay for a whole computer, it would be a good start and help her learn to save money for big things. Of course, every other day she tells me to forget the computer and let her buy something else. Today she asked if she had enough to get her hair cut and relaxed.
I continue to work with her on food, and she continues to show me that if I leave any food accessible, she will eat. Even if she doesn't like it and isn't hungry. I continue to work with her on completing tasks and doing it properly. She continues to can't (or is it won't?) follow complete her tasks properly and consistently. If she didn't have diabetes, I could give her more freedom to try things, but I can't let her go out and kill herself.
I got up and made bran muffins and scrambled eggs with sausage and cheese for breakfast this morning. I thought that would be a good way to start the day. She was mad that I wanted her up at 9:00 (she's usually up at 5:30) and decided she didn't like the eggs today (even though she's liked them other times). It could be a very long weekend.