Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Victim Mode

Daughter has fallen back into the victim mode. When I point out that I've tripped and almost fallen twice over shoes I asked her to put away yesterday evening, I'm the b*tch trying to control her life by screaming at her. (Of course it doesn't matter that I haven't raised my voice and she's yelling at me). It's one of those days when she's going to do anything she can to get me to say something to justify her raging at me. It doesn't matter what I say or how I say it, it will be seen as proof that she is the victim of a terrible mother and justify verbal abuse of me.

Choosing not to engage causes her to escalate. She can't sing the song she's been practicing for over a week because she sang it once with Grandma and it's not fair that Grandma had to die. When that didn't get a response from me, she went on a tirade about how all of creation was stacked against her and trying to make her life miserable. I gently informed her that her problems right now were the results of choices she was making, and that I knew she could do better, she had for almost two weeks. She didn't argue-- she fell asleep, unable to face that reality. I had to wake her up to go to her program. Usually she wants to go down early.

Part of the issue, unfortunately, is that staff engaged in conversations about issues that triggered Daughter's PTSD yesterday. She became psychotic with flashbacks. One was describing a serious auto accident that injured multiple family members. Another was dealing with her daughter who wanted to be rescued from an abusive relationship. That same one was dealing with her mother's hospitalization. They truly don't understand the impact they have on people like Daughter when they share details from their personal lives. Program Coordinator is going to explain again why this is inappropriate.

I know this post jumps around and doesn't make much sense-- kind of reflective of they way life is here in Capital right now....

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